Your 2012 GOP South Carolina Knife-Fight

In easy-to-digest Twitter-form:


For the benefit of future historians and current award committees, my Tweets from last night:

• Newt believes asking amateur paleontologists about their history of lying, adultery and rank hypocrisy will weaken America. Fundamentally!


• Willard thinks state should be able to decide whether or not they want to screw veterans.


• Willard thinks it's a national military when it comes to buying tanks, but handling vet problems s/b done state-by-state.


• For God's sake, what does Willard have to do to show how much compassion he has for you grubby, carbon-based meat-bags!


• TelePrompter! Drink!


• Ron Paul mentions the 60s. Hippies?!? Somewhere David Brooks just popped a boner.


• "Frothy" points out that Newt in insane.


• Newt: I helped Marconi develop elbow pasta radio in 1622. I helped Tesla invent electrons.


• Newt: I built Calvin Coolidge out of a kit that I received through the mail just after I invented the mail.


• Willard: I have been down the mean streets of America. Well, my driver has...


• Willard has a S0C-7 Abend.


• Fundamental + Reagan! Drink until you can't feel your Laffer Curve!


• Ron Paul waves his Republican cloth coat.


• Willard will let you grubby carbon-based meat-bags look at his mountain of looted gold when Hell freezes over.


• Willard: My Dad was born a poor black child. Later I was born. My Dad gave me nothing but my hair. I love God. Next question!


• Willard: I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992.


• Frothy:The internet is a mean place where property rights are abused and people get horrible nicknames just 4 loving Jebus!


• Tonight's real winners? Future historians looking to pinpoint the moment when the GOP completely, publicly shit the bed.


• Newt:If I could do 1 thing over, I'd travel back in time & stop myself from inventing mint jelly. It was a fundamentally bad idea


• Newt: Deporting grandfathers will never work. Especially horny, serial adulterer grandfathers.


• Frothy: The 1st thing you do is obey the law, but the 1st thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire. And by "Jed" I mean "Willard"


• Did Mr. Libertarian just advocate eliminating the Posse Comitatus Act?


• Willard: I respect the fact that you grubby, carbon-based life forms take your reproductive rituals seriously.


• Willard: Clones? No! Replicants? Oh Hell yes!


• Shorter Newt: Fundamentally, N*gger! N*gger! N*gger! Basically


• Shorter Mittens: S0C6 Tax Explanation Abend -- Invalid parameters were passed through the linkage section.


• 1) Jefferson Davis would have been right at home on stage. 2) GOP voters wouldn't understand why that would be a bad thing.


• Willard promises tax massage, but without full release.

To which what can one add, but