Saturday, September 23, 2006

Holy Joe plans "Major!! Address!!"


While the Universe waits with bated breath to watch his words change the course of time, history and mighty rivers.

Or something.

Film at 11.
Lieberman to deliver speech on Iraq Monday

NORWICH — U.S. Sen. Joseph Lieberman will deliver what his campaign is calling a “major address” on the future of Iraq Monday.

Lieberman is seeking re-election to a fourth term as independent candidate in the November election after losing the Aug. 8 Democratic primary to anti-war candidate Ned Lamont.

Lieberman will deliver his speech at the Fowler-Dix-Park VFW Post #5095 in East Hampton.


Sorry, Joe. Long gone are the days when Americans huddled around the Philco and awaited a "major address" by any leader, much less a third-tier player on the national stage who peddles his Democratic credentials the way a Madison alley hooker rents her mouth.

2003 was the time to stand tall.

2004 was the year to grow a conscience.

2005 was the year to wake the fuck up, spit Dubya's dick out of your mouth, pry yourself out from under your sodden White House lover's brain-dead war and spend six months riding the "Mea Maxima Culpa" circuit of every teevee show and county fair that'd have you.

But it is now the Fall of 2006, and the number of Americans dead in Iraq from George W. Lieberman's reckless, inept, treacherous foreign adventures now exceeds the number of Americans murdered in Bin Laden's September attacks.

Too late, Joe. Too late for any random Republican simpleton, but far, far, far too late for anyone who wants the nation to turn its lonely eyes to him as a Leader for Our Times.

However, in the interest is fairness, my spies deep inside Camp Snittybitch did manage to smuggle out a clip of the junior Senator from Connecticut rehearsing his remarks.

So you can judge his gravitas for yourself.

11 comments:

Miss Cellania said...

That picture is going to give me nightmares.

Anonymous said...

Laugh at Lieberman all you want to, but this election is going to be real close.

Anonymous said...

Um....Sir Drifty,
I believe that Joe is working to beat the Republican canidate. You know?
He gave up on the Democrats, but still "has" to win, 'cause he's an important guy without whom the country will be lost. Or something.

Anonymous said...

Am I still asleep? Did I miss the clip? Or is the long blank space at the bottom the joke itself?

I need some coffee.....

Anonymous said...

Okay, much weirdness. As I leave your site, I can see the clip (youtube?) for a brief second. When I come back, it won't display. When I reload the page, it won't display.

Am I the only one having trouble with this?

(And yes, I am waiting for the whole page to load, gees.)

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Don't worry. The clip is not funny. At all. You're not missing anything, really. And no matter what people say, it's not a John Cleese clip.

It is sure to be a close race. The Republicans are sure to pull out all their tricks on Joe's behalf - intimidation, disenfranchisement, lies, and twisted voting machines.

But the more Joe makes speeches and statements, the better it looks. His loss in the primary seems to have pushed him all the way around the bend, and he has apparently forgotten how to campaign. other than, of course, believing his own fabricated mythos.

driftglass said...

temporary costello,
Don't mention the clip. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it

tweez,
I do not find those propositions mutually exclusive.

terry of the C.A.,
YouTube can be twitchy, but free is free.

Miss Cellania,
Welcoome to the inside of my head :-)

Anonymous said...

So, after the election, when Joe vanishes in a puff of acrid loserdom, will you have a post where you ceremoniously retire that Muto-Joe image? Do you think, during his bitter, graceless concession speech, his face will actually transmogrify to that configuration? And maybe freeze that way, like in that Twilight Zone episode where the nasty people got nasty faces?

driftglass said...

Cleter,
If he loses, Rummy will retire and Dubya'll make him SecDef, so MutoJoe will have at least another two-years of shelf life.

I will, however, reveal the trick in making that particular image.

Anonymous said...

There's a trick? I just figured you had one of those old-timey cameras that capture people's souls.

Anonymous said...

When you pluck off all the feathers, they all look the same.