Why I Read Susie Bright

Because (in a phrase partially and shamelessly pinched from Robert Olin Bulter) she pans gold from the laughing streams of strange and beautiful mountains, and invariably comes up with nuggets the size of the nads on the Great Bull Of Heaven.

Like this impeccable and singularly urban meditation on “31 Things About the Neighbor Who Fucks Too Much” from ebogjonson.

Which begins thusly…

1. You and your live-in girlfriend are pretty high on your sexual high-horses until you realize that in the loft next door is one of those neighbors who fucks too much.

2. You figure you and your lady have a sex life that is the cat's pajamas until you start keeping tabs on the neighbor who fucks too much.

3. It's a little embarrassing riding the elevator with a neighbor who fucks too much just after she's been, like, fucking.

4. It's a little annoying when one of the many guys the neighbor who fucks too much is fucking knocks on your door at 2:00 AM. Coming or going, you wonder. He is drunk enough to be either.

5. You are grudgingly impressed that anyone that drunk is able to fuck a neighbor who fucks too much.

6. The neighbor who fucks too much is white. You are not. You want to make something out of that fact, but keep coming up dry."
…

And rides on to glory.

So follow this link back to her den of, well, equity for more exquisite prose…

…and plunge onward to Gary Dauphin’s site to read all about the remaining 25 Things.

And as a Special!Bonus!Offer! (again h/t to Susie) follow this link for the answer to the eternal question: "Should I Use Blackface on my Blog?"

It is a gen-u-wine masterpiece.