Meanwhile, answering the now-nearly-universal plea from the Republican Teabagger Base for a fresh new face that is "even crazier", but can still dupe the all-important "Pathologically Oblivious Independent Voter" into believing the GOP is not really just a Confederate Rump Party made up of racists, Dominionists, oligarchs, fascists and hard-core imbeciles ...mysterious oil billionaire Amid "Buddy" Gammafraud today pre-announced his intention to announce his bid for President following an all-star rock concert his campaign is bankrolling next weekend.
While little is known of "Buddy" Gammafraud's past, his campaign was immediately and fulsomely endorsed for its "job creating swagger" and "business savvy patriotism" by the Wall Street Journal's editorial page, while Fox News and various prominent Conservative pundits and bloggers leaped to praise his "take no prisoners and shoot the hostages" stances on oil exploration, tax-free repatriation of vast, secret caches of offshore money and, most importantly, his virulent four-hour long ranting denunciation of "The Infidel Obama" and demand that all US, NATO and other "vermin-led" support for the "Satanic forces of international gangsterism" who have driven Libya's "beloved leader and shepherd" into exile be immediately withdrawn and summarily executed.
Beltway insiders Mark Halperin and the late David Broder pronounced "Buddy" Gammafraud's candidacy "exciting" and "Serious", noting that Mr. Gammafraud possessed a "very powerful toolkit" for making a run at the Presidency, specifically citing his apparently unlimited access to "vast, secret caches of offshore money" several times.
When asked by an NPR reporter if "Amid Gammafraud" wasn't kind of an unusual name, Mr. Gammafraud answered through a translator that the reporter would be "shot like a the devil's own dog" and left in the open desert for "carrion birds to feast on your entrails."
When asked if this response wasn't psychotically over-the-top, Mr. Gammafraud replied
"You understand Texas not mess with very good!"
All further questions were directed to Mr. Gammafraud's campaign staff of young, medically-certified brunette female ninjas who said Mr. Gammafraud's formal announcement will come at an All-Star Rock and Roll Concert featuring Usher, Beyonce and Mariah Carey.
Polls conducted just after Mr. Gammafraud's press conference show him now in statistical dead heat with Creationist Governor
9 comments:
Nope. The banksters love him but he's just not Christian-y enough. Although his recently released book might give him a slight bump -- "I Am Have Enough and Will Stop Now!" It's a real page-turner.
I'd vote for "Buddy": he'd Nationalize all the oil companies, and maybe the Banks, too. And probably blow up Wall Street.
While I DO NOT condone Mr G-fraud's particular prescription for the NPR reporter, I think his attitude is correct relative to NPR's generally smarmy, self-important, chronic, cryptic advancement of the essential imbecility of the Rump Party.
I came to that general conclusion long ago but current proof continues at:http://nprcheck.blogspot.com/
John Puma
He won't win without a cowboy hat.
You forgot George Will's description of him as a visceral politician who thrives on conflict. One who understands the first rule regarding political power - "use it or lose it", who has flexed his institutional muscles. Wait a minute, he just wrote that about Chris Christie.
and the animatronic replica of Mitt Romney
No, actually, I think that is the REAL Mitt Romney. Hard to tell them apart, I must say; but just think of all the money the Disney folks will save adding him to the Hall of Presidents.
OK now you got me off on an MST3K kick (not sure if this formatting will stay as typed):
Slab Bulkhead
Fridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Bold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
and more, at
http://incompetech.com/gallimaufry/mstnames.html
[ /tangent]
I didn't think that Perry photo could get any more disturbing. (Actually, I guess the original still is, especially since Perry is still making his ascent, but nice Photoshop job nonetheless.)
Hey, at least he has the support of Cynthia McKinney, Dennis Kucinich and Glen Greenwald.
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