Monday, April 20, 2009

Sunday Morning Comin’ Down


An Embarrassment of Riches Embarrassment of Rich Idiots.

Just a quick shot and a beer as I have to run off, but Oh My Lord, did John “Rusty Weepenheim” Boehner -- the Leader of the Republican Congressional Monkey House -- really respond to a question “This Week” about global climate change by saying (rough transcript):

George, the idea that carbon dioxide is a carcinogen that is harmful to our environment is almost comical. Every time we exhale, we exhale carbon dioxide. Every cow in the world, you know, when they do what they do, you've got more carbon dioxide. ”


Yes. Yes he did.

A partial list of other things The Boner also failed to mention are not carcinogenic?

Taking an axe to the head.
Defenestration from the top of the St. Louis arch.
Being hit by a meteor the size of Texas.
Falling into a car crusher.
An RPG up the poop cute.
Licking a nuke as it goes off.
Torture.
Arsenic ice cream with a medical waste compote.
Wearing a long scarf while driving an open roadster.
Airplanes crashing into office buildings.
Launching a space shuttle in freezing weather.
Guillotining.
Crucifixion.
Giving the tailpipe on a running Delta 88 an extended blowjob in a locked garage.
Pirates.

It’s a long list.

Then some tiny emergency switch clearly went off in The Boner's big, sweaty, orange gourd as it slooooowly dawned on him that using his “indoor wingnut crazy” voice in front of the cameras wasn’t such a good idea.

So he went to Plan B: Vacillating like a college Republican suddenly surrounded by Army recruiters, he allowed as how the question of whether or not global warming exists was open to discussion, but that all the Dirty Fucking Hippy ideas about how to keep the Earth from melting would probably cost money.

George Stephanopoulos: Well, then what is the fucking answer?

Boner: I think everyone in America is looking for the answer to that question.

driftglass: Yes, but not everyone in America is the leader of one of our two major political parties, which exist precisely to grapple with and come up with solutions to exactly these sorts of problems, are they?

On taxes...

Boner: You can’t borrow and spend your way to prosperity!

Stephanopoulos: But millions of people pay nothing in taxes, and millions more pay a pittance.

Boner: No! Everybody is horribly, horribly overtaxed all the time. You can go out and explain your Socialist Manifesto to the hundreds of thousands of toe-picking imbeciles who showed up where Fox News told them to show up and rambled on in patriotically incoherent ignorance about Big Gummint and Hitler and Kenya and Takin’ Mah Guns and Stuff.

Heroes! Heroes, all!

Honestly, other than watching the final reel of “Flowers for Algernon” in ultrafast-motion, until today didn’t think it was possible to observe a person to become visibly more dim-witted in real time. But this dun-colored heap of moist stupid has proven me wrong.

Later, on Peggy Noonan holds forth on the subject of torture, explaining that:
Sometimes history should just keep on walkin’.


And
These are not issues that people should be “issuing papers on”.

And
Sometimes life should be mysterious.


While over on “Meet the Press” , Dick Armey -- who, for those who don't remember, didn’t drink the wingnut 1990s Kool Aid; he ran the factory -- made little, crazy oinking noises.

Eight years of ruling the world -- of getting every fucking thing they ever dreamed of -- has left American Conservatives with an eight-year legacy of reeking failure and treason hanging around their necks, and a leadership made up of laughably obsolete 90s retreads, Hate Radio scumbags, acid-blown goofs, outright lunatics and weeping, spray-tan idiots.

All of whom very likely make more in a week that you’re going to make all year.

10 comments:

Cirze said...

Thanks, Dg,

I'm glad I'm not the only one noticing such:

Honestly, other than watching the final reel of “Flowers for Algernon” in ultrafast-motion, until today didn’t think it was possible to observe a person to become visibly more dim-witted in real time. But this dun-colored heap of moist stupid has proven me wrong.And it's no accident.

Russ Baker in Family of secrets: The Bush Dynasty, the Powerful Forces That Put It In the White House, and What Their Influence Means for Americasays that GWHB practiced this obfuscation technique down to a polished pearl sheen all his life: dummying up whenever called on about what he was obviously involved in after his college CIA Skull & Bones connections started him off on the path formerly greased by his Daddy (Zapata Oil-Dresser Industries installing dictators in Central-South America/JFK-RFK assassinationS/Nixon tape exposure to pave way for Reagan's Morning in America skit/Iran-Contra weapon sales, so many more/so little time) - a skill passed down to his clever, unschooled, but very well-educated son - the Presidential candidate so necessary to the successful culmination of the rightwing plans that it was no problem to bribe members of the Supreme Court after having very simply seduced the MSM en masse with some extra cash.

It's a CIA (OSS-inspired but probably Nazi-formulated) tactic known to all intel chappies who work for those who reap the benefits.

E. Howard Hunt's (who was recruited to the CIA by William F. Buckley) book American spy: My Secret History in the CIA, Watergate, and beyond tells a lot about this to his rightwing readers.


But whatever. No one's even interested enough in these momentous exposures (written by people who want you to learn about it) to read the books.

More Faux Noise, anyone?

S

WereBear said...

How obviously stupid do they have to get before the even stupider quit falling for it?

There has to be some kind of Idiot Horizon.

karen marie said...

somebody just kill me now, please?

i'm not sure how much more i can take before i go mad.

The Obama Dress said...

Thank you for your bravery in pointing out the corruption and savagery of these so called "Free Speech Advocates". They are all terrorists, or at least 86.7% of them. You are truly a prophet. A prophet of the blogosphere.

MichelleObama Dresses

HelloDollyLlama said...

Perhaps Bush, Boehner and the like represent the bitter, ferocious, Masada-like last stand of the Neanderthals, against the onslaught of the smarter Cro-Magnons.

Hef said...

Only YOU would have an Isadora Duncan reference. We named our first cat after her, so she has a special place in our hearts. Anyhoo...I'm quickly arriving at the conclusion that all of this catastrophic insanity we're witnessing has all been thoroughly planned out by our financial betters and we're going to be left twisting in the shitstorm of their making. We can see the bottom hurtling towards us and we're just too tired of it all to care. What the hell does it take?

Phil said...

The Rule of Law, Justice for all, blah blah blah.


Fuck this noise.
Kumbah yah everybody, nothing to see here, we are still tapping your phones and Emails, chill out, we got this shit under control.
You!
Get back in line or I will tazer yer ass.

Fucking horseshit.

satch said...

Those three lines from Peggy Noonan would have been gobsmackingly reprehensible coming from anyone, but they were delivered in that unctuous tone that only The Pegster can manage. I hope that little sequence is put up on YouTube...it deserves a million hits.

Rehctaw said...

Imagine the "success" any individual would have issuing the following statement:

We have stopped beating our children, kicked our addictions and will from this day forward walk the straight and narrow path.

Unless you grant us absolution of past acts, fuggetabutit and move on, you prevent us from addressing the more acute problem of our eating habits, finances and mistreatment of animals, but don't look for prosecutions for the criminal acts committed there either. We've moved beyond that now.

We're just gonna take a mulligan and start from scratch. Think how much better things will be with a clean slate.

Lotsa harm, lotsa fouls but that was then, this is now. Stop looking back. It's time to move forward....

Yeah that'd fly.

Gay Veteran said...

Peggy Noonan [on torture]: "Sometimes history should just keep on walkin’."

or you could just put your fingers in your ears so you don't have to hear the screaming

fucking harpy