Reservoir Dogmatics

Mr. Yellowcake explains all.

See, he never really lied, because frankly, Iraq was just a country that needed a damned good fucking.

In fact, if you really listen a to Dick Cheney’s “Like A Liberator”, it all becomes clear.

MR. YELLOWCAKE:
“Like A Liberator " is all about country that
needs Big Dick. The whole song is a metaphor for
Big Dick.


MR. BROWNIE:
No it's not. It's about a guy who is very
vulnerable and fashion-savvy. He’s been
fucked over a few times just because he’s
not very good at his job and let a city die.
But he meet a President who
really understands--


MR. YELLOWCAKE:
-Whoa...whoa...time out Fashion God.
Tell that bullshit to the Senate.


CONDI:
(looking through her
address book)
Colin...who the fuck is Colin?
Colin... Colin...think...think...
think...


MR. YELLOWCAKE:
It's not about a loyal muppet who meets
a sensitive President. Now granted that's
what "True Blue" is about, no argument
about that.


MR. SCOOTER:
Which one is "True Blue?"


NICE GUY KARL:
You don't remember "True Blue?"
That was a big ass hit for Harriet Meirs.
Shit, I don't even follow this Tops In Fops
shit, and I've at least heard of "True Blue."


MR. SCOOTER:
Look, asshole, I didn't say I, ain't
heard of it. All I asked was how does
it go? Excuse me for not being the world's
biggest Harriet Meirs fan.


MR. SCOTTY
I hated Harriet Meirs.


MR. BROWNIE:
I liked her early stuff. You know,
"Lotto Star," "Most Qualified Person" - but
once she got into her "Judges Should Preach"
phase, I don't know, I tuned out.


MR. YELLOWCAKE:
Hey, fuck all that, I'm making a point here.
I'm not very fucking bright as it is, and you're
gonna make me lose my train of thought.


CONDI:
Oh fuck! Colin’s that Negro fella!


MR. RUMMY:
What's that?


CONDI:
I found this old address book in a jacket I
ain't worn in a coon's age.
Colin what?
What the fuck was his last name?


MR. YELLOWCAKE:
Where was I?


MR. SCOOTER:
You said "True Blue" was about a sock-puppet and her most-excellentest-President-in-the-the-whole-wide-world
But "Like A Liberator " was a metaphor for Big Dick.


MR. YELLOWCAKE:
Let me tell ya what "Like A Liberator"'s about.
It's about some country that’s a regular Everlasting
Oil Gobstopper. And it’s constantly getting
dicked around by everybody.

I mean all the time, morning, day, night, afternoon,
Britain, Iran, Saddam, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick,
dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.


MR. BROWNIE:
Ohhh! How many dicks was that?


MR. RUMMY:
A lot. Maybe a full-Mehlman.


MR. YELLOWCAKE:
Then one day this country meets this Big Dick
Cheney motherfucker, and it's like, whoa baby.
This mother fucker's like Hannibal Lechter in
"Silence of the Lambs." He's diggin' graves. Now
they’re gettin this serious Invader Dick action, they’re
feelin' something they ain't felt since forever.

Occupation.


CONDI:
Mialiar? Colin Mialiar? No.


MR. YELLOWCAKE:
It hurts. It hurts them. It shouldn't hurt.
This country should be Bubble-Yum by now.
But when Big Dick Cheney fucks them, it hurts.
It hurts...like the last time they were conquered.
The pain is reminding the whole culture what it
was like to be a subjugated.

Hence, "Like A Liberator."