...of the last known conversation between Dubya and his conscience.
A nearby newsman interviewing the first runner up of the Miss Alabama Segregation Forever contest picked up some of the exchange via directional microphone…
”…said quit fucking staring at me you freak. I’m George Dubya Bush and I will fucking well do whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fu…”
inaudible
“…run this whole fucking country someday, and then your ass’ll pay. Then everybody’ll pay. Nobody puts Dubya in the corner you cowfaced Disney mutant. Nobody. What’dya have to say to that?”
“When you meet temptation and the urge is very strong.
Give a little whistle! Give a li...”
Sound of a gunshot. Scream.
“…torture whoever the fuck I want. Throw people in jail forever, n’ shit. Waste who I want. Take what I want. Invade where I want. The world, Cricket, and everything in it. Kneecap 'n ratfuck genuine heroes. Put hacks and thugs and my dickhead, deadbeat friends in charge of everything.
And the best part? The very best part is, Republican fucktards will actually cheer me every step of the way! Shove that up you poop hole you smug, chitenous shitbag. I’ll be the god damned President – I’ll be the Nukular King of the God Damned Universe -- and then nobody’ll be able to lay a fucking finger on me.”
Scuffle/inaudible
“…ahead. Sing ‘When You Wish Upon a Star’ one more time, motherfucker. I dare you. I double dare you. Sing ‘When You Wish Upon a Star’ one more time, ‘cause I got your “…bolt out of the blue” right here bitch.”
Sound of Cricket singing weakly.
Second shot.
Sound of Dubya running away, voice fading.
“Poppy. Popppppy! Somebody shot Jiminy Cricket!”
17 comments:
Excellent, as always.
However, I think Chimpy sounds a little too articulate here:
"And the best part? The very best part is, Republican fucktards will actually cheer me every step of the way!"
He asks *and* answers a question. He uses an adverb. That's about four grade levels above Preznit Bitch's education.
Now this:
"Throw people in jail forever, n’ shit."
That's the Chimperor for sure.
I'll cop a plea of artistic license...plus this was before his 20 year 3-way with Jimmy Beam and Lady Blow had had its way with him.
Funny stuff.
It's really sad about the cheering part. Sometimes I just don't understand at all.
Rather than rag about the oh so obvious errors in your photoshopping, let's try the Guideposts for Children route. Find the six GLARING errors in the picture.
1. Picture is obviously from a war zone.
(Dumya was never in the same hemisphere)
2. The onlooking soldier is black.
(see above)
3.As son of a son of a sonofabitch, Dumya was born without a conscience.
Jiminy may be another's conscience, but were that the case, it would bother the Shrub a whit.
(Ignoring the implausibility of the photo)
4. The Gun is absolutely too small.
5. He's not wearing his Cowboy Hat.
6. There is not a Lone Star Beer sign on any of the storefronts.
7. Karl Rove is absent. Dick Cheney is absent and Daddy/Mommy are not there either. No obvious bulge at the back and no visible earpiece... So he's not being spoonfed the idea of blowing Jiminy's head clean off.
Bonus: He's holding the firearm properly, even managing to point it in the right direction. The record will show that any photo-op results in a self-inflicted foot wound.
we must forgive artistic license with Chimptard's conversations, otherwise it would just sound like heavy breathing
Very very cool! I never did like that damn cricket...
Oh man......................oh man.
so thats what happened to him, I always wondered about that.
I don't see his getaway bicycle anywhere here. Maybe it was a three-wheeler at that point....
Off-topic, drifty, but you're it!
rehctaw,
The onlooking soldier isn't black, he's South Vietnamese. The original photo is of a South Vietnamese commander killing a hostage during the TET offensive of 1968 in the Cholon district of Saigon.
The commander had just learned that his entire family had been killed by the VC earlier that day.
Just so you know.
Keep up the excellent work drifty. I really enjoy your site.
Drift, just stay home and keep doin' this.
No dicey drivin' around in the loop; no swimmin' next summer;
Your turn in the bubble. We NEED you! :o)
(P.S. Sadr and Sistani say hi, and that $3 you put into their start-up "democracy are us" stock, is now worth 7 figures.)
tanbark,
Wish I could stay home, my friend. But if I did, I'd end up without one :-)
gordon2004,
Bingo. A photo of a man taking the right to execute a prisoner in his own hands.
Seemed apt.
neil shakespeare,
Thanks. I know your work and that's high praise from you.
michael,
Oy.
Grep Agni,
Language got me drunk, and the alliterative allure was too powerful.
Jiminy's expression is priceless. Excellent as always, Drifty.
That image...is like something from an "Apocalypse Now" fever dream--the direct result of the madness (of Prince George?) surrounding us seeping into our hair folliles and then, through the skin, skull, dura and finally...the brain.
The words? What can I say? Equal parts Joyce, Donald Goines, Mamet and a sane, sober, but still crazy-like-a-fox, peak-skilled Oliver Stone.
You a bad man Drift. I hoist a Cold Duck to you, slam the glass down, pull my shiv and yell down the bar, "Now who got a problem with what I said about Driftglass? Who mother-f*cker, who?"
And there's nary a peep. Of course. 'Cause I was right.
Rock on,
LowerManhattanite
Tarantino meets Disney: Nicely done, Driftglass, and better yet, not nice at all.
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