Monday, August 06, 2012

And Then One Day, "Salon" Bought "Boy's Life"




Hey Mr. Glenngarry!

Hey Jimmy!

I've got a joke for you, Mr. Glenngarry

Lay it on me, Jimmy!

Do you know what a messy cub scout's favorite food is Mr. Glenngarry?

No I don't Jimmy.  What is a messy cub scout's favorite food?

It's  "Corn on the Cub"  Mr.  Glenngarry!

That is very funny Jimmy.

Thank you, Mr. Glenngarry.

Of course, it's less funny when you consider that Barack Obama could have that messy scout murdered whenever he wants to.  A lot less funny, don't you think Jimmy?

What's that,  Mr. Glenngarry?

Murder, Jimmy.   Barack Obama murdering some poor cub scout just for being messy.  Or for no reason at all.  His whole family too.  And all of his friends.  He could even have you murdered right this minute for no reason at all.

But...I....don't understand, Mr. Glenngarry?

You and everyone you love, Jimmy!

But...

Not very funny now, is it Jimmy!

I...I...

Is it Jimmy!?!

/Jimmy begins crying/

For God's sake Jimmy!  Wake the fuck up!  He's worse than Bush.  He's worse than nine Hitlers!  Say it, Jimmy. Say "Barack Obama is worse than nine Hitlers!"  Say it!

Why are you doing this, Mr. Glengarry?

I thought you scouts had an oath, Jimmy?  I thought you kids promise to keep yourselves "physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight."

We do, Mr. Glengarry.

Well how can you call yourself "mentally awake and morally straight" if you won't admit that Barack Obama is worse than nine Hitlers?  Or are you just another Obamabot hypocrite?  Well!  Are you Jimmy?  Are you? 


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3 comments:

The Conscience of Baal said...

Hey Mr. Glenngarry!

Hey Drifty!

Why don't you have any pom poms for the big game, Mr. Glenngarry?

Because I am an adult, Drifty. And the game ended long ago. There's a different sort of contest starting. Now hand over your lunch. I am going to eat it again.

Hairtic said...

Sorry, drift, but you're dead wrong on this one. Nothing I've seen on Salon regarding this issue has been overstated, let alone hysterical or hyperbolic. Salon contributors' lack of silence on this profoundly moral issue rightly identifies it as one whose honest evaluation requires decent human beings to move it as far as possible from distorting scales of partisanship.

Anonymous said...

You're starting to seem jealous of anybody who gets paid to write. It's unseemly.