Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Sunday Mornin' Came and Went – Part I.


The “Day Late/ Dollar Short” edition.

In which I try a thematic, non-Dewey Decimal grouping. Organizing the cactus with cactus, and tuchis with tuchis.

So, for example, Laura Bush did a turn on both Fox and “This Week…”

She apparently talks to Dubya about Policy all the time. About education (Books ‘n such). African relief. Personnel decisions.

She’ll talk about job appointments and her impressions of people. Wow. Not that I have any particular problem with that, but I remember long many aeons ago when Jebus rode dinosaurs around the Hanging Gardens of Babylon and the Wingnut Right had a public gibbet all prepped and ready for a certain Hillary-person when it came out that she weighed in on exactly these things.

But then again, here on Planet IOKIYAR, such trifling hypocrisies are mere rounding errors. Buried under freightloads of larger, stinkier hypocrisies

When asked about the Dubya’s China Syndrome poll numbers (Iraq having blown out the coolant pipes and having Katrina breached the containment building, draining away metric tons of what remained. Leaving nothing but the exposed Hard Core, sizzling and sparking in that backwashy [thanks Stephen Colbert] glass-1/3-full fluid.) the Mrs. was very clear: Polls? I don’t believe in no stinkin’ polls. When you think about all the hard stuff. Katrina. Iraq. These are new things that happened and there are hard decisions.

As I travel around, people come up to me and tell me what a great job George is doin’. How we should Stay The Course. (The rest are, of course, screened out or are tasered to the ground and hauled away before they get anywhere near me.)

It’s the “news people”! Havin’ fun, takin’ a poll ever week and putting it on the front page. People never put his poll numbers in the paper when they were high.

(I call the psychotropic sommelier over to my table. Waiter! I’ll have half a dose of whatever Laura’s chummin’.)

Well now we know exactly what sort of Silly String Reality Dubya crosses swords with at the dinner table.

And, we now have the standard answer to every question on every test administered by every educator in the Age of Dubya: I Don’t Believe It

I don’t believe…that Pearl Harbor took place in 1941. I have people coming up to me all over this Great Land of Ours telling me that Pearl Harbor happened in 1977. It’s not me: the Media is to blame.

I’d give him a “B” on his response for Katrina. Sure there’s room for improvement, but it’s a huge problem. Maybe you don’t realize.

On the Gay Easter Egg Roll.

Q: So what do you think of the Rovian Strategy to ban same sex marriage

A: I didn’t know Karl was an elected official. Hehehe. I don’t think same sex marriage should be used as a campaign issue. But people all over this country down want the Governor of Mass or the Mayor of San Francisco.

Q: How much of a strain is it being a Wartime Preznit, getting’ up every day and sending young men and women off to battle.

A: It’s hard. Preznitin’ is hard.

Mary Cheney.

So what about your Dad jumping to the immediate conclusion that he needed to set fire to the Constitution?

So what do you think of this story of the leaking of this story in order to make General Hayden look good.

My Dad has always been extremely respectful of people who disagree with him. He listens to everyone. And then he shoots them.

On bringing up her sexual orientation in 2004, even though it was never a secret, that she was very public about it, and the Liberals are the Party that don’t think of being gay as a pejorative, and therefore don’t comprehend why anyone would find mention of it to be insulting…

The Cheneys were in the audience for the 2004 debate and ,“We were Very Angry. It was such a cheap and blatant political point.” Mary apparently swore like a sailor.

On why do you think that Kerry and Edwards brought up your sexual orientation in the campaign...

A: They did it because they’re sleazy bastards who wanted to point out that the VP’s daugter was gay to all those bottom-dwelling Christopaths Party stalwarts that didn’t know.

On the GOP strategy of using gay marriage as a wedge issue…

A: I don’t want to speak on behalf of Preznit Bush, but the Fed Marriage Amendment is obviously something he believes in.

On, if it was cheap and sleazy for the Dems to do it, is it cheap and sleazy for the GOP to do it…

A: I would hope that NO ONE would use amending the Constitution as a political (and that her head didn’t explode at this point is still more proof of the absence of a Just and Intercessionary Deity.)

On whether or not the official position of the GOP platform is Intolerance Personified…

A: I worked on the campaign in 2004 because I believe in the leadership of Bush/Cheney, not the platform of the GOP.

And that is as good an explanation as any for how Mods still manage to stand behind the White House: I believe in the candidates…but not the Party.


A little taste of “This Week…” with Biden and Hagel.

Is NSA shit legal?

Hagel: I dunno.

Biden: “Pattern of Excess” Male Pattern of Excess? He does not say, but you know he knows.

What about sending the Guard to the border?

Hagel: Bad idea.

Biden: These screwheads have stretched the Guard soooo thin already. Jesus. They have fucked the military right and left, and not they want to drop their failure to do anything meaningful on border security on the backs of the armed forces.

What about the House?

The Biden/Hagel Sunday Morning Hybrid which henceforth known as “Bagel”: It’s full of snarling GOP fuckers who don’t want no stinkin’ “path to citizenship”. And to them I say, then come up with a better idea, but you can’t just ignore the 12 million who are already hear.

Sure you can. Just invoke the Laura Bush Protocol. “I just don’t believe…there are 12 million illegal immigrants here."

See how easy that is?


NSA (on Face The Nation)… with Steven Hadley, Jane Harman and S.P.E.C.T.E.R.

Q: Why didn’t you go to a court? Why didn’t you get oversight?

Hadley: The Terrorist Surveillance program is big and complicated and the FISA structure is not set up to deal with it.

S.P.E.C.T.E.R.: When Hadley said that the “appropriate people” had been briefed, that’s just not true. There has been NO meaningful oversight


H.A.R.M.A.N.: Hadley said FISA is not appropriate to this. I couldn’t disagree more. Yes, I think this White House is breaking the law. This is a lawless WH. The skip right over Article I – the oversight thingie – and just do whatever the fuck they feel like.

S.P.E.C.T.E.R.: Article II gives the Preznit inherent powers that trumps Article I under certain circumstances. But if we don’t know what the Hell the program is, we have no effing way to know if Article II applies in the first place


H.A.R.M.A.N.: No, the Democrat position isn’t to just stop this program. What fucking nonsense. But if you’re talking about small “d” democrats, the agenda is to have the WH follow the God Damned Law! Jesus Christ.

End Part I.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is an excellent and absolutely accurate summary of the Sunday dog-and-pony shows.

Anonymous said...

Whoa! I don't even know where to start! How did you manage to handle all this tv? Tivo?

Oh, wait, I remember one point now. When Laura talks: 1) Does George even listen? 2) She doesn't expect him to respect or truly consider what she says. She's a good wifey.
I have always thought that Hillary probably kicked Bill in the nuts if his mind drifted while she was pontificating. She is smart though, and people know this, I think that's why they were upset that she might be "setting policy."

Mary Cheney--that's a tough one. Turn you back on your family AND all that power? Just to, what, make a point? You tell me how any of us might respond.

NSA--is a fucking crime. Period.

PWhit said...

and the Liberals are the Party that don’t think of being gay as a pejorative, and therefore don’t comprehend why anyone would find mention of it to be insulting…

Gotta love that line of thinking Drift, you have gift for jamming lots o stuff into nutshells, and there's a great example of it.

Karen McL said...

Hey...that's "Days late and Half-Dollar short" to you, my friend.

*wink*

But doncha love TiVo (if that's how ya saves stuff fer review!)

;-)

Anonymous said...

little Mary Cheney, she would have been a capo in the concentration camps

she is definitely her father's child, PURE EVIL