Third Man Consulting

Attention mid-level managers!

Has this ever happened to you?

You have a position that needs filling.

The department chair/boss/precinct captain/person-you're-not-so-secretly-schtupping-on-the-side has made it perfectly clear who you are supposed to hire if you want tenure/to-keep-your-job/a-future-in-politics/your-discreet-strange-on-the-side-to-continue. Nothing explicit of course -- this isn't kinder-care where we have to SPELL EVERYTHING OUT in primary colors -- but the contents of your one-person-short-list has been made clear enough to be read from orbit.

However, thanks to a pending-lawsuit/lawsuit-preempting-policy/court-decree, the effing HR Department has all these stupid rules about "competency" and "experience" and suchlike.

All of which boil down to the same thing: to stay out of court you have to ritually interview 3-4 candidates who --

1. Look great on paper but,
2. Who have no chance whatsoever of being hired before you give the job to the ringer;

You need to "past-post"the position, but to make it plausible you have to get the hopes up of people who are often hanging on by a thread, and then dump them with form letter email like the closing-time Nancy you took to the Covert Motel for a quick bit of "shovel ready" fun. Which -- let's face it -- no matter how sweet the career-payoff or how sublime the nookie, is still a nerve-jangling legal crapshoot every time.

So how can you be sure that, each and every time you need to churn and burn a handful of 40-something "Captain Dunsel"s to get to the nice, passive, go-alongster with the 50-word Buzzword Bingo vocabulary and the inside track your hands stay technically clean?

This is where Third Man Consulting swings into action.

As you know, the Great Recession has consigned hundreds of thousands of middle-aged workers with terrific resumes and stellar qualifications the scrap-heap of permanent under-employment. In another era, these people could count on their experience and expertise as their passport to every newer challenges and greater rewards, but that was long ago and far away, and these days those workers have finally learned that "experience" is just another word for "expensive" and "expertise" is just lawsuit-friendly language for "uppity".

And so, finally, exhausted and shorn of hope, they come to us, where they are rigorously screened and examined to insure that any vestigial notions of real future employment have been wiped away, which is how we can insure that all Third Man Consulting "applicants" who show up at your place of business for their "interview" will presentable, sweet-smelling and articulate but most importantly they walk in your door already knowing that there is no chance in Hell they are getting that job.

Based on Third Man Consulting's exclusive, industry-leading arrangement, within minutes of signing up at our Silver, Gold or Latinum service levels, you will have access to a steady stream of Potemkin candidate-meat -- a veritable petting zoo of the economically Left Behind -- guaranteed to head-fake your board, your auditors and that pesky federal judge into believing that you have satisfied your every legal obligation.

The future of employment in here, and you can either ride the Beast or get eaten by it.

Save yourself! Contact a trained Third Man Consulting customer encounterment procurist at 3rdmanconsulting AT gmail DOT com today.