Saturday, August 13, 2005

Only problem with “Hail to Da Chief?”


Needs. More. Cowbells.


Well, I’ve found my candidate for 2008 here. This is the homepage quote from Himself:

"Our great country is in a terrible downward spiral. We're losing jobs, losing benefits, and losing lives. We need to focus on what's important-- paying attention to our children, our environment, our future. We need to think about improving our underbudget educational system, making better use of our resources, and helping to build a stable, safe, and tolerant global society. It's time to be smart about our politics. It's time to get America back on track."


Why Walken?

Oh, c'mon! A million reasons, but I’ll stick to three:


1. The Walken v. Santorum Debate.

“I feel like a little boy who's lost his first tooth, put it under his pillow, waiting for the tooth-fairy to come. Only two evil burglars have crept in my window, and snatched it, before she could get here... Wait a second, do you understand the concept of the tooth-fairy?

Explain it to them...

Wait.

She takes the god damned thing, and gives you a quarter.

They've got my tooth! I want it back!"


2. The first State of the Union

“The way your dad looked at it, this Constitution was your birthright. He’d be damned if any of the Republicans were gonna get their greasy Fundy hands on his boy’s birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this Constitution up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the Constitution. I hid this uncomfortable piece of Democracy up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the Constitution to you.”


3. I really wanna win that car!

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

I suppose it's just my movie ignorance showing, but this article totally lost me at point one. The linked site was nifty though.

jurassicpork said...

The cowbell reference was a quote from Walken on Saturday Night Live. He was talking about "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult.

Anonymous said...

Oh Driftglass...I've barely the words to convey to you the perfection of this post. Good Lord, how the family is laughing.

driftglass said...

Grep Agni,
Some I do just for myself.

jurassicposrk,
That's "Mr." cocksucker...

alicia,
Thanks, darlin'; it always makes my day (or pre-dawn) when I hear I made someone laugh.

Eli said...

Tooth Fairy? Wouldn't it be the Fetus Fairy?

I also suspect that Santorum would not approve of his marriage to that bobcat...

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