Golly, Cletus Qletus.

Why d’you those Liberals are so darned angry?

Hmmm.

Maybe it’s their Devil Music? Or the ACLU? Or the sexual prowess of their women?

It is indeed a Great Mystery.

Say, perhaps carefully deciphering the hidden meaning encrypted in the latest fatwa from the Wingnut Whore of Babble On-and-On-and-On can provide some clues...

From Media Matters:

Coulter: "[B]eat[ing]" Yale student with Taliban ties "even more senseless" would demonstrate that "[p]atriotic Americans" can "act like men"
...

In her May 10 syndicated column, right-wing pundit Ann Coulter declared: "Patriotic Americans don't have to become dangerous psychotics like liberals, but they could at least act like men." As a first example of how they could do so, Coulter asked: "Why hasn't the former spokesman for the Taliban matriculating at Yale been beaten even more senseless than he already is?" Alleging that Hollywood portrays America as "a cauldron of ethnic hatreds positively brimming with violent skinheads," Coulter continued: "Where are the skinheads when you need them?"

Oh that’s right, there is no fucking Hidden Message. There is no subtext. No faint map to a GOP El Dorado palimpsested under Crazy Anne’s latest steaming load of Conservative Goodthinkfulness.

Not at all. The Medusa is the Message, baby, and she is squatting right out there in the noonday sun. The GOPs own nekkid Lady Godawful, riding through the commons in a clear, bright light visible from orbit. Month after month, year after year, in all of her maggoty, putrefying Glory.

Under the banner her hero Joe McCarthy, calling Liberals traitors and liars and cowards. Calling for the murder of judges and Presidents. Calling for the liquidation of whole cities and peoples. Calling for slaughter on a Stalinist scale of anyone, anywhere who does not bend an enthusiastic knee to the Dear Leader, and calling for the liquidation of anyone, anywhere who thinks that her ideas for a Partisan Final Solution to the liberal-feminist-queer-ACLU-ayrab-tree-hugger “problem” isn’t just birthday-cake-with-extra-ice-cream spiffing.

She is Hate Personified, in a blond Fright Wig.

And she and the rest of the Chorus of the Damned -- Rush, Hannity, Hume, Falwell, Roberston, Dobson, Gingrich, Helms and all the rest of their metastasizing imitators -- have, serially or collectively, for twenty years been beating out their siren’s song on a vile Republican Base Drum they cobbled together out of the skin of the Founders and the bones of Christ.

And you know what? It worked.

They had to bellycrawl through the electoral sewers of the Unreconstructed Segregationist South and the pulpits of Christopathic cultists to do it. To lie continuously at 120 decibels. To rig and cheat and slander and Rove without a flicker of conscience or consideration of what they were doing to the nation as a whole.

And it worked. Now, by the tiniest sliver of a margin they hang onto power like grim death and bleat about their unassailable mandate to plow the future under and salt it so that nothing can survive there.

Keep in mind the timeline of their relentless, hate-stoked, torch-lit march to power (‘scuse me while I dip into my own archives and whip this out):

1987: The Reagan Administration immediately invites the “Fairness Doctrine” to the West Wing basement to “check out some cool shit I got” and shoots it in the head. Twice. See, when you’re Anointed By God Almighty, all “conflicting views” are axiomatically equal to Satan’s Own Lying Helljizz, and we can’t be having helljizz spattering all over the place, can we? What About The Children!?

So no more Fairness Doctrine, and suddenly any bottom-dweller with a talent for spoonfeeding young, dumb Fascists whatever lies they want to hear could become Rich! Rich as Pirates! But from what far shore would this new lion arise?

This from World Of Celebrities “In 1988, Limbaugh returned to radio as a talk show host in Sacramento, California.”

In 1992, President George I goes on Limbaugh's show as part of his re-election campaign.

In 1994, when the Republicans captured the Congress, they held a ceremony naming him “an honorary member of Congress” and “the Majority Maker.” Today he is heard bleating his Goebbespeak from 600 stations and 20 million people listen to him every week.

Meanwhile, inside the Party of Lincoln (although the differentiation between party “insiders” and “the media” had, by this time, all but disappeared) Newt Gingrich -- GOP’s #1 Fountain of Bile -- had produced GOPAC’s own Little Red Book: a primer on teaching GOP Newspeak to the young ‘uns. It divided the rhetorical world into Positive, Optimistic Words to be used to describe all things Republican, and another list of words to be worked into every conversation about Democrats. Newt Gingrich’s instructions to his congressional Hitler Youth:

“This list is prepared so that you might have a directory of words to use in writing literature and mail, in preparing speeches, and in producing electronic media. The words and phrases are powerful. Read them. Memorize as many as possible. And remember that like any tool, these words will not help if they are not used.”

The words he listed to be jackhammered mindlessly into the skulls of anyone anytime you spoke of Democrats were: decay, failure (fail) collapse(ing) deeper, crisis, urgent(cy), destructive, destroy, sick, pathetic, lie, liberal, they/them, unionized bureaucracy, "compassion" is not enough, betray, consequences, limit(s), shallow, traitors, sensationalists, endanger, coercion, hypocrisy, radical, threaten, devour, waste, corruption, incompetent, permissive attitude, destructive, impose, self-serving, greed, ideological, insecure, anti-(issue): flag, family, child, jobs; pessimistic, excuses, intolerant, stagnation, welfare, corrupt, selfish, insensitive, status quo, mandate(s) taxes, spend (ing) shame, disgrace, punish (poor...) bizarre, cynicism, cheat, steal, abuse of power, machine, bosses, obsolete, criminal rights, red tape, patronage.

And all of this -- all of it -- they did to the raucous applause of their Base. So in answer to the question Republicans now dare to mumble sprawled in their postures of shocked repose on their fainting couches, or squeak from the tabletops where they frantically dance holding their ruffled skirts aloft in terror – “Why are Liberals so angry?” -- let me answer with exactly the same words I used last July:

Fuck them. Fuck anybody that looks like them. Fuck anybody that voted for them and doesn’t want to begin the conversation with, “I am soooo sorry”.

The point of this is simple and I’ve said it this way before: without Gingrich declaring a deliberate, Orwellian War on Language itself, and without Limbaugh and his ilk acting as the Republicans’ own trillion watt Bullshit Metraton, the GOP are nothing but a minority part, squatting in their squalid Slave States, musing angrily about Negroes.

Professor Plum-fuck ‘em in the Conservatory with a candlestick.

Fuck ‘em sideways.