The Mustache of Understanding loots the lamest fortune cookie factory in America and calls it a day.
We learn:
"There is no easy, one-policy fix."We learn:
"We need to cut spending in areas and on a time schedule that will hurt the least... "We learn:
"we need to raise taxes in ways that will hurt the least..."And, finally. Inevitably:
"The sooner we pull together the better. "
Not to worry, Tommy-boy.
I'm sure, in six months or so, America's Mighty Army of Centrism will have this all worked out.
9 comments:
I wonder how many times his editors had to scrub "You will be hungry again in an hour" or "That wasn't chicken" from his article.
Mike.K.
You can make his pronouncements more bearable if you add "...in bed" to them.
Friedman/Brooks 2012 a candidacy for Centrism(that no one will vote for)
RobSPL: Oh my gawd... can you imagine a Bachmann / Palin vs. Friedman / Brooks debate? Could you imagine watching that stoned?
Yeah, yeah, pointless speculation, but Bachmann at the podium talking about Obama being born on Jupiter's fourth moon, Palin talking about Paul Revere writing the Constitution, Fiedman reading fortune cookies, and Brooks desperately trying to stand in the exact center of all three of them....
Mike.K.
What's more offensive to me than all of the bilge these smug overpaid fuckers are emitting is the gang of media-pimps who keep bankrolling them ... & the multitude of schnooks who faithfully continue to subscribe to their every prefab failure.
Not me anymore, Jim.
And thanks for pointing out the media-pimps.
If only we could get a national movement going to replace these managements or have their companies go broke during a selective boycott.
Dreamer!
S
the gang of media-pimps who keep bankrolling them
I was so impressed with Driftglass’s post that I decided to use Driftglass’s method to examine President Obama’s speech today (Monday). I'd say Driftglass has founded a new school of criticism:
Our problems are eminently solvable.
Our challenge is the need to tackle our deficits over the long term.
Making ... reforms … does require ... common sense and compromise.
It’s a lack of political will in Washington…. And that’s what we need to change.
… we will stay on it until we get the job done.
… put money in people’s pockets and more customers in stores.
There’s no reason we shouldn’t act … now.
… we’re going through a tough time right now.
… a lot of people are worried about the future.
Markets will rise and fall, but this is the United States of America.
… we’ve always been and always will be a AAA country.
We will press on. And we will succeed.
Finally, too long for a fortune cookie but enough to make you lose your cookies, the usual appeal to shared sacrifice:
I have faith in these United States of America -- is because of the American people. It’s because of their perseverance, and their courage, and their willingness to shoulder the burdens we face -– together, as one nation.
Friedman and President Obama's speechwriters must shop at the same day-old fortune cookie outlet -- where every idea is stale and every prophecy is false.
Damn you KWillow!
That was a beer snorting.
I thought that ending fortune cookies "In Bed" was a left coast thing..
As for you Drifty, Suzan asked me if you and our prospective wives went out and got likkered up and decided to pop the question.
I said I couldn't vouch for you.
I have your back.
Must have been something in the atmosphere, maybe Fukashima dust but I am tickled that you two hooked up and it would be a monumental party if there was a god of travel that decided we should ever meet.
As ever, risking a swift slap in the face and never afraid, have the castle wenches decided to unionize now?
My best to you and the ever awesome Mrs. Driftglass to be.
You tell Fran she is loved dearly by thousands and you only get her part time.
One more thing, ask her what the hell is up with freaking out about ties and just how many shades of red are there anyway?
My sincere congratulations and my wishes for everlasting love and prosperity to you both,
Busted.
Maybe Obama's brilliant speech-writers quit in disgust. Now he's got Bush's hacks.
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