This is not an over-sized pocket protector.
This is Apple's new Platomorphic Optical Shield.
It is a steal at $399.99.
You will need to buy this.
Right now.
You will need to buy this because, uh, something something petabytes of cool.
Something something provenance.
Something something lineage.
Something something mouth-feel.
Something something post-millennial design elements.
Something something peevish insouciance.
Without this,
your brand new iPad might as well be an IBM Selectric.
Covered in wet dog fur.
Smeared with pig dung.
Without this, no one will ever love you again.
Without this, your penis will fall off.
If you do not have a penis, you will grow one.
Out of your forehead.
And then it will fall off.
You will need to buy this.
Right now.
NowNowNowNowNowNowNowNowNow.
5 comments:
Dude, I beat you to it:
http://physioprof.wordpress.com/2010/04/03/fuck-the-ipad-and-the-ridiculous-douchebags-lining-up-to-buy-one/
And check out the Giant Massive Throbbing Blueberries:
http://physioprof.wordpress.com/2010/04/03/massive-throbbing-huge-motherfucking-blueberries/
Well, the iPod is pretty cool, the iPhone is lots of fun*, tho the AT&T network isn't very good.
2 out of 3 ain't bad.
Sometimes I think the success of Apple products is that they are FUN.
Wow, that's some harsh anti-Apple sentiment there. You're upset because Apple has a good marketing department? There must be something deeper going on. I'll quit before I'm tempted to go into amateur psychoanalysis.
Sold!
I wasn't going to buy the thing until you got to the part about my penis falling off. It so happens that I have deep-seated fears on that very topic, strange as that may seem.
So far, I've managed to keep the thing attached, but only by very conscientiously applying every known strategem to that end. Can't afford to miss a trick, so, at all likely to help the cause or not, I will acquire this product immediately. You can never be too careful.
What are the careers of people who can afford this thing these days (and how can I get started in said field?)
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