it was never simply that the Bush Administration was packed to the rafters with liars, traitors, looters and imbeciles.
It was that after being comprehensively sold out, fucked over and left to die by their Dear Leader, we live in a country where millions and millions and millions of Americans could still watch as this smirking waterhead
stumbled from failure to war crime to catastrophe -- pausing occasionally to squat down over a copy of the Geneva Convention and light his beer farts with a burning Constitution -- and scream themselves hoarse that Yes! Yes! Holy Mother of God, Yes!
THIS is the guy we want!
Because they are children. Fucking blood-drunk children that no opalescent strand of magic words will ever coax out of the Stupid Tree.
They are the reason Rush Limbaugh will pocket nearly one-third of a billion dollars over the duration of his next contract instead of being found hanging in the Men’s Room of a failed Cape Girardeau used car lot with a note pinned to his plaid blazer blaming “the damned Negroes”.
They are the ones who sell their kids deeper into economic slavery every year. Who castrate themselves with a dull bread knife at the polls every single election cycle, and then spend the next two years whining that Dirty Libruls make their pee-pees hurt.
They are the reason we’re all in for three more months of the “If You Love Tire Gauges So Much Why Don't You Just Marry One!”
Campaign of 2008.
If you were waiting for the the Main Event – where grownups sit and reason together over the great issues of the day -- tear up your tickets and spark up that fatty in the parking lot on the way out, pard, because there ain’t gonna be no show.
Because, Senator Obama, its not “like these guys take pride in being ignorant”
It is that these angry little wads of dumb are absolutely peacock proud of their shiny , impenetrable rind of real ignorance and Fake Jebus, which is why the conversation will never ascend to a genuine debate over real positions on real issues. Because as effectively as they have been trained-seal conditioned at oinking out with perfect certainty that Barack Hussein Obama is “Ultra Left”, they don’t have the first fucking clue what your positions are.
Time and again the Left fails to run these fuckers into the ground because we seem almost congenitally unable to understand that the Right isn’t remotely interested in matters of policy. Or strategy. Or facts. Or causality.
They are moved to action by none of that Liberal crap.
What gets their filthy hearts pounding and tiny hooves clattering is being handed someone they can despise and blame for their misery and fear, and in Barack Hussein Obama they now have someone eminently hateable for that oldest and most reliable of sins. Envy. They loathe him because he is better than they are.
Purely and simply better. At everything.
Kinder too.
Has a better job.
Has a sweeter ride.
Better dental.
Better jump shot.
Better abs.
Smarter than they are.
Hotter wife. Waaaay hotter wife.
Has made more of his life than they have.
Worked his way through better schools.
Has a better resume.
Knows the Bible better than they do.
Can stand in front of 200,000 people and not shit himself in terror.
Pays his bills.
Keeps his yard neat.
In other words, he’s Ned Fucking Flanders, and the half of this country that laughs at Homer Simpson forgets at its peril that the other half of this country is Homer Simpson.
Oh, and he’s black.
And the concept of a Black Ned Flanders who is also unrepentantly competent, confident, proud, and successful enough to be President is, for our many unsalvageably failed fellow citizens on the Right, the single most horrifying idea imaginable.
Worse than Frankenstein or Doctor No.
Which is why some variation on this little tune -- played ever louder with every passing week --
is going to be the GOP theme song from now until the polls close on November 4, 2008.
Others participating in this remembrance include:Sinfonian at Florida Progressive
Tengrain at Mock, Paper, Scissors
Enigma4ever at Watergate Summer
¡El Gato Negro! at Online Blogintegrity
Dan at Fitness For The Occasion
American Street
12 comments:
Ned Flanders, the idiot of of our lives on a cartoon show.
He's the model for Obama?
Cuz, like, they BOTH got more shit than I do?
And like, Ned and Obama are somehow linked?
I guess I'm missin it . . .
I'll just call shit for what it is, and Ned is crap and Obama, a big disappointment at this point.
And the 1% continue to game us all . . . .
I just don't see your point, Drifty . . .
And that ain't often . . .
Frankly, to worry about how Ned Flanders and Obama match up or don't match up, is kinda puffy poodle like, given the issues we got to hammer out if we want to survive.
But hey, it's YOUR site . . .
Harumph.
Lemme leave ya and all yer readers with a bit of history and great fucking writing and music:
http://www.metrolyrics.com/horse-soldier-horse-soldier-lyrics-corb-lund.html
Fuck Ned Flanders . . . .
Actually I think Ned Flanders is a good foil for Obama, in that he may come across as too perfect and sanctimonious for the Simpsonites to "relate to". Personality, not policy, always wins the day. But even still, McCain is such a doofus. Such. A. Doofus.
Well put Drifty. Again, you see right through the former 27%
"They loathe him because he is better than they are."
Exactly. & they can't afford to debate real issues, because they know that's a fight they can't win.
Instead they go into childish bully games while they continue to steal from future generations.
Peace!
Drift,
You've put your finger on arguably the ugliest trait of humanity; the trait of the animal in man which leads him to want to insult and even physically assault that which he cannot spiritually attain or intellectually achieve. In the half-civilized, there still lurks an evil brutality which seeks to vent itself upon those who are superior in wisdom and spiritual attainment.
Black Flanders? I don't watch enough Simpsons to really know. But Obama is certainly a leader with the wisdom and insight to ignite the ugly brutality I mention in the angry little wads of dumb you mention.
Remember to pray.
Drifty, you nailed it -- that's exactly what the Reps are doing -- trying to turn Obama into Flanders.
The obvious question is, how to push back?
One way to push back is for Obama to inspire his people -- talk about healthcare, ways to reduce gas consumption through well-inflated tires, the bad state of the economy and wonky things to do about it like raising the minimum wage (these things may sound Flander-esque to properly trained Reps, but to people really hurting, not so much). Obama increases Dem turnout, Obama wins.
If the Reps frame this as "Obama is the black Flanders" it may work to keep spiteful Reps from voting for Obama, but it doesn't give them a reason to vote for McCain. Reps may very well stay home.
I think a big difference between 08 and 04 is that in 04 the hard right had something to excite them (various strategically placed ballot initiatives, keeping with the guy they voted for in 00, etc...). The Reps may have taken their number one strategy (depress turnout!) and inadvertently turned it on themselves, this time they may end up just depressing Reps.
And nothing is better for Obama than a bunch of depressed Reps!
That gawdawful Miers woman looks as though she's about to rearrange Shrub's dick.
Perhaps that was the ultimate issue. 'Harriet....... touched me.......Yum!'
'Whaa docummenn.........'
hey baby,
you got the Hunter S. Thompson Gonzo Award for 2008, slam dunk.
As Mozz said, "we hate it when our friends become successful..."
Right on, Farhender!
I'm reading William McKeen's Outlaw Journalist - Life and Times of Hunter S. Thompson (who is one of my most sacred heroes) and thought I'd come across another chapter in his annals when I read this essay.
Brilliant and dead-on as usual, Dg!
Carry on.
Suzan
Welcome-to-Pottersville2: Hang Down Your Head, Jean Duley (Exposer of Bruce Ivins)
why 8/6/01 PDB Day ain't Article One of 1,205 articles of impeachment i have a hard time explaining to my kids.
because to tell them the truth would crush their spirits and end their belief in america.
aces, dg.
Driftglass:
Just came across your blog, in general it has good form and a visual sense which support your POV, however I must take issue with your consistent use of Obama's middle name (well, at least it is not capitalized), What is your problem, man? On the one hand you are clearly anti-Bush and McCain, but on the other hand you have some need to subtly point out a clear falsehood. The problem with people like you is that you cannot accept the possibility that someone with a cross cultural background could be qualified to lead a nation on the brink of collapse, when in fact the US of A needs to get over itself in the most desperate way; make room for those with a different background and perspective other than Wonder Bread. If Obama's middle name were "Charles", would that change your mind one iota? The facts and events of the 2008 Primary season clearly tell us that he in fact *is not a muslim* and WTF even if he were should that even make a difference? Muslim's worldwide outnumber Jesus Freaks by at least 2 to 1. Let's suppose Obama was a self-professed atheist, would that make a difference? You might reply, "of course it would!, what, a man without faith wants to be commander of our sinking vessel?" To which I would respond, "Look at the current Jesus Freak in charge, whom vowed to create his 'own reality', and led us down a path of utter self implosion starting on 9/11/01."
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