Monday, November 28, 2005

When a Republican has a Wet Dream…


…this is what it looks like.

Sometimes the oddest things inspire me...

Piece Falls From Supreme Court Facade

By Associated Press

November 28, 2005, 9:51 AM CST

WASHINGTON -- A basketball-sized piece of marble moulding fell from the facade over the entrance to the Supreme Court, landing on the steps near visitors waiting to enter the building.

No one was injured when the stone fell. The marble was part of the dentil moulding that serves as a frame for the frieze of statues atop the court's main entrance.

A group of visitors had just entered the building and had passed under the frieze when the stone fell at 9:30 a.m. EST.

Jonathan Fink, a government attorney waiting in line to attend arguments, said, "All of a sudden, these blocks started falling. It was like a thud, thud."

Ed Fisher, a government worker, said some of the marble pieces shattered, spraying the area with smaller chunks of stone. A group of students from Columbus, Ohio, pocketed some of the fragments as souvenirs, Fisher said.

Mark Goodman, a Washington resident, said some of the people who picked up larger pieces of stones took them back. "We'll have to look on eBay tomorrow," Goodman said.

Earlier in the morning, dozens of people had lined up in hopes of getting a seat for arguments inside the court -- a practice which is not unusual. Justices were back on the bench Monday following a two-week recess.

The fallen marble lay directly in the center of the path up to the court entrance.
...


What was not widely reported is the fallen fragments formed a perfect image of Charles Darwin. The Virtue Police responded quickly by blocking off the area with "Caution: Heretical Event" tape, loudly and unironically singing "Every Sperm Is A Good Sperm" and tasering anyone who tried to get a peek.

When asked, the head of the group -- Reverend Righteous T. Pecksniff – explained that he and his Rapid Yahweh Strike Force were simply following the protocols for such an event as laid down in ancient scripture...and on page 11,251 of the U. S. A. Patriot Act. Reverend Pecksniff would not answer further questions, saying his team had to redeploy immediately to respond to a USAPA-922:

"Unauthorized Likeness of Stephen Jay Gould on an English Muffin."

13 comments:

Neil Shakespeare said...

Wow! Cool picture, man! The Cowboy Samson! What does Pat Robertson make of that, I wonder? I bet it's another sign that God is unhappy with the Supreme Court. "It's crumbling right before our eyes! Before our eyes! But before we die, why don't we all have one of my delicious milkshakes?

Mr. Natural said...

Driftie yer a piece-o-work!

George said...

Charles Darwin? Drats! If they had formed the Virgin Mary it could have been sold for millions of dollars on eBay.

Anonymous said...

Man, driftglass--you put us all to shame. Here you are, nose to the flatscreen-stone, coming up with inspired stuff like this, when you could be at the local multiplex catching two days' worth of RENT/Rosario Dawson showings. How unworthy _are_ we? ;)

Mister Roboto said...

Actually the song is, "Every sperm is sacred".

Rommel said...

loveandlight is right, but that withstanding, I can always get my dose here!

Fucking Brilliant.

jurassicpork said...

Ha ha ha! Love the photoshopped picture. Samson Agonistes, perhaps?

Sometimes for inspiration, all I need is an IP address, specifically from the DIA, or Defense Intelligence Agency. A certain person from a certain IP address, it turns out, is one of my biggest fans.

So I Googled the IP address and found out every single place this address had been at over the last two and a half years including quite a bit of personal info.

So I addressed this issue in my latest post (minus the personal info). Hopefully, my G-fan in Columbus, Ohio will see it before it gets scrolled down below casual perusal.

This was inspired by the play that the proposed expansion of CIFA's powers has been getting on all the major blogs and I recommend that we all start paying closer attention whenever possible to the IP address that visit out site. CIFA's already been harassing Jesus' General and I, myself, have gotten hits from the DIA, the DOJ, the EPA (!) and several naval and Air Force bases.

Jeremie Jordan said...

Ummm, I don't get it. Is it going over my head, or is it not funny?

When a Republican has a wet dream...stop your killing me.

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