Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Chinese Olympic Officials Admit


the “Basra Leg” of the 85,000-mile Olympic Torch Marathon could have been “better handled.”

“Look” said one spokesman on condition of anonymity, “this route was planned years ago. And your President begged us to run the damn thing through Iraq.

“Begged.

“He told us we could import children’s toys into your country made out of roofies and rat shit. Lead-paint-dipped pacifiers. Botulicious Cat Treats. “Depleted Uranium Barbie”.

“I mean he promised things that’d make a Thai eel-show hooker puke, because he said he absolutely had to have some big-ass, televised world-wide symbol of how peaceful his New Iraq was going to be.

“How all of this ‘insurgency’ and ‘quagmire’ stuff we were hearing was all just trash-talk coming from your dirty fucking hippies.

“And frankly, we just could not imagine that even your President Fucknozzle could actually fuck up a war he said he’d already won!

“So, hey, all 1.2 billion of us are realdamnsorry if none of your people bothered to tell us that your six-week cakewalk war was going to run 100 years, but we sent a ‘last and final’ memo in to Rummy and Rice in 2004, and they swore that, by Summer 2008, Iraq would an Ayn Randtopia of zero taxes, docile slave labor, privatized everything.

"All afloat on an ocean of cheap oil.’

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dude.

Fran / Blue Gal said...

Well, it's true: John McCain and Joe Lieberman met that torch bearer lady last month at the Baghdad Baker's Square. She was having the Strawberry "Chevron Oil Tanker" Pie.

Unknown said...

Nice to see your fond memory of us "trash-talking dirty fucking hippies," DG.

Those were the days!

“How all of this ‘insurgency’ and ‘quagmire’ stuff we were hearing was all just trash-talk coming from your dirty fucking hippies.

Suzan

Welcome to Pottersville


___________________

Anonymous said...

Not to worry; mere "tactical mistakes"...Macht nicht.

The strategerie was sheer genius.

Phil said...

Nice picture.
Sometimes I wonder where in the hell your mind goes when it's off the leash.
I probly don't wanna know.
I was thinking I might have bumped into you several years ago at an underground workshop on how to tastefully decorate your home and business with the bones of fascist sympathizers, but that couldn't have been you, that was in Frisco.

Anonymous said...

BKnucks, it's The City. Not Frisco. Never. Ever. *G*

Frisco is what hicks who go there from the midwest for Fleet Week call it. *G*

Drifty-you coulda used today's SF scene's for your image, and it woulda been the same rant! *G*

I'm with BKnucks-where DOES yer mind go. How you DO that, sohn? ;-)

Phil said...

Larue,
It's The City all right, the city of NO LEFT TURNS!
I commuted between San Jose and San Francisco every day for a couple of years, on a motorcycle.
I know about The City, and South City, San Bruno, all of that mess.
My folks lived in San Mateo.
I did service calls on construction equipment, in "The City".
I don't miss it a bit.

Lovely little vision they have created though, if yer from the Mid West.
Lol.

Anonymous said...

Knuckles, B,

I've never seen any evidence whatsoever that DGlass even owns a "leash". . .
let alone wears the damned thing.
But then, I'm still in Free Clinic therapy because he ignores the Chicago manual of Style.
~I kid. I'm a kidder.~