It’s the Great Lumpen, Charlie Brown.

It seems that every so often the dik-dik birds that clean the baby-flesh and black market Oxycontin and Viagra fragments from between Rush’s teeth manage to con him into believing that he’s actually sane and ready for the polite company of intelligent grownups.

They then convince some idiot to put him in front of a camera.

And then hilarity predictable ensues because, of course, without the ability to cut the microphones of anyone who calls him out for being a fat, lying racist pig, Rush is helpless.

Rush knows his demographic extremely well – puppy-kickers, klansmen and assorted other inbred mouthbreathers and the women who love them. And he knows how to play to them.

And fortunately for us he periodically forgets that the world outside is vastly different that the Universe inside the Wingnut Propaganda Fart Rebreathing Bell Jar. He periodically forgets that, far from being a badass, he is in fact a terribly delicate, terribly fragile breed of shithouse orchid; one which cannot survive outside the carefully climate- and adulation-controlled environment of Hate Radio.

He forgets and uses his “inside voice”, so every so often we are treated to a Very Special Episode of the “Rush Meets World” where he implodes into a puddle of his own sweat, urine, lies and cowardice.

And then – being Rush -- he scuttles away, puling and sniveling, until his next disastrous foray into teevee land, such as his famous 15 seconds of fame-and-flame-out in front of the cameras channeling George Wallace doing “color” commentary for ESPN.


This was all brought to mind last night when I had occasion to glimpse the odious Scarborough Country while on the treadmill at an unnamed gym.

Here are some snips from the transcript.

Guests: Michael Crowley, Amy Sullivan, Katrina Szish, Ashlan Gorse, Matthew Felling, Bob Kohn, Rachel Sklar

...
RACHEL SKLAR, HUFFINGTONPOST.COM: Well, I just found it interesting Matthew‘s phraseology, watching the bully get bullied. I mean, Letterman tore a page of O‘Reilly‘s playbook, and it‘s an excellent way of kind of disarming your enemy, if I could use such dramatic phraseology.

But I think that Letterman—yes, Letterman does not seem to like O‘Reilly. The first time he was on the program, he was reacting strongly to O‘Reilly‘s criticism of Cindy Sheehan. And this is a woman who lost her son in the war. And so that was, I think, the focus of Letterman‘s outrage, and it just doesn‘t seem like he‘s a fan.

...
KOHN (author of the book “Journalistic Fraud: How the New York Times Distorts the News and Why It Can No Longer Be Trusted.”): No, well, to a certain—I agree with Matthew. I mean, everybody wins here...

But on the other hand, you can really sense some anger in Letterman‘s voice. He personally attacks—these were ad hominem attacks. There was some discussion of the issues. As a matter of fact, I think the two of them agreed—if you listen to the rest of the segment, they agreed with each other more than they disagreed with each other.

But for some reason, Letterman was personally attacking O‘Reilly. I do sense a hatred there. And perhaps it‘s what Bill O‘Reilly is saying in his own book and on his show that there are elements of the mainstream media that are jealous of his success and don‘t want to see him succeed. As a matter of fact, they‘d like to take him down. And I think that‘s what Letterman was trying to do, try to take down...

SCARBOROUGH: Well, you know, Bob, it seems as if Letterman is proving O‘Reilly‘s point.

KOHN: Exactly.

SCARBOROUGH: That there is a cultural war, and he goes on these shows, and he‘s got people that despise him because he is a Red State culture warrior.

KOHN: Exactly right.

SKLAR: I don‘t think that‘s why—I don‘t think that‘s why they don‘t like him.

FELLING: Well, you know who is really jealous who was watching this show the other night? Who‘s jealous sitting in bed, eating her bonbons, is Rosie O‘Donnell, who had Bill O‘Reilly on “The View” but had completely been bound back by Barbara Walters and couldn‘t do what—I think she would have done exactly what David Letterman did.

And the Bill O‘Reilly—the chat fest book review tour keeps going on. And it‘s really interesting to see that Oprah Winfrey, earlier in the day—I mean, we were kind of sandwiched. It was Bill O‘Reilly-mania—

Oprah had actually laid off and just let her audience feast upon the man.

SCARBOROUGH: And of course, Bob Kohn, as Matthew said, though, Rosie couldn‘t go after O‘Reilly because Barbara Walters was there holding her on the leash, right?
...

And that’s right about when I fwew up in my mouf and moved on to the free weights, because the upshot of it all was how shocking and awful it was that that Letterman was hatin’ on po’ Bill-O.

First, when exactly did David Letterman’s little comedy dealie become a proxy for the Evil Liberal Media Conspiracy?

Second, so what if he hates Bill-O? O’Reilly is repulsive, so what rational person would not find him eminently worth hating?

But third, and most of all – what pissed me utterly off about the whole, ridiculous segment – was this: When did everyone in the MSM agree to this set of rules?

That it is perfectly acceptable for the Right to scream "Traitor!!" at the top of their lungs at anyone outside of their blackshirt circle jerk, but let a Progressive get fed up enough at being called a traitor by this jackal pack of liars and hucksters to fire back, suddenly that’s hateful and off-limits?

Limbaugh, for example, has been on the air, virtually every day in every market, for twenty years now, pumping out one virulent lie after another swimming in raw racist, sexist, homophobic sewage, and how has the Right “punished” this tin pot demagogue who hawks hate and poison to the masses for partisan gain?

For his trouble he was honored as the “Majority Maker” by the Republican Congress and has a hot line to the Oval Office. And no matter how deep into the sewer of visceral rage and fear a Limbaugh or Coulter or Hannity or O’Reilly spelunk for votes or ratings or cash, the very, very worst that the craven MSM will ever call them is “Controversial”.

And when they’re called on it in blunt, clear language they cry like little bitches.

This is as if "Culture Warrior" Bull Connor had dropped by the Harlem Boys Choir to say howdy and to hawk his latest book – “Why Jungle Bunnies Are My Inferiors” -- had got shouted out of the place, and now wants to whine that he can’t understand why the Darkies are so Angry!

Why they’re so Unfair!

To which the only rational response is this:

“BWAAHAHA!”

UPDATE: Eric Boehlert says this in very much nicer language and in terrific detail here in his article "Playing nice with Rush Limbaugh" which begins thusly:

Question: When is an apology not an apology?

Answer: When the press corps is covering for Rush Limbaugh.