George Soros and his Gay Tofuista Posse

Conspire to sully and destroy another beloved American institution!

Not content with merely corrupting our children, breaking the Army, making our brilliant President look foolish and retarded by quoting what he says and not what he means, bankrupting the nation and losing the War in Iraq, the Traitorous Liberal Press is at it again.

Spreading lies and slander about yet another one of the bedrocks of American freedom.

300 Say They Got Ill From Olive Garden

Associated Press
December 15, 2006
INDIANAPOLIS — More than 300 people say they became ill, and at least three have been hospitalized, after eating at an Olive Garden restaurant last weekend, health officials said Friday.

The restaurant has been closed while health officials and the company investigate what caused customers to complain of nausea, vomiting, fever and diarrhea, a company spokesman said.

Steve Coe, a spokesman for the Orlando, Fla.-based chain of Italian restaurants, said health officials are focusing on an employee who had flu-like symptoms similar to those patrons complained of.

Six restaurant workers reported Monday that they felt ill, said Marion County Health Department spokesman John Althardt.

"We're trying to isolate what the cause of the illness might be," he said.
Health officials have found no link to the E. coli outbreak that sickened dozens of people who ate at Taco Bell restaurants in the Northeast recently, Althardt said.
…

Jesus, what America-hating crap!

How can these people continue to be allowed to abuse the “free press” and pollute our children’s minds with their obviously unhinged and hateful Liberal propaganda?!?

I mean, didn’t we learn anything from 9/11 people!?!

So let’s start with what Liberals hate most in the world: The FACTS!

First, everyone knows “mad cow”, “E. Coli” and all the rest are nothing but "science" myths invented by George Soros and his gang of Queer Tofuistas. It is their stated public goal to faggify our Great Nation by scaring people off of good, All American red meat and onto soy.

Because, second (as with fluoride a generation ago), everyone knows that soy milk is Liberal poison the Left has been using for years to taint our precious bodily fluids and weaken our steely national resolve by turning Real American Men into sissy girly men.

Third, everyone knows that while they pretend to tell us “the truth”, the Lying Liberal Press just hides out at the Green Zone salad bar, mooching free breadsticks and reporting only what the busboys and third shift waitresses tell them is going on in the rest of the restaurant.


Which means, fourth, these gutless critics getting their so-called “facts” from a bunch of illegals and slutty single mothers working for tips, so of course they’re going to hear that things are much worse than they actually are! And so you get stories about salmonella and overflowing emergency rooms, but not one fucking story about the lovely ferns in the lobby, the freshly painted stripes in parking lot or the literally dozens of people who did not get jackknife-doubled-over-projectile-vomiting-sick at the Olive Garden last week!

Everyone knows the OG is as safe as Mom’s Kitchen, and these dupes in the press do nothing but weaken our national resolve by playing right into the hands of the Service Industry Jihad as they try to push their insidious Minimum Wage Agenda.

And to prove it, I will selflessly take up this challange and go to Olive Garden on Eason Jordan's dime just to show you punk-assed Liberal pussies that eating at the OG is just as safe as The Cracker Barrel, Baker’s Square or [insert name of any gyros slingin’ greek joint with the good baklava and boric acid based-coffee. You know the one.]

Because the truth is, we were greeted as masticators by the inhabitants of the Olive Garden!

We are winning the struggle for Farts and Wines in that moderately-priced, gloriously Disneyfied, bubble-wrapped cradle of suburban “different”-but-not-scarily-authentically-different dining civilization.

But because the Lazy Lying Liberal Press only reports these implausible, agenda-drive lefty rumors of Bad News we never hear about the dinner that went completely un-regurgitated.

Or the happy, grateful stomach that went unpumped.