Sunday Morning Comin’ Down.

Republicans Gone Wild.

In which Abu Gonzalez is all over the Mouse Circus like a rash, McCain and Condi play Jarts on Fox, and the networks show what they mean when they say “Fair and Balanced”: Foxy Boxing among various subspecies of GOP.

And the topic for Today’s Republican Sermonette all across the digital landscape was Faith. Condi – whatever her words – was out in her Sunday Best, reformatting her features into her best “trust me” face to pimp that meta-theme.

Faith-a-faith-a-faith.

Bay-bay!

Time to mount another incredibly offensive Credibility Offensive.

Which means the Administration is leaning aaaaall the way back into the ropes and hoping they can ride out this nine-dimensional nightmare they created by trotting out the most trustworthy member of their cabal (a dubious distinction here. Sorta like placing fourth in Dick Cheney’s Annual Puppy Eating Contest. Sure you’re not the worst of the lot, but you still have blood on your teeth, and your breath stinks of puppy…) to try to go to the Well of Goodwill one, last time.

Of course the problem here is the Bush White House is Foreman, not Ali. A brutal punching machine, but with no wind and no footwork.

And watching the lumbering GOP killbot with the soft tummy trying to rope-a-dope agile, tireless Reality is comical at best.

Every day another revelation of another lie right after another demand that we all just gotta believe!

Just a few more weeks, and it’ll get Crazy Better. You’ll see!

However nonexistent their showings of proof are, believe.

However perfectly catastrophic the results have been every other time the nation has trusted them…believe.

However transparent and despicable the prewar dissembling is now shown to be….believe!

However impossible it is to buy one more lying word out of the bibble-spigot of an Administration that is bringing its knee down on the neck of anyone who dares to peek in the corners or look under rocks…believe!

Whatever the Dear Leader harks up into your mouth, just swallow it warm and wet and chunky from his belly and don’t ask no stinkin’ questions.

Sorry…

Oh but I
Need some time off from that emotion
Time to pick my heart up off the floor
And when that love comes down

Without devotion

Well it takes a strong man baby
But I'm showing you the door
...

And so forth.

Fox served up Rice Pudding with a side of McCain.

Skipping most of it. Really, what more do these Ethical Blue Screen Crashed human beings have to say?

I did watch a little of Rice talking about the new Iraqi PM.

I have looked in his eyes, Chris! This is a strong leader. A great man. Give him 4-5 days to read all the resumes for the Interior Ministry, for Christ’s Sake. There are urine tests to administer, cubicle cartoon posting rules to go over, 401K plans to set up and the whole “Getting to know your new Jeffersonian Democracy” DVD orientation session to go through.

I believe they’re up to “Chapter 7: Running a modern industrial nation on four hours of electricity a day.”

Seriously, didn’t we sorta give up on the whole Ocular Biometric Truthiness e-Metering “I saw his eyes!” thingie a year ago? After Putin just came all the way out as Czar? Along with the Ritual Kissing of the Pates of Bald Men and the “heckofajobbing” and leafleting of every dodgy fratboy Friend of Dubya with a Presidential Medal of Freedom once it became clear that this Administration’s idea of “character” judgment came down to this simple, “Fear Factor” challenge:

“Ok, Pledge. Using only your anteaterly tongue, see how much cash and flattery you can pack up ol’ Dubya’s backside in 45 seconds. Ready? Go!”

But we are again reassured that, over the next few weeks, Gen. Casey will work with the Iraqi gummint to iron out all this pesky “when are our troops coming home” shit. But it is premature to give any firm numbers regarding what a draw-down would look like.

Three years later. Nearly half a trillion dollars up in smoke. Approaching 2,500 dead. Over 17,000 wounded.

But talk of a draw-down is “premature”.

Then on to mocking the people who wrote the Human Rights report on the hellhole that is Gitmo and ask the musical question, “What will happen to the hundreds of dangerous battlefield if we close it down?”

Huh!

And Jiminy Christmas! Hundreds have already been released, so shut up already!

Think about that.

We netted enough innocent Muslims to populate a Wisconsin dairy town with enough left over to fill an Iowa community college, and after years of mute, anonymous, illegal captivity and torture, we cut ‘em loose with no charges filed.

And here is the Secretary of State of the United States, pointing to that blight on the American soul as a Good Thing. Thats how far we have fallen. That the process by which we half-assedly unfuck what we never should have fucked up in the first place is getting incrementally more efficient.

Yay!

Then Chris Wallace tosses up a “question” about Iran’s Prime Minister that went something like this: “Why are you wasting time making offers to Iran. The PW is just plain nutty! He’s Mullah Nutty Nuttington of Nuttylvania, right?

Condi: Your not going to find a President who has achieved better balance in his Immigration Politics…er…Policies….

Bwahaha! I’m surprised that little slip hasn’t been making bigger rounds in the blogosphere. That subconscious is a bitch, ain’t it?

Then Wallace gets behind Condi and plays a giggly game of Name That Tune while he braids her hair.

You like Brahms? And Cream?!

*Sigh* Is there no limit to your saucy wonderfulness!

McCain takes a few practice swings in the preschooler batting cage and then Chris Wallace feed 20” softballs into the Fox Slo Pitch Machine.

Thence came Face the Nation with Abu Gonzales, and so when I flipped over to This Week I swear I thought for a flicker of a moment I was having some kind of flashback.

Or my teevee was on the fritz.

Or that CBS has bought out ABC and was just crossfeeding the same signal.

Because there was Abu Gee, caught in the same moment, in the middle of the same paragraph of the same talking point, in the same suit, in front of the same Flag-and-Books-and-Lamp props, with the same goofy expression on his face, and as I zipped back and forth (TiVo is for the weak!) I literally could not distinguish the difference between his two-bit hustle on one network and the next.


Back on Face the Nation. There! On the horizon! Democrat sighted!

Well, sort of.

Feinstein (D) and Sensenbrenner (R) [In front of his own Flag-and-Books-and-Lamp trio]

Feh.

This Week. John Edwards.

George Bush. Worst. President. In my lifetime.

Wheee!

Hayden: I think Dems ought to be against it. I wouldn’t vote for it.

More like that. Edwards. Hmmm. Go over to C&L for the whole meal.


Meet the Press. Its Condi! Again.

Again taking time to insult-but-not-dispute the UN Human Rights findings on our own stateless, lawless “cells of Toledo”.

“Of the dungeons there had been strange things narrated – fables I had always deemed them – but yet strange, and too ghastly to repeat, save in a whisper.”

But not to worry, children. In time we’ll close Guantanamo.

In time…

Really? Well what is the timetable for closing it.

I’m not going to talk about that.

And again comes the mantra: “Trust me.”

Faith-a-faith-a-faith.

So what is faith, anyway?

This idea these criminals slather over their misdeeds like Magic Philter Frosting? That they brew up into some kind of Blood ‘o the Lamb, TarnAway poteen into which they think they can dip any lie -- no matter how corrosive or ridiculous -- and out will pop a Shiny New Reality, as bright and trustworthy as a freshly minted nickel.

From the book of Hebrews, Chapter 11, verses 1-2.

“Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.
Because of it the ancients were well attested.”

Lovely poetry and not a bad definition, but I prefer this one: “Faith is belief in the absence of proof.”

Simple, succinct and defensible, as would be the converse: Belief in spite of proof is therefore not faith at all. It’s nothing but good, old-fashioned lying on the one hand, and delusional denial on the other.

A dangerous trait in a cult and a disaster in a government, but in our current circumstances its presence does have one, salutary effect.

By taking a firehose to the Bush Presidential Sandcastle, Reality has finally carved away the fluff and paint and bullshit that Rove has used to pad out Dubya’s Executive Resume these last five years, and we expose, at last, the true Base of the Republican Party.

That 48% of Republican who believe that everything is actually just right-track peachy and Dubya is an honest, humble, plainspoken, Christian man being cruelly abused by a Liberal Press.

Let no one doubt (and I’m looking at you, David Brooks) ever again that the Dominionists are the True Stalwarts of the GOP, and that the Party of Lincoln is now ruled by theocrats.

After all, who but Wingnut Christopath Thralls have been trained so to-the-bone to stand by their masters no matter how baldly they lie or how bloody they screw them?

What other class of citizen has been so carefully bred to such a perfect state of imbecile self-lobotomized obedience that they will not just ignore feculent Hurricane George even as it destroys their live and their futures, but applaud and support the destruction?

Thence came Dueling Republicans -- Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) and Rep. Charlie Norwood (R-GA) with nary a Democrat, or Progressive, or Liberal or Libertarian, or Librarian, or Li’barian, or Barbarian or Barbarellian (that’d be your Jane Fonda of hot, hippy-chick vintage) or Barbellocrat (OK, there’s only one and his name is Ahnuld), or Blameocrat (that’d be Joey Joe Joe Junior Klein), or (swinging back around to) Democrat to be seen anywhere.

So Charlie Norwood gets asked…

Hey, Norwood. If the Sensenbrenner Bill passes, what happens to the 11 million people here illegally?

Well the Democrats…

Hey, Norwood. If the Sensenbrenner Bill passes, what happens to the 11 million?

Well the President…

Hey, Norwood. If the Sensenbrenner Bill passes, what happens to the 11 million?

Well the Law…

Hey, Norwood, how about answering the god damned question. If the Sensenbrenner Bill passes, what happens to the 11 million?

Well, nuthin’ much. Its just border security at this point. Eventually attrition will take care of this.

Hey, Norwood. If the Sensenbrenner Bill passes, what about their kids?

There kids’ll have to go too. Sorry you broke our law, but…

To which one may be forgiven for yelling, “Hey! Norwood! Leave them kids alone!” almost automatically.

Because all in all he's just a-nother dick with a wall.

Lindsey Graham believes that we gotta stop kicking the can down the road. All the cans. That there is the Law, but also Justice. Republicans have to stop worrying about the next election and start worrying about “down the road”. About the future. That we needs a comprehensive solution.

We’re in charge of the White House, the Senate and the House. We have no one to blame but ourselves.

Good for you, Lindsay. Too bad you play for the wrong team…which one may speculate is exactly why they let you off the leash every other Sunday. You run the J.C. Watts wide-out routes for the scoundrels now that he's gone and left the Big White Tent.

You’re the friendly clown makeup that your degenerate Party daubs on its rotted-out skull to make it look a little less scary in a dim light.

On Chris Matthews:

Al Gore as “Topic”. Joe Klein. Al Gore is “The Darling of the Left.” And “the Internet.” Wow. The Internet is apparently alive and making its preferences known. At least to Joe Klein.

Which is pretty exciting.

Katty Kay: The country has changed. The ideas that Al Gore have been talking about have caught up with him. And Hillary isn’t as tasty as she used to be.

But Katty is.

David Gregory: Repeats “netroots” one or a dozen times.

Matthews: Hillary is vaguely for the War. The Dems are massively against it.

Kathleen Parker: There are those who say Al Gore has lost it. Wonk. Hollywood loves him. And the Net loves him so he can score big coin.

Klein: He is still living down the 2000 campaign.

He WON Joe.

Kay: He has to overcome his bitterness.

And…

Kay: Nobody is going to vote for somebody just because they’re against somebody else.

Really? Are you insane? Since we had peace, prosperity and surpluses as far as the eye could see, the entire 2000 Republican Campaign was centered on nothing but the GOP generated “Clinton Fatigue” and returning Honor to the Government.

A strategy based on the idea that if you just lob enough Molotov cocktails around, eventually people will get so tired of fighting fires that they’ll vote for the arsonists.

And 2004 was little more than, “If you vote for Vietnam Liar John Kerry, terrorist will blow up your children.”

Gregory: I don’t believe the Democratic Party wants to embrace the Progressive Wing.

I agree.

I believe the Democratic Party will be consumed by its Progressive Wing.

Which is why opportunistic triangulating nematodes like Klein, who feel compelled to fire three rounds randomly off into the faces of his “friends” for every one they gets off at thier "foes", are getting so frantic.

Because up until recently the one group that was still safe and profitable for DINOS, Republicans, and the Mainstream Media to snipe at with relative impunity was the Left.

Because for a long time the Left didn’t hit back. We thought being civil alone would carry the day. That being polite in public life eventually paid benefits. That the chuckleheads watching Rush scramble around his cage flinging poo at everything that was Not-Rush would get bored eventually and see through his naked hucksterism.

We were wrong.

Being civil only works if it goes both ways. Otherwise, if you insist on bringing a smile and a hearty handshake to one gunfight after another, eventually you end up extinct...or you keep your principles AND learn to handle a hog's-leg.

You want to be reasonable with us? Debate ideas and keep a civil tongue? Fine.

But if you want to denigrate our beliefs and call us America Haters? Especially as part of you overall plan to wreck this country? Then these days, pal, your head's comin' right off.

Because as long as it was all one-sided, Republican slash-and-slime politics could be as reckless and savage as it wanted to be and no one said “boo”. At worst it was ‘“controversial” Radio Personality, Batshit Nutlog, said today…’ or ‘”outspoken” Teevee Evangelist Pompadoured Hairbeast said last week…’

From the floor of the Congress, to the pages of major papers, to the mantle-cracking decibels of Hate Radio, it was safe to call us loony and anti-American. Moonbats and treehuggers. Feminazis and fags. To blame us for every ill and evil including 9/11...and giggle because there was no venue from which we could strike back.

Now there is...which is why the Uprising of the Great Unwash(ington)ed has the Pundit Class so completely unnerved.

Now, after, 20 successive and successful years of Rush Hatespeech and 10 years of Newt Newspeak, now suddenly the bobbleheads have come over all concerned about all the “angry” in the air.

Angry?

Oh Bobo, you haven’t seen angry yet.