Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Welcome Back My Friends

To the show that never ends.

From Yahoo News:

Miss. Confederate History Month ignores slavery

JACKSON, Miss. – Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour drew criticism for proclaiming April as Confederate Heritage Month without mentioning slavery, the second governor this month to come under fire for the omission.

Rep. Robert Johnson, D-Natchez, who is black, said Monday that people need to learn about the "abhorrent, violent, depraved actions of slavery."

Virginia's Republican governor, Bob McDonnell, also named April as Confederate History Month but his original proclamation didn't mention slavery. After coming under national criticism, McDonnell last week revised it to denounce slavery as "evil and inhumane."

Barbour, also a Republican who helped campaign for McDonnell last year, said Sunday on CNN that slavery was bad but a fuss over McDonnell's original proclamation "doesn't amount to diddly."

Barbour's office on Monday did not respond to a request by The Associated Press for a copy of his 2010 Confederate Heritage Month proclamation. The Rev. Cecil Fayard, chaplain in chief for the national Sons of Confederate Veterans, faxed a copy to AP.

The proclamation, signed March 15, said it is "important for all Americans to reflect upon our nation's past to gain insight from our mistakes and successes."

Fayard said he agrees with Barbour's proclamation, which called on Sons of Confederate Veterans and other groups to publicize the "rich heritage" of the Confederacy.

"The War Between the States was fought for the same reasons that the tea party movement today is voicing their opinion. And that is that you have large government that's not listening to the people, there's going to be heavy taxation," Fayard said Monday from his home in Duck Hill, Miss. "And the primary cause of the war was not slavery, although slavery was interwoven into the cause, but it was not the cause for the War Between the States."
Well, I happen to agree with Reverend Cecil Fayard, although in ways I am sure would not make him happy: The "War Between the States" (which I've got a feeling the good Reverend was simply aching to call "The War of Northern Aggression") was fucking-A fought for "the same reasons that the tea party movement today is voicing their opinion."

In fact, it is possible that accidentally truer words have never been spoken. Bigotry, wrapped in scripture, deep fried in coded language and served with a side of potato salad, sweet tea and near-hysterically belligerent denial has been a Southern delicacy for as long as I can remember, and these Republican good ol' boys and girls just ain't




giving up Momma's home cooking.

Even as it inflicts on them brain-cramping cases of cognitive dissonance so crippling that they lose the ability to distinguish between "rich heritage" and treason and terrorism.

I worried that I'd have to wear my lazy, liberal fingers out copying and pasting stuff like this and this, over (and over and over and over) again, but it turns out this guy does a bang-up job nailing all the right points will the right inflection.

Cue pubescent, gun-drunk Randites in full indignation-rut in 3...2...1...


Eric said...

It's Mississippi. It's a world apart. Go read their articles of seccession.

ed waldo (Hart Williams) said...

Haley the Barbourian has quite a track record for palling around with white supremacists.

In light of all this, and the new radical twist that the Sons of Confederate Veterans have taken, you’ll be thrilled, no doubt, to know that the SCV-owned “Jefferson Davis Presidential Library”—at whose rededication and ground breaking Gov. Haley Barbour was a featured speaker—was heavily damaged by Hurricane Katrina.

But not to worry. Its rehabilitation is being paid for with FEMA funds. Your tax dollars at work.

Grand re-opening is scheduled for August 2011. http://wp.me/p5dEo-208

Monster from the Id said...

This is the first time I've heard of this Frank guy.

Remember that alien mind-transfer device from the classically bad TOS Trek episode "Turnabout Intruder"?

I'd love to use it to put this guy's mind into Obama's body.

Failing that--Frank in '16!

Maybe better--Franken/Frank in '16! ^_^

skunqesh said...

"Franken/Frank" lolz! well played sir.

as for the
"Indignation Rut", isn't that just a spin on the old "Chicken Dance"?

LittlePig said...

Props for Brain Salad Surgery reference.

Anonymous said...

Y'know, one thing about that civil war that I've pondered on...

Slavery aside, even Ken Burns never did explain why the southern states had no _right_ to secede (other than: 'because we'll come down there and kick your ass, is why.')

Although I think that eventually we'd have had to come down and kick the ass even of a long-established foreign country who wouldn't give up slavery, the question of when a people has a right to declare an independent country wasn't really settled by the civil war, imo, and still isn't to this day, except by the tired, ragged old test of arms.

It was determined the other way in our own war of independence, of course. What even Lincoln's ultimate moral justification was for forcing a territory to remain under a particular government is mysterious me.

Which is a long preamble to the opinion ('it's satire, man') that, if Texas wants to secede, I kind of think we should let them.

In fact I'm so sick of that white-bread cracker horseshit down south dragging our economy, our politics and our culture into the gutter, that sometimes I wish we wouldn't wait for them to secede, but just kicked their asses out ourselves.

Sure, I'd miss New Orleans and Austin and Asheville, and certain bits of (mostly black or latino) culture, but is it really worth it? I mean, we could still listen to that good blues from over the border. And sure, we'd let a few of the 'good ones' immigrate, although we'd have to establish strict quotas on teabaggers (like none). Construct a strong border fence, I guess....

Surely you've seen the statistics on how much the south drains the northern economy. And God knows they've been dragging down our politics and progress a lot in the last, well, like, forever. Can we really afford to keep them, while the rest of the civilized world leaves us all behind?

So, this modest proposal: first, of course, an executive order moving all nuclear materials to northern locations. (Loose crackers with loose nukes - no fucking way.) Then another one cutting the crackers adrift. Voila. Secession from the south. Independence. Free at last.

Watch those vicious, pig-ignorant reactionaries sink into their self-made third-world evangelical ghetto, and see how well foreign aid and their pasty-white god keeps them going through their very own dark age.

Peace 'n love, y'all.

jose cuerpo said...

"Secede from the South"

Yeah, I like the sound of that. It would make a good bumper sticker.

Batocchio said...

Great stuff, thanks. It spurred me to write a loooong comment, which I think I'll just turn into a post instead.

US Blues said...

Sadly, instead of enforcing the Law during Reconstruction, and perhaps keeping some of this BS from lingering, the US Army was reassigned to genocide duty further West.

PS- Yes, Brain Salad Surgery- Karn Evil 9.

Serving Patriot said...

US Blues, let's not forget the Reconstruction ended ahead of schedule as part of the deal that ended that other great stolen Presidential election (1876 - Hayes v. Tilden).


Monster from the Id said...

Yes, my ass! Emerson, Lake, and Palmer!