Sunday Morning Comin’ Down

"Keep your weak shit outta here" Edition.

The only burning question here in Chicago this afternoon was this: exactly how badly were Bears going to pulverize the 49ers?

It’s been a long time coming, and no one is counting any chickens yet, because we here remember not only the magic year of 1985, but the years before that.

The years in the wilderness that made winning so sweet.

The late-70s/early-80s Bears. The dark days. The Neill Armstrong Bears. Losers, chewing up the middle of the field, running the same failed plays over and over and over again in hopes of better result.

Walter, left.

Walter, right.

Walter, up the middle.

Punt.

And that’s an awful lot like what the next few weeks in politics is settling into, because there really are no more trick plays to call or Hail Mary’s to be thrown.

Which means there was nothing you would not expect on the Mouse Circus today, except the Bob Schieffer beat down of Ken Mehlman on Face The Nation.

So I’ll keep the rundown brief.

On Fox. The “News” coverage was Korea and the Bush Rear Guard Politcal action and Iraq.

Harold Ford came out smart and stinging, thus giving the “Mandingo” ad fresh oxygen for another new cycle. The ad was a piece of smut. “The Party of Family Values should not have run this ad in Tennessee. Or anywhere.” And if the Republican National Committee didn’t think I could win, they would not have run this filthy shit in my state.

Then Little Ricky Santorum made angry poopy in his pants. While smiling that big, vacant, GOP smile they’re all trained to smile while they say terrible things. I guess we’re supposed to find it reassuring, although I have never found smiling sociopaths anything other than creepy.

Liddy Dole: We are trying to win and Democrats are content to lose the war in Iraq.

Bill Kristol: Smirking Evil. Obviously fell into that vat of Joker chemicals as a young traitor. How else can you explain that he literally cannot stop grinning while he lies to the American people and tries to get more American soldiers killed for his insane cause.

“This Week…” was like any of a dozen other re-runs of “This Week…”

“Meet the Press” featured a Senatorial debate between Ben Cardin and Michael Steele, so if you’re still, for some inexplicable reason, politically malleable, and you live in Maryland, go find a rerun somewhere.

Which is why for the next few weeks, Sunday morning is going to be somewhat uninteresting.

It's trench now. The GOP is simultaneously slurrybombing (he said, fully realizing he was violating his own metaphor) the wildfire that they themselves created and that's roasting them alive with ever more racist, hateful, lying sludge...and running away from their own rhetoric when anyone throws a little light sunlight into their reeking, Evangelical shithouse.

Thus combining the three least appetizing features of the Party of God: Overweening hubris, overwrought hate-peddling and cowardice.

The GOP seems to be positively possessed of a raging case political Tourette’s Syndrome. Some perverse contest to see who can most completely empty their bile ducts and lower intestines into the political waters in order to so poison them that nothing but a handful of Right Wing CHUDS will survive to shamble to the polls and re-elect their Party of Perverts and Traitors Family Values.

For myself, I believe they’re in the throes of this massive moral dysfunction to try to pre-empt the post-election sense of “esprit de l’escalier” that will come pouring down like a hurricane of hammers and anvils if they lose on November 7th. These are, after all, men who have grown and prospered by looting and betraying America and every time the jig was almost up, they just upped the dosage of lies and betrayals by another 50%.

And somewhere in that dirty cubby where their conscience used to be is a feeling, ruddy and throbbing, that is they could just find the right set of syllables to string together, it'll magically save them (once again) from the consequences of their treachery and corruption.

Because at long last they know nothing else. They are nothing else.

And let’s not pretend their confidence is completely unjustified.

One look down into the ranks of the GOP confirms that there are millions of American citizens who are simply too bigoted or insane to be allowed anywhere near a voting booth, and Karl Rove knows just where they live and which of their pet perversions and diseases to stroke to get them sprinting towards the polls.

Of course, David Kuo’s book, “Tempting Faith”, should have been the last straw to any self-respecting Christian who still believe in the GOP. But let’s face it; if you proudly reject science and reason and believe in the Rapture and an Earth with a “born on” date of 4004 B.C., and delight in the idea of the Universe having a God-sanctioned expiration date of “really, really soon”, then c’mon, you’re not exactly the shiniest ornament on the tree to begin with are you?

Absent a lot of that introspection that you're absolutely terrified of, you're sorta die-cast in the part of "Credulous Faith-Based Dumbass" for good, aren't you?

So while this Sunday was a predictable as Punch and Judy, the one exception was on Face the Nation.

John Murtha was eloquent: We get no action. We get rhetoric. We get denial and demonization of the opposition.

Duncan Hunter was reporting from an alternate Universe where Everything is great and getting better. Just like Germany. Just like Japan. Everyone who is on-board for this war is a patriot. Everyone who is not is pro-terrorist.

Or something. I honestly can’t even hear what they say anymore. Can’t even make out individual words. It’s all this high-pitcher, nearly-hysterical keening

But it was the “interview” with Ken Mehlman that was kinda special.

Because while Kenny wanted to talk about “Taxes baby!!” Bob Schieffer wanted to know why the RNC is spending its money in Tennessee on racist sludge.

Schieffer just slaughters Mehlman. Little, excuse-peddling pussy. The “law” won’t let me take down this ad.

Bob: But you said you though the ad was fair.

Ken: But…I…but…but…I….

Bob: You’re on the record as saying just that.

Ken: I can’t do nuffin! I’m impotent. Powerless.

It was beautiful. It was long overdue.

Because the only play-series Mehlman and the GOP knows how to run anymore is:

Hatred, left.

Hatred, right.

Hatred, up the middle.

Punt.

And on this Sunday, perhaps a picture brought to you from a better future



is worth a 1,000 of those other thingies.