Sunday Morning Comin’ Down – Part I

In which the Great Clinton Media Pincer Movement shows even more leg.

As we Watched and Waited for waves and waves of impartial and evenhanded outrage to be unleashed.

Because -- and I don’t know you were aware of this -- but over one fucking ad run on one fucking day by MoveOn, wingnuts have spent weeks running around in shrieking circles, pissing napalm, taking up taxpayer time and money to pass seething, condemnatory resolutions, and setting the MSM’s nuts on fire demanding that the issue be blobbed up into an agenda- and airtime-consuming story of treachery Worse!Than!Eleven!Hiters!Hitlers!

Demanding that every Dem within microphone range be forced to either denounce MoveOn as the devil’s own spawn, or be forever tarred as a terrr’ist-luvin’ bin Laden-symp.

And since the Jello-vertebraed MSM has spent 20 years gelding and domesticating themselves into teacup poodles who say “How High!” whenever Neocons or Christopaths say “Jump!” they went obligingly along.

Well now the smoke and “the horror, the horror” has cleared and three things have been revealed with perfect clarity:

First, somehow, miraculously, the Republic has survived the unprecedented atrocity of a political organization exercising its First Amendment rights.

Yay us!

But it was a near thing.

Two, there are still far too many bought-off pussy Democrats who need to be electorally roachbombed out of the Congress.

And three, with his usual, flawless timing, Wingnut Vole Man Number One stomped right into the middle of the GOP’s faux outré and right onto their collective dicks by publicly slandered as “Phony Soldiers” anyone in uniform who doesn’t toe the Neocon line on Iraq.

So of I course, as if t’were a Fair and Balanced Christmas morn, waited by the teevee machine for all of the obedient MSM MoveOn motherfloggers to speak out in identically outraged terms.

To ask Republicans if they would now denounce Rush Limbaugh.

To ask if they were, even now, preparing Angry Resolutions that would, perhaps, read something like this…

And I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

On “Face the Nation”

Bob Schieffer talked to Bill Richardson.

And I moved on down the road

On “Fox News Sunday”

SCHIP merriment with Chuck Schumer as the voice crying in the Fox wilderness, and Trent Lott trying to out slowdrawl Fred Thompson.

Schumer: We have a tempered, moderate bill to help poor children get health insurance.

Lott: Yee haw!

Schumer: Fuck you.

Lott: Y’know, the President, he’s gonna whatchacall “veto” it. Ah say, ah say, boy, tha’ means y’all gonna hafta roll ovah and give him what he wants.

Ah say, tha’s how the system wuhks; the Imperial Wizard President says what he wants done, and y’all do it.

Tha’s called duhmockracy.

Schumer: This is a bipartisan bill. And if the President wants to negotiate, then let him propose something. We haven’t heard a single fucking peep out of him. No ideas. No policy. Just booga-booga Here Comes Socialized Med’cine! and I’m going to veto it.

Lott: Y’know this all heah is typical Washington bait and switch.

Senator Foghorn Leghorn Lott and Chris Wallace then had this lively exchange

discussing their individual roles supporting the Bicycle Chief’s Excellent Iraqi Adventure during a commercial…


On “This Week”

George Stephanopoulos talks first to Noot!

George: How do you feel that 2008 is shaping up to be 1964?

Noot: More like 1976. Republicans have to get out from under Washington.

George: Have their been any breaks with Dubya?

Noot: One of the challenges the Republicans have is they must kiss Dubya’s ass while the also lightly kicking it. Everyone knows Katrina is a mess. Everyone knows that Iraq is not going well.

Noot: At a time when the country has less respect for Gummint than evah…

Says the man who, more than any other individual in government, made it his absolute mission to raze the Federal Government, shit on the rubble and use his office to stage daily strafing runs against his opponents by challenging their loyalty and personal integrity.

Noot: I don’t know how anyone take Clinton on without going Left.

George: So how do you stop Hillary?

Noot: It’s simple. The Left is fundamentally wrong on issue after issue. For example, Americans love capital gains tax cuts for Rich Peopleses! And then there’s English as our Official Language. And Pledges of Allegianceses, bitches! I think if the Republican Candidate slows the election down and pick 3-4 issues to talk about…

Noot: Everyone in America who hates Hillary already hates her. Everyone who doesn’t hate her, already has made up their mind? This election can’t be another Swiftboat thing.

In five paragraphs, Noot has gone from “Everyone knows Katrina is a mess” and Iraq is a clusterfuck, to Republicans should run on the Pledge and Obligatory English.

And that is GOP Leadership in a nutshell:

1. OK, we know the ship is on fire. Hell, we should; we spread the napalm and struck the match.

2. Which is why, as the hull of the Ship of State burns to the waterline, we should focus exclusively on why Dirty Fucking Hippies are serving Messican flan on the ship’s menu instead of Apple Fucking Pie!

The rebuttal is simplicity itself: “That is the stupidest, shallowest, most transparent attempt to change the subject I have ever heard. I will not answer a single, infantile question on the subject as long as the city Republican negligence destroyed still lays in ruins, and as long as American soldiers are still dying in the failed Republican War in Iraq.”


This was followed by Bill Clinton.

Apparently both Russert and Stephanopoulos were having a quick smoke in the alley, saw the Big Dog cadging contributions and annoying passers-by with his jeremiad on goodnesses of NAFTA, took pity on him, and each spontaneously invited him in out of the cold to talk about reading glasses and the 3rd world.

Oh, and Hillary too, since you brought it up.


Because…

On “Meet the Press”

It’s Bill Clinton and Reading Glasses, bitches!

And thus the the Great Clinton Media Pincer Movement rolled on.

Followed by a lot of fingernail size nuggets – Pat Buchanan (speaking for all Conservatives) seated next to Tavis Smiley for example.

It was a horserace show – who’s up, who’s got to move where to get what, who needs to take on which issue, who need more hunny.

Fists-full of gristle, sawdust and breadcrumbs to pad out a tiny dollop of ground beef into the illusion of a whole meal.

Meh.

This is not why I watch the Mouse Circus.

I watch to see trail balloons go up, and to see the wormy, squirmy id of the Establishmentarians who kill anything that threatens their nest occasionally and accidentally break out into the open.

One such item – very small and unlikely to be dwelt on by anyone else – was how thoroughly the fiction of what happened to Howard Dean has become MSM canon.

And how that legend-barnacled-lie has now become a touchstone to determine who can be taken as a Serious Candidate and who can be dismissed.

That Received Wisdom was both referenced and further gilded on MTP today.

It goes something like this:

“In 2003, Howard Dean came out of nowhere. Raising crazy money and fierce support in a way no one had every seen before. But – so sad -- he just wasn’t ready for Prime Time, made a lot of mistakes, self-destructed, and voters rejected him.”

Yeah. Ok. In the studiously neutral environment the MSM maintains, somehow the voters just up and decided to walk away from Dr. Dean.

Dishonesty squared.

Cubed.

The fulcrum on which this Received Wisdom pivots -- the so-called "Dean Scream" -- was a wholly-invented media creation. Constructed by and for Broderites in the press and Establishment Republican-Lite Democrats terrified of losing their consulting/candidate jobs-for-life.

No, the stage was set. The roles written and assigned. The hall rented. The performances bankrolled.

All as ritualized as kabuki and as offensive to real Progressives and Liberals as a fucking minstrel show.

And so ends Part I.

Part II is all about this one topic, so if that doesn’t engorge your pudenda, then skip it.

Also the ”The Chris Matthews Experience” was locally pre-empted by the digestive juices of professional sports.

Just a wild guess, but I’m assuming he spent 22 minutes wanking to Hillary’s yearbook pictures or somesuch while his hirelings with a kind of revolted, “Marian the Librarian accidentally stumbles into a peepshow” look frozen on their faces.