After The Debate

Newt went back to yelling at stray dogs about Mexicans, Muslims and the Secret Liberal Media Conspiracy behind it all.

Fundamentally.

Basically.


Various Tweets sent by yours truly (and subsequently tidied up just a little) during tonight's "Ayn Randier Than Thou" GOP contest:

Lines you will not hear tonight? Romney: My wife doesn't have a mink coat. But she does have a respectable Republican cloth coat...

Lines you will not hear tonight? Gingrich: My 3rd wife doesn't have a mink coat. But she does have a respectable Republican cloth coat...

Halperin, Steele and Noonan on the MSNBC debate panel of idle speculators. This is what it looks like when you shit in zero gravity.


Ron Paul comes out firmly against seat belts and safe baby food. Bless his crazy fucking heart.

Cain proposed Pizza-care with Crazy Bread, but the damn federal gummint wouldn't let him.

Perry: Texas sick people are different than Massachusetts sick people, bitches!

Romney: Massachusetts sick people are different than Iowa sick people, bitches!

Ron Paul comes out firmly against seat belts and safe baby food. Bless his crazy fucking heart.


And now let's hear from the Wingnut Rockettes

(In response to @DLoesch) Because [no jobs or crap jobs] are your two choices in an oligarchy. Now beg little people! Beg!


Mitt: I promise every citizen a nice severance package before shutting the place down.


GOP Ribbed Condoms: Like thousands of tiny fascist fingers urging you to let your democracy go.


Every time there's been a proposed increase to the minimum wage, the GOP has predicted doom. Got it wrong EVERY time. Kind of awesome.


Ron Paul: It was a bad scene, dude!


Ron Paul: Give Me Bimetalism or Give Me Death!


Ron Paul's constant repetition of "Man Date" is making Santorum very nervous.


I see Huntsman borrowed Schwarzenegger's "Goldfinger Tie" from the Republican Nat'l Convention. Why I remember shit like this I do not know


Mitt: Coal mining jobs for all!


Watching Santorum lie about Welfare Reform is very entertaining.


The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the booze of wingnut drinking games.


GOP Consensus: Trust the marketplace to take care of plagues.


Newt: Big adjectives give me an erection.


Bachmann: Immigration worked much better in the 50s when we could legally force Negroes and women to do all the shit work.


Right now they're trying to peel [a gin-soaked Peggy Noonan] off of Reagan Force One, which she was humping while screaming "Fill me with your Reaganbabies!"


Ron Paul promises to convert America to the octal [base 8] system. Sure, everyone will have to lose a finger, but after that everything will work much smoother.


Mitt: As long as we define "Middle Class" to mean "lifetime, corporate indentured debt peonage" I PROMISE to "restore" the "Middle Class".


Santorum: Reagan never cut and run.

driftglass: Really? Beirut? Hello? Ring any fucking bells? Jesus, just how fucking stupid do you have to be to be a Republican Senator?


Santorum: Reagan wasn't a fucking isolationist!

driftglass: Yeah, instead he believed in selling weapons to terrorists and funding his illegal war with the proceeds.


Bachmann: Obama agrees with me that the EPA is with tool of Satan!

Perry: Criminals should be executed. In English.


If you want to know what sort of subhuman goons love torture, just swing those cameras around and point them at the audience.


(In response to Ron Paul) Hey, dumbass! School lunch program was created by the War Dept because huge #s of recruits for WWII had grown up too malnourished to serve.

And, as a public service, let us answer the unspoken question: "Why is it that the nation's young men were showing up for national service severely malnourished?"

Because we were, in fact, using Ron Paul's market-driven Libertarian pixie dust to feed the poor. And you know what? It doesn't fucking work:

...
Throughout much of the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, many state and local school districts provided food for their students to promote learning. The idea of whether the federal government ought to play a role in child nutrition was not raised until the Great Depression, when Congress began to appropriate federal dollars to assist states facing severe economic distress. In the 1930s the federal government began to distribute surplus food to states for use in local schools. Later, when food distribution became difficult during the war years, the government awarded cash grants enabling states to purchase food at local markets. Not only did these programs help states feed poor children, but they also created a market for farm goods, which worked to the benefit of the farmers.

By the 1940s, however, it was still painfully obvious that too many of America's youth, especially in the South, remained grossly undernourished. This lack of nourishment was especially problematic and notable when a number of young men failed armed forces physicals after being drafted for World War II.

Richard B. Russell, a senator from Georgia, proposed a school lunch program in March 1944 to combat the problem of malnutrition. Senator Russell, although not personally touched by poverty, was well aware of the plight of many of his fellow Georgians, especially children. He also represented a rural state, where farmers had suffered for years from chronically low prices for their goods. Russell proved well positioned to champion a federal program that could address both problems.
...

So Ron Paul won the ideological purity Olympics by advocating that virtually the entire federal government be eliminated, and letting the free market figure out such things as air traffic control and food and drug safety. Herman "the federal gummint is incapable of doing anything" Cain took the Silver, and future GOP nominee for President Rick Perry took the bronze.

At the other end of the spectrum, Huntsman looked like Marylin Munster.