Obama Speech: Corrections and Updates

One correction to the President's fine speech this evening.

Republicans did not just suddenly throw "facts and reason" overboard.

Lee Atwater put "facts and reason" on the boat.

Newt Gingrich loaded the gun.

Tom DeLay rowed "facts and reason" out into the middle of Lago Maggiore.

Karl Rove put a bullet in its head.

Dick Cheney loaded stones into its pockets.

Mitch McConnell wrapped it in canvas.

Michelle Bachmann kicked the body into the water.

And John Boehner pissed on it as it sank below the waves.

Rush Limbaugh broadcast it to our troops around the world, live, on Armed Forces Radio,

Glenn Back drew a complex schematic showing that "facts and reason" were really sacrificed by the Aztecs in 1470 A.D. to Tezcatlipoca...who it turns out was secretly a Liberal.

All while 30 million Pig People cheered as loud as they could.

Mr. President, "facts and reason" didn't just go missing last week. "Facts and reason" were executed, brutally and publicly, every day for the last 25 years by the Party of God, and no speech or appeal to their better angels is going to pull them back from the abyss now.

Although I understand you had to try.

And it really was a very nice speech, after which came the crowd surfing, followed by a sacrificial lamb from Louisiana named Boustany.


UPDATE 1: The lowlight. lowlife counterpoint to President Obama's speech was Republican Congressman Joe "Joe The Flamer" Wilson, who pulled off the shortest job interview in human history in medias res:

Wilson: "You Lie!"

America’s Health Insurance Plans: "You're Hired!"

If nothing else, Congressman Joe Wilson must be commended on the sheer economy of his ratio of words-to-future-financial-benefit.

It makes "This is a stick up!" look positively verbose.


UPDATE 2: About 10 seconds after President Obama concluded his remarks, I got this mailer from perennial wingnut fundraiser Richard Viguerie who announced "Obamacare is Restarting the Conservative Movement".

It say's, in part...

"But at the same time, Obama is re-launching the conservative movement.

"Because President George W. Bush's administration and the Republicans in Congress abandoned conservative principles and massively expanded government, many grassroots conservatives and activists dropped out of politics..."

Allow me to translate:

Faced with having to defend our decision to fanatically support the Worst President in American history over his eight year reign of corruption, treason and catastrophe, at the 11th hour many of us "Conservatives" hurriedly spit Karl Rove’s dick out of our mouths, broke the Peter-denying-Christ land-speed record in swearing we’d never even heard of George W. Bush, and started calling ourselves “Independents”.

But now that there's a Black Man in the White House, we're back baby!