Saturday, July 14, 2007

Saw such a sad thing on the tee-vee tonight.


"Nightline."

That which was once ABC's mighty, imperfect-but-important, must-see; virtually the only after-hours, topical, long-format public and political events program on free-vee.

Used to be, what was on "Nightline" any given Tuesday was what people talked about Wednesday morning.

Which, even in its dotage,

had its moments.

Such as the March, 2003, airing of a 90-minute town meeting entitled: "War in Iraq: Why Now?". Or the simple, respectful Memorial Day, 2004, reading of the names of the US dead in Iraq. (Which drew huge fire and was, predictably, boycotted by the Wingnut Sinclair TeeVee Syndicate.)

Now dead. Very, very dead. And piglets and children have stripped its corpse and now jitterbug around in its winding cloth and too-big shoes.

Like SNL during its Ice Age-long periods of Painfully Unfunny Anti-humor, I occasionally skate past “Nightline” and, in a triumph of homesickness over reason, peek in and pray from something with a hint of nutritional value.

And then recoil in horror.

Like cautiously opening a letter from an old girlfriend, daring to let your heart indulge in a little hopeful nostalgia, only to discover it's just

a Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis

With SNL, it’s not that -- while drunk and removing my own liver with a garlic-press -- I could write funnier schtick than they shovel out; it’s that the final, random, pitiable squeaking of gutshot alley rats are inflected with more humor, pathos and spontaneity.

With “ Nightline”?

In a world…

…where constitutional crises rain down on this country as thick and fast as Old Testament plagues.

… where, deep into its fifth year, Iraq still killdozers along with no end or means or rationale in sight.

… where impeachment has actually become a term being used in respectable company.

… where a morally-cauterized dauphin plays King in the People’s House.

… where an authentically evil, despotic and utterly unfettered Regent runs the boy-king from the shadows.

… where 27% of the nation stand proudly exposed as subhuman monsters.

“Nightline” serves up

…the “King of the InfoMercials” and Telebrands. Adhesive earlobe clasps. Doggy stairs. Helicopter alarms.

Then…

…Fish that Kill!!! Jumping sturgeons! That leap out of the Suwannee River! Alliteratively! For the last few million years! And (maybe) “might still hurt you in some way”!! Sure, it’s all good fun until somebody loses a finger! Which is a story…because we have some video!


Then…

…Posh Spice.



“Nightline” – which used to feature live debate and extend format discussion on all kinds of interesting things – is now a literally nothing more than a spambot with better graphics and nicer hair.

Dead as Dillinger.

Murdered by ABC for the crime of occasionally letting a little truth leak into the air.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

CBS' Nightwatch used to be good during the eighties as well. At least they had the decency to let it die a natural death of sorts. Of course, that was when Charlie Rose still held tenuously to scraps of relevancy. The fact that the motherfucker recently put Kissinger on the tube as an acceptable political commentator made me want to see some televised seppuku in apology.

Gahh!

I'll stick with late night Bermuda Triangle flicks, Hawaii 5-0, and In Search Of re-runs.

And God damn it, they haven't even had the decency to run 5-0 for years. It used to be a staple of the 2:00AM plus time slot. Hell, at this point, I'll take anything Quinn-Martin, Banacek, or Columbo.

Bastards. At least Cannon never had Paris Hilton as a guest star.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what's happened to Ted Koppel...he's gotten really pathetic as an NPR "Senior News Analyst", typified by a piece run on "ATC" about a month ago, where he professes to be mystified by the growing public outrage over the death toll in Iraq, since, well, golly, we lose ten times the total in traffic fatalities every year. Trust me, it gets worse from there. But, I hope you could take comfort from watching Bill Moyers Journal on Friday night, where the discussion was about the NEED for impeachment. Guests were John Nichols from "The Nation", and Bruce Fein, one of the three conservatives left in this country who still has a soul. Fein was so agitated that Moyers and Nichols had trouble getting a word in. Wonderful stuff...I hope Congressional Dems were watching.

Dave

Anonymous said...

Yes, Drift.

Corporate ownership of our media is kicking in with a vengeance, as they give us Beckham's aging tatts and Vicky's anorexic ass.

(To digress a la Steve; if his teammates have the room-temperature smarts to get onto the fact that he's being paid 50 times more than they are, they might not get him as much of the ball as management would like...

And he's not very good at going and getting it himself. :o) )

But with Iraq imploding, and with the republican rats running for the gangplank through the alien-slime-trail, the media moguls are going to have a hard time sustaining their whitewash most-common-multiple choices for "news".

Too many people are sick of bush's and their war. More people angry about it. What's a profit-driven news-industry to do?

Can they keep up the Buster Keaton comedy about how we're REALLY, REALLY, making progress in Iraq?

That's getting to be like them putting up TV re-runs of "Leave it to Beaver". Not much ratings help there.

WHat our MSM does, or does not do, is going to be one of the more interesting things about the denouement of this wretched, tedious, blood-opera.

Ivory Bill Woodpecker said...

Hawaii Five-O is my favorite cop show of all time. I loved it when I was a grade-school kid. :)