"But I didn't know until this day,

that it was...Judas...all along."

The Lamb of God has apparently made yet another Ambulatory Christopathic Cyst an offer he can’t refuse.

Roberts Says God Forced His Resignation

By JUSTIN JUOZAPAVICIUS
The Associated Press

Thursday, November 29, 2007; 8:04 AM

TULSA, Okla. -- Richard Roberts told students at Oral Roberts University that he did not want to resign as president of the scandal-plagued evangelical school, but that he did so because God insisted.

God told him on Thanksgiving that he should resign the next day, Roberts told students in the university's chapel on Wednesday.

"Every ounce of my flesh said 'no'" to the idea, Roberts said, but he prayed over the decision with his wife and his father, Oral Roberts, and decided to step down.

Roberts said he wanted to "strike out" against the people who were persecuting him, and considered countersuing, but "the Lord said, 'don't do that,'" he said.

After submitting his resignation, he said, for "first time in 60 days peace came into my heart."

Roberts spoke for only a few minutes and was applauded and cheered by students. He wiped away tears with a white handkerchief and his hands.

"This has nearly destroyed my family, and it's nearly destroyed ORU," Roberts said.

A lawsuit accuses Roberts of lavish spending at a time when the university faced more than $50 million in debt, including taking shopping sprees, buying a stable of horses and paying for a daughter to travel to the Bahamas aboard the university jet.

Roberts has previously said that God told him to deny the allegations. The week the lawsuit was filed, Richard Roberts said that God told him: "We live in a litigious society. Anyone can get mad and file a lawsuit against another person whether they have a legitimate case or not. This lawsuit ... is about intimidation, blackmail and extortion."

On Wednesday, Roberts said God told him he would "do something supernatural for the university" if he stepped down from the job he held at the 5,700-student school since 1993.

…

Roberts remains the CEO of the Oral Roberts Evangelistic Association and remains a "spiritual regent" who cannot vote on university matters.
…

How dare these people?

How fucking dare they?

Pimping out the Prince of Peace as a button man whenever someone decides to teach Science instead of Bronze Age superstition.

"If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God," (Pat) Robertson said Thursday on "The 700 Club," a television show he hosts on The Christian Broadcasting Network. "You just rejected him from your city, and don't wonder why he hasn't helped you when problems begin."

The Holy Knee-Breaker whenever some Christopath Reverend Doctor runs out of folding money.

A queer-hater. A cross-burner. A Nazi. Reptile-blooded executioner. The wingnuts have a thousand costumes in their filthy dungeon with which they tart up the Prince of Peace and whore him out for money, votes or power.

And when they’re caught, cold, with their hands in the till, or their dick in a rent boi?

Instead of manning up and owning their Big Time pooch screwery, they suddenly come over all Persecuted Martyr who are only leaving the stage because their BFF Jebus texted them Special Invisible Instructions.

Cowering behind Scripture in exactly the same way Dubya cowers behind the Military.

And the thing is, even after all of that – decade after decade after surreal decade filled with Big Haired Slunkmeat Bible Molesters -- I don’t despise them.

I really don’t.

I despise the irredeemable, ineducable, dumbass legions of this country that blindly follow them, believe in them, vote as they are told, and hate as they are told.

Who will gleefully follow their false prophets and demagogues to war, to ruin and, eventually, to global annihilation.

In a civilized nation -- one where the 27%-ers are shunned instead of pandered-- these Post Modern Elmer Gantrys would be nothing but another clutch of public transit Bible Screamers: spurned and perhaps pitied by decent citizens and driven off with flung curses and pocket change.

This is exactly why the whole of the Right -- from their “Fuck Everyone But Me” ideology to their degenerate perversion of genuine Christianity -- ultimately cannot be saved.

We cannot co-exist; in the end, they and all of their meatheaded darkness need to be electorally and culturally bulldozed into a pit and covered with quicklime.

Because neither our generous nation nor the Christian faith will ever be safe until people like this are considered a joke.

A bad joke.

A memory of a bad joke.

And cause generations yet unborn to wonder how in the world the scum of Old America turned a pretty good faith

into this.



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Leftovers.

It turns out I Photoshopped too much pie for this post, so I have a little extra.

So I'll make you a plate.

Do you need one for your Mom too? And Aunt Roselyn? And how is she doing?

Now mind the roads and be safe gettin' home.

From the apex of a New Sistine Chapel, a meditation on the basic relationship between the Christopath

and his Thug God.