The Grand Jargon

In case you missed it (and why wouldn't you?) the spectacularly irrelevant Moustache of Understanding has written yet another, hideously inept, "Golly, if only our leaders behaved like this!" one act Barbie-and-Ken puppet show in which Nancy Pelosi, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, Barack Obama and Harry Reid all extol the Mighty, Mighty Virtues of Centrism.

First, Boehner sobers up long enough to deliver a heroically heartwarming, Centrist sermon that would send Frank Capra into a sugar coma. After which;

"President Obama warmly embraced Mr. Boehner and then took the podium..."

After which President Obama completes the race to the Imaginary Center of Tom Friedman's masturbatory dreams and delivers a cuddly, complimentary converso-mirror-oppositish speech:

"Speaker Boehner and Senator McConnell, thank you for your commitment to act in our nation’s highest interests. Let me say publicly what I committed to you privately: I have asked Erskine Bowles and Alan Simpson to revive their deficit commission and to use their recommendations for how to cut spending and raise revenues as the starting point for our negotiations. But it will now be called ‘The National Commission for American Renewal.’"

After which they all play naked Twister, enjoy a Fresca and then leap into The Mystery Machine

to race across America, solving crimes, unfucking up the gummint, and drying every tear.

"One minute later, the New York Stock Exchange opened. The Dow was up 1,223 points at the open — an all-time record.

What’s sad is how much this is a fantasy and how easily — with just a little political will — it could be a reality."

You know what's really, really sad?

That week-in, week-out Tom Friedman actually gets paid actual money by the New York Times to fountain this Centrist tapioca claptrap straight out of his clueless hacktacular ass.