The real reason he doesn't have a birth certificate.
UPDATE: In the comments, Blue Gal says that she wants "...a birther to prove that Obama's mother's vagina was in Kenya in 1961."
BG, your confusion is understandable.
In fact anyone not familiar with the groundbreaking work that Michele Bachmann, Glenn Beck and Lou Dobbs have been doing in little-known field of advanced wingnut wormhole theory would probably be unaware that it has clearly been shown to be theoretically possible for someone to start off in one place (say, Hawaii) and pop out of some extra terrestrial hoo-ha as a baby in a whole 'nother place (say, Kenya),
provided they have been exposed to some big, black, sinister alien thingie
that first appears in Africa!
Or that even under the more-obscure Birther "Theory Of Special Relatives", it has been proven that a less expensive and Kubricky, "Quantum Freep" timejump effect
is still possible.
They're on to us, people!
6 comments:
Ooohhh that's some mad skilz there again, you betcha.
I really want a birther to prove that Obama's mother's vagina was in Kenya in 1961. They seem to have missed that part.
How about "He's a composite clone created by Dr. Howard Dean from the DNA of Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Winston Churchill, William Jennings Bryan, Demosthenes and other great orators. There was supposed to be some of Cicero's DNA too, but we couldn't get any, so we used Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson's. This may constitute a weakness."
My father died on June 10th, but his death certificate was not issued until July 16th. Does that mean, by Birther logic, that he wasn't really dead those five weeks? Did we cremate a living body? Are his ashes also undead? Or, by super-duper-birther logic was he dead only five weeks, and reanimated when the death certificate was issued? The document was obviously the result of a massive government cover up because the medical examiner's office botched the time and cause of death. I'm so confused.
Please. If Barack Obama had been born in Kenya to an AMERICAN MOTHER, he's still a fucking citizen.
No facts will persuade people who aren't interested in facts, they are just making a smear. They can't say Nigger, so they say Kenyan. They can't say Mulatto, so they say Muslim. The fact that he is the offspring of a white woman and a black man must give them nightmares.
For the first time I have to say fuck you DG. You made me drop that last tab of acid I was saving for my birthday. Shit. Now I'm going to be up watching The Wall and stanley kubrick movies for the next three days. Actually... not a bad way to spend three days.
i dont think i have laughed this hard in a long long time
you owe me a keyboard, i cannot get the coffee out of it
you know this is the perfect 2001 - we have a lot of monkeys (yes monkeys, call me racist) like beck and limbaugh ) jumping around a stone.....
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