Sunday Morning Comin’ Down – Part 1 of 3

The fast and dirty.

On Meet the Press CIA director Michael Hayden, New York Times' Bobo Brooks and New Republic's Peter Beinart each remind us in his own way that, among the Villagers it doesn’t matter how wrong you were, how often, or how frequently you got your block knocked off.

You just push the Flying Head back and you’re ready for Round Three!

On “Face the Nation”

That Earth Hour thingie must have been far more powerful than I ever thought it could be, because during last night, while I was not paying attention, the Iraq War apparently ended, the housing and credit crises passed over us, and gas dropped back down to mid-90s prices.

Because this morning the fact that there is a lady name “Hillary” and a black man named “Barack” running for the nomination of the Democratic Party is the only news left on the face of the Earth.

On “Fox News Sunday”

Lindsay Graham: Iraq is really Iran. And if we adopt the Clinton/Reed/Obama/Pelosi/Benedict Arnold approach to Operation Endless Clusterfuck, we might as well hand America’s nuclear launch codes over to Osama bin Laden.

Jack Reed: No, we need to proceed with a careful and orderly withdrawal from Iraq. And the idea that this is a fight between American allies and Iran is bullshit. All elements of the government – the government that we back – have ties to Iran. Shit, just a few weeks ago Ahmadinejad came to Iraq and was warmly greeted by our Iraqi Puppet President.

Lindsay Graham then angrily shook his head and wept piteously into a flowery hanky the size of a mainsail.

Graham: Liar! Liar! Everything is awesome and turned completely around and great you liar. We’re havin’ elections. The Iraqi economy is rockin’. The Surge is workin’.

Reed: Last month The Surge was “succeeding” because violence was down. Today the same people say The Surge is awesome because violence is up and rockets are slamming into the Green Zone.

Shorter Graham: Our puppet government and uniformed gangs are getting their nads kicked off by other people’s proxies and un-uniformed gangs.

Graham then repeated the word “Iran” six thousand more times, ran in circles until he got tired and then fell down crying.

And out there in the heartland, a million stubby hands clenched around a million cans of warm Pabst Blue Ribbon.

A million members of the Great Wad growled “Fucking Iran! Fucking Liberals!”

And then called for Ma to bring them more fucking pancakes.

Then someone calling themselves Phil Bredsen – allegedly Tennessee’s Democrat governor who for some reason Fox has anointed as Party Spokesman in the same way they have anointed Juan Williams and Alan Combs as the Fox House Liberals -- talks about the Democratic primary race.

“Closure.”

“Healing.”

Yawn.


On “This Week”

Ed Rendell and John Kerry.

Rendell confesses that he cannot remember what he did last Monday.

Other than that, it was McTeevee: heat-lamped junk food the sole sales point of which is always being exactly what you would thought it would be.

Sucks, and bad for you, but familiar.

Later, Lieberman came on to shame himself further, but does anyone but the Connecticut ass-voles who elected him, and the GOP Party Planners who are going to let him sit at their Grownup’s Table in Minnesota give a shit what Kapo Joe has to say about anything anymore?

On ”The Chris Matthews Show”

To get the Big Race Par-tay started over on his show, Chris Matthews shows off his astonishingly poor judgment and complete tone-deafness yet again, leading his show off by jamming Martin Luther King’s 40-year-old “Mountain top” speech given just prior to his assassination -- along with various footage the reporting done just after Dr. King’s murder – flush up against a Barack Obama speech and basically asking “Well?”

Shorter Matthews: Too bad they killed that other colored fella who talked so purdy, but hey, now you got dis guy!

End Part 1 of 3