The Main Scum

(Thank you anagram maker!)

In case you were wonder what the 2008 Presidential Campaign will look like, here it is.

In song:

POTUS:
Well, either you're closing your eyes
To a situation you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of Dirty Hippies in your community.

Ya got terror, my friend, right here,
I say, terror right here in Raver City.

Why sure I'm a Compassionate Conservative,
Certainly mighty proud I say
I'm always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend
With” My Pet Goat” in my hands are golden.
Help you cultivate horse sense
And an empty head and a smirky eye.

Never take and try to give
An iron-clad leave to yourself
From callin’ it “No Child Left Behind”?
But just as I say,
It takes judgment, brains, and maturity to lie us into war
In a distant land,
I say that any boob kin take
And shove your taxes ina Welfare Queen’s pocket.

And they call that Liberal.

The first big step on the road
To the depths of deg-ra-Day—

I say, first, ditchweed drag from a tinfoil one-hitter,
Then “X” from a coed.
An' the next thing ya know,
Your son is protestin’ the War
In a Che tee-shirt and dreds.
And list'nin to some big San Fran Cis Co Jasper
Hearin' him tell about sexual license.
Not a dutiful Christian re-pro-duction, no!
But sex where they fuck for fun, and lights on!
Like to see some stuck-up Michael Moore
Stickin’ it to Maggie Thatcher?
Make your blood boil?
Well, I should say.

Friends, lemme tell you what I mean.
Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six issues in a Party.
Issues that mark the diff'rence
Between a Christopath and a Commie,
With a capital "C,"
And that rhymes with "D" and that stands for Digby
(at Hullabaloo)!

And all week long in your Raver City
Youth'll be frittern away,
I say your young men'll be frittern!
Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too!

Gotta get the penis in the strumpet,
Never mind gittin' Dandelions pulled
Or the 1/2 Hour News Hour watched or the beefsteak pounded.
Never mind joinin' any Army
'Til Dear Leader's caught with the reserves all empty
On a Saturday night and that's terror,
Oh, yes we got lots and lots a' terror.

I'm thinkin' of the kids with the XBoxes,
Shirt-tail young ones, peekin' in the Dee-Kos
after school, look, folks!
Right here in Raver City.

Terror with a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "D" and that stands for Digby
(at Hullabaloo)!

Now, I know all you folks are the right kinda parents.
I'm gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
On while they're loafin' around that Blog?
They're tryin' out gun control!
Tryin' out faggotry!
Tryin' out Hand Rolleds like Dope Fiends in the Movies!
And braggin' all about
How they're gonna cover up a pregnancy with wan-ton abortion.

One fine night, they leave the Dirty Hippy Blog,
Headin' for the rave at the warehouse!
Libertine men and Scarlet women!
And Trance, Trip, shameless music
That'll grab your son and your daughter
With Obama-arms of a jungle animal instinct!
Mass-staria!

Friends, the active brain is the Liberal’s playground!

Wingnuts:
Terror, oh we got terror,
Right here in Raver City!
With a capital "T"
That rhymes with "D"
And that stands for Digby
(at Hullabaloo)!
We've surely got terror!
Right here in Raver City,
Right here!
Gotta figger out a way
To keep the young ones dumbed down after school!

Terror, Terror, Terror, Terror, Terror...

POTUS:
Mothers of Raver City!
Heed the warning before it's too late!
Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
The moment your son leaves the house,
Does he tune in Air America instead of Rush?
Does he call David Broder a weepy old calamity?
Keep a copy of “FUBAR” hidden in the corn crib?
Is he starting to memorize jokes from that Jewy Daily Show?
Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
Words like 'fuck’?"
And 'fuckity fucking fuck cakes’?"
Well, if so my friends,
Ya got terror,
Right here in Raver city!
With a capital "T"
That rhymes with "D"
And that stands for Digby
(at Hullabaloo)!


We've surely got Terror!
Right here in Raver City!
Remember Dick Cheney, the “News” on Fox and O’Reilly too!
Oh, we've got terror.
We've got terrible, terrible terror.
Those fucking Blogs with their foul-mouthed Hippies are the devil's tool!
Oh yes we got terror, terror, terror!
With a "T"! Gotta rhyme it with "D"!
And that stands for Digby
(Over at Hullabaloo)!!!