Rather than getting himself fired by writing about his Republican Party as it actually exists and has actually existed for most of his adult life, Our Mr. Brooks instead continues to make a fine, fine living by offering helpful advice to a wholly imaginary Republican Party. The real Republican Party/Conservative Movement has been a rapidly downward-spiraling ass-bag of bigots, oligarchs and imbeciles for at least a generation and will not, does not and has not ever listened to
Mr. Brooks' Imaginary Republican Party/Conservative Movement, on the other hand, is always just on the verge of saving the Republic...
...if only they would heed the admonitions of America's Great Conservative Public Intellectual.
For those of you unfamiliar with Army Group Steiner, this from the late Steve Gilliard will explain all:
Army Group Steiner
How many doors? How many patrols? Will this ever end?
In Hitler's bunker, he repeatedly said that Army Group Steiner would rescue Berlin. The fact that Army Group Steiner was a ramshackle group of units and unable to save itself was of no concern to Hitler. In his mind, Army Group Steiner was the solution to the desperate straits of the German Army.
...
Here, then, are Mr. Brooks' Helpful Suggestions for Imaginary Republicans as they appeared in his ever-more unreadably bad New York Times column, which I have Helpfully Interspersed with my own set of suggestions. (Bobo on the left; me on the right):
Republicans might have been able to withstand…Republicans are a cult.
Republicans have to make a grand …Except that will never happen.
Republicans need Democratic fingerprints…Except that will never happen.
Republicans should offer to…Except that will never happen.
They should get rid of …Except that will never happen.
They should close…and cap…Except that will never happen.
They should…In Modern Memory, Republicans
have never done any such thing.
if the Republicans made an offer that …But that will never happen.
Republicans need to…But they never will.
Never, ever.
Republicans won in 2010 because the
working class fled from the Democrats’
top-down big government liberalism.That is, of course, a lie.
But Bobo often sprinkles
flattering Republican lies
on top of his stupid
suggestions that the Real Right
will never listen to
in the hopes that they
won't beat him up at recess
this time.
Republicans need to be the party of
order, stability and steady growth.In Modern Memory
Republicans have never
been any of those things.
But again, Bobo wants to
1) Keep getting paid for
his absurd twaddle, and,
2) Not get pantsed
in the hallway.
So he keeps flattering
the size of the Right's
nonexistent principles.
They need to lay out…
…they also need to enmesh …The Right has been trying to
kill Medicare since Mr. Brooks
was four years old.
If Republicans can help foster...But they never will.
Never, ever.
And so liberated once again from the burden of addressing the real, monstrous problems of the real depraved Republican Party/Conservative Movement, Mr. Brooks is free to offer this final, warning :
If not, it’s the same old story: whoever is bravest on entitlements will lose.
"Brave" (like Serious and Bold) is, as always, defined as stomping the fuck out of the poor, the weak, the sick, the young and the elderly.
C'mon Steiner!
6 comments:
a rapidly downward-spiraling ass-bag of bigots, oligarchs and imbeciles
That is one great tagline.
Brave? I would like a brave politician to proclaim that the hand-wringing over the deficit is a right-wing strategy to gain power, give more money to the rich, and fuck over the middle and lower class. To shout, We are not going broke!!
Three generations.
Since the Prescott Bush team tried to depose FDR, at least.
Love ya!
S
How can a party be both "weak on entitlements" but also lose a midterm election primarily due to "top-down big government liberalism"?
The Dems got their asses handed to them by the voters in 21010 because their leader was elected on his promises of liberalism but went Republican-lite for two years.
John Puma
Since Democrats do not realize that their party has not existed since the rise of the DLC (late 80's), then why should Mr Brooks be faulted for not realizing that his Republican party disappeared in 2000 ?
Though there are still a few "old style" Dems or repubs, institutionally there is no party that cares about the people as much as they care about the money (corporate, top 1% or foreign).
Chris Hedges on the work of Sheldon Wolin, 17 May 2011 -- Video
http://podcast.lannan.org/2011/05/24/chris-hedges-on-the-work-of-sheldon-wolin-17-may-2011-video/
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