Sunday Morning – Tuesday Edition

Part 1 of 2

The Golden Age of Trial Ballooning!

Part V.

In which GOP spokesrodents yelp “It’s not another load of spintastic horseshit! It’s a Plan for Victory!” and throw anyone who does not believe that serial fuck-up George W. “Light Fingers” Bush has finally found the Majyk Tumbler Combination to Peace in Iraqi out of the Party of God.

Sunday was a Family Fun Day at the castle, rounding out a weekend hosting various dignitaries from clan driftglass – isinglass, art glass, a coupla shot glasses, etc. -- in town to hang out, goof around, try to cram too many projects into too little time, eat too much and enjoy each other’s company.

Which was vastly more fun and soul-nourishing than anything the Mouse Circus can ever offer.

So I watched, but not with much attentiveness. The sides of the great “Who Lost Iraq?” battle of ’07-‘08 settling in for a long, trench-but-not-trenchant warfare.

On "Meet the Press" Whoever decided the roll the Audio-Animatronic St. John McCain out of the Disney Enchanted Tiki Room of Wannabe Preznits and plug him in to the line up made a serious mistake.

McCain looked doped to the gills. As if the handlers he just picked up cheap at the Bush Administration Estate Sale put him on the serious anti-cranky meds, and instead of a shower he’d just run his head through a bowling-ball cleaner. Flat affect. Zero modulation.

An irritable bowel in a suit.

The shorter time-lapse take on St. McCain is this:

St. McCain: “I’m thinking of a number. If we push that number of troops into the Iraqi meatgrinder, everything will work out fine.”

Everyone in the MSM: Is it…zero?

St. McCain: Nope.

Everyone in the MSM: Is it…20,000?

St. McCain: Nope.

Everyone in the MSM: Is it…50,000?

St. McCain: Nope.

Everyone in the MSM: Is it…a jillion?

St. McCain: Nope.

St. McCain is, of course, tuckpointing his shambled reputation by playing his own cynical variant of “The Price is Right” spoiler strategy with people’s lives.

Whatever “price” anyone names, St. McCain will just mindlessly assert it has to be more.

The difference of course being that we’re not playing for a new washer/dryer set or a ski vacation in Tierra Del Fuego. As they have for the last four years, this Administration is casting human dice down George Bush’s Iraqi Rathole because to face the truth with clear eyes and clean hands – the truth that Iraq is long lost, and the people who stranded us there are despicable monsters – would mean the end of the GOP for a generation.

Which would mean St. McCain would have to find another ass to bear his lying self into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Iraqi Escalation is McCain’s Presidential 401K, and he’s going to make sure it is fully vested no matter how many people it ends up pointlessly killing

The other difference is, of course, that on “The Price Is Right”, eventually they flipped the cards over and showed you the correct answer.

In Iraq, the correct answer – that we can either begin to leave now at a quick march or later, pell mell and under fire – is the fact that dare not speak its name.


McCain:

“I have great confidence in General Petraeus. If it’d been up to be, it would have been more. But I looked General Petraeus in the eye and he said it’d be fine.”

“If the failure in Iraq was that clear-cut, Holy Joe Lieberman wouldn’ta been re-elected in Connecticut.”

So Candling the Great Egg of Veracity regarding Iraq no longer has anything to do with what the general’s said. Or the public. Or the experts.

No, according to St. McCain, the truth about Iraq hinges on the gullibility of the voters in the Nutmeg State.


Punkin Haid: We’re moving troops from Iraq to Afghanistan. WTF?

McCain: I’m not aware of that, but it is concerning. We have a military of 1.4M. Seems to me that we could come up with 20K, no problem.

Apparently coming up with tens of thousands of troops is like coming up with loose sofa change. Who knew?

Punkin: The Preznit said he’d listen to the commanders. Gen Casey said he does not want more troops.

And on it went.

Then came Kennedy talking sense:

Kennedy: If the Preznit chooses to be contemptuous of the will of the American people, the judgment of his generals, the birpartisan majority of the US Congress, then we have a constitutional responsibility to cut off funding for this war.

Kennedy: We would have an orderly departure. We would make sure they have the armor and the bullets.

Kennedy: Let’s try something we haven’t tried. That hasn’t failed. Let’s de-escalate. Our guys have been over there for four years. They have done everything we have asked of them. Longer than WWII.

Kennedy: This President has been wrong on every major decision.

Then Russert runs a tape of Negroponte saying “A precipitous withdrawal would be bad.”


Kennedy: Of course no one is talking about what Negroponte is talking about. They have been wrong. Negroponte has been wrong about everything every time.

Kennedy: They took their eyes off the ball in Afghanistan.

Kennedy: We tried a surge four different times and it didn’t work.


On “Fox News Sunday” the only outstanding question is why fifth-columnist and serial fraud Bill Kristol is still allowed to show his face on teevee.

I mean there is nothing fundamentally wrong with Kristol that his sitting in a sealed garage with the engine running for six hours couldn’t cure. And then his carcass could be towed out to sea and sunk onto the Sala Y Gomez Ridge where his skeleton could perhaps help produce a lively coral playground for skates and urchins and squids, and begin paying the vig on his massive karmic debt.

Except, of course, for his malevolent grin.

The coroner’s gonna have to pound that “Isn’t it cool how I make other people’s children die for my jagoff delusions of Empire?” smirk off his skull with a coal chisel.

Also on “Fox”, Bill Kristol finally, if accidentally, formalizes the GOP meme for maintaining perpetual war while keeping dissent perpetually demonized. Saying, more-or-less, everyone needs to STFU fro the next 6-9 months to see if this latest stupid idea pans out.

Of course when it doesn’t, it will be followed by yet another fantastically stupid plan, and Kristol will then tread the boards once again, insisting that everyone who does not sit on their hands while the Bicycle Chief forces the military to Sisyphus another Rock up Mt. Iraq is a traitor.

Project this shell game backwards four years and ahead forever – interleaved with protestations of “listening to experts” followed by the firing on any expert who disagrees with Administration delusion -- and you now understand the blueprint for the GOP Perpetual Destruction Machine.

End Part 1 of 2.