Sometimes the Gods of Editorial Synchronicity

conspire to offer up certain, irresistible syllogisms.

Like this one, from this morning’s “Yahoo News” round-up.

The Major Premise: Fastest Way Up Hills: Zigzag

Fastest Way Up Hills: Zigzag
Andrea Thompson
LiveScience Staff Writer
SPACE.comFri Feb 22, 6:25 AM ET

A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but on a steep slope, a zigzagging path is the fastest way to go, a new study confirms.

On flat terrain, a straight line is typically still the best way to get from point A to point B. But climbing up a steep hill is a whole different ballgame; the mechanics and energy costs of walking up a hill alter the way we negotiate the landscape.

"You would expect a similar process on any landscape, but when you have changes in elevation it makes things more complicated," said study author Marcos Llobera of the University of Washington. "There is a point, or critical slope, where it becomes metabolically too costly to go straight ahead, so people move at an angle, cutting into the slope. Eventually they need to go back toward the direction they were originally headed and this creates zigzags. The steeper the slope, the more important it is that you tackle it at the right angle."
…

The Minor Premise: Ohio, Texas uphill climbs for Clinton

Ohio, Texas uphill climbs for Clinton

By CALVIN WOODWARD, Associated Press Writer 14 minutes ago

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's must-win states of Ohio and Texas are no cakewalk for her, largely because independents and crossover Republicans are welcome to vote in their Democratic primaries.

The political calendar of late winter has been less than kind to the embattled presidential contender, who once figured that a big day in early February would affirm her march to the presidential nomination and the rest would be icing.

Instead, it's been slippery ice at every turn, and Ohio and Texas contests on March 4 matter greatly, crucial tests in her big-state fallback strategy.

The field in both states could be tilted to Sen. Barack Obama, despite Clinton's presumed advantage among some voting groups and long-held if diminished leads in the states' opinion polls.

Obama has displayed strengths dating to January among different voting groups that would normally be in tension with each other, and his drawing power has become more pronounced in his 11-contest winning streak heading into March 4.

The Illinois senator has mobilized his party's left wing, a big help in caucus races where party activists and fired-up newbies are key. And he's drawn crossover Republicans and independents to primaries in which they are allowed to vote.

Ohio and Texas make it easy for them to do so. If they do, it could boost Obama's vote.
…

The Conclusion will be left as a problem for the class, but someone on the “Yahoo News” post-up brigade is having waaay too much pure geek fun for this early on a Saturday.

And I’m glad it’s a grueling, uphill slog.

Damned glad.

Why?

Because this is just the warm-up.

The undercard.

If Senator Clinton can fight her way off the mat and win, fine. But if she goes down, she needs to go down swinging.

Because this is just batting practice.

These are just the time trials.

I genuinely pity McCain for not having a Mittens or a Mayor 9iul1an1 to spar with through the Spring.

I mean, have you noticed how much better and sharper Senator Obama has gotten?

How much of the scripted, stilted nonsense Senator Clinton has been forced to shed? How much tighter her message has become?

I have my preferences, but for the purpose of this post they are not relevant.

What is relevant is that my candidate comes out of the primary process born again hard.

Comes out sweated down to gristle and fangs and stink, fast as hell, with a strategy to win from the top of the ticket right down to committeeman and county treasurer.

Comes out like a Fury on a mean drunk with a roll of nickels in each fist to protect my Constitution and my Supreme Court, my Treasury and my Military, my Civilization, my Jesus and my Good Name from one more miserable day of giggling evisceration at the hands of blood-drunk lunatics and power-drunk blackshirts.

Comes out ready and eager to wade though body-blow after body-blow and put these fuckers down.


Down for the count.