Hitler got my knickers...

...but I got this!

This Happy Fun News from the NYT.

July 30, 2005
Bolton Not Truthful, 36 Senators Charge in Opposing Appointment
By STEVEN R. WEISMAN
WASHINGTON, July 29 - Charging that John R. Bolton was "not truthful" in answering questions about his record, 36 senators urged President Bush on Friday not to make a recess appointment of Mr. Bolton as United Nations ambassador after the Senate's failure to confirm him for that job.

But one Republican official, speaking on condition of anonymity because the president has not announced his decision, said Mr. Bush would probably appoint Mr. Bolton next week.

In a letter to Mr. Bush, the senators cited the disclosure on Thursday that Mr. Bolton had been interviewed by the State Department's inspector general in an investigation of intelligence failures related to Iraq, even though he told the Senate Foreign Relations Committee in March that he had not been involved in any such inquiry.

Mr. Bolton "did not recall this interview" when he assured the committee that he had not been questioned by any investigators, according to a letter sent Friday from the State Department to Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr., the ranking Democrat on the foreign relations panel.
...
The State Department has admitted that, as Mr. Biden charged, Mr. Bolton had been interviewed in a previous inquiry into one particular intelligence failure on Iraq, the finding that Iraq had tried to buy raw uranium from Niger for a nuclear arms program. That finding turned out to be based on forged documents.

Administration officials appeared shaken by the disclosure, and some worried openly that it might hurt Mr. Bolton's chances of a recess appointment, a tactic that a president is permitted use once Congress is in recess in August. The appointment would expire at the end of next year, however.
...

Dear Jebus,

It’s driftglass.

Longtime listener; first time writer.

Let me just say, I loved your early work. The acoustical stuff. Loved it.

Before self-hating, closeted-gay-spin-doctor Paul came onboard and overproduced the Holy Shit out of everything. Started fucking with the Product, and by the time your clear and deceptively-simple, Jordan Delta Hebrew Blues had been run through the whole Wailing Wall of Sound, remix/sampling/trance-lets-market-to-the-Romans crap-factory, you could hear it blaring out all day and night on the radio and never know you wrote it.

Before everybody got SFX, Cross-and-blood-happy and forgot to just read the fucking lyrics.

Sadly, this is not theoretical: we do hear these perversions roaring out on Hate Radio and satellite teevee 24/7, and like many of the lily-white rockers who never gave a dime or a moment’s respectful nod to the black artists who they ripped off so lavishly, your legacy is in the hands of talentless hacks. And swindlers. And evil men who’ve phished your identity and Bowdlerized your Ageless Truths. Lonesome Rhodes’ stalk the land in their thousands under aliases like Hinn and Dobson and Falwell; they cash in on your Good Name while they methodically rape your Good Word.

That fungus-skulled, queer-bashing theological garage-cover-bands are making Big Cake running one paragraph out of Romans at 150 decibels in an over-amped feedback-heavy roar to justify their bigotry must make you sick.

That overfed, overdubbing, comb-overs flog every single thing You actually ever said or did to death in a blizzard of White Supremacist Noise and recrucify You with every hateful word that passes their lips must piss You off rather a lot.

That Corporate posers crank on the Parable of the Talents like speedmetallurgists working the bass, banging it out at 120 beats-per-minute, drowning out Your gentle, radically humane Aramaic poetry with a mad-beast-howling justification of rape-the-planet Capitalism and eat-the-weak Christianity must make adding Here and Now to Your tour schedule in the immediate future kind of unlikely.

In case You’re not following events day-by-day, those that hate You now run a fair number the courts in this country. Those that pervert You and privately work night and day to destroy You run our Congress. Those that vilify everything they touch and destroy everything they claim to hold dear occupy our White House and commit their slaughters and treasons while wearing "Jebus Loves My Swingin’ Dick", Day-Glo bibs and tuckers to keep the spattering of innocent blood off their sharp, gray suits.

So if You’ve read this article, I commend to Your attention the following paragraph in particular:

“The State Department has admitted that, as Mr. Biden charged, Mr. Bolton had been interviewed in a previous inquiry into one particular intelligence failure on Iraq, the finding that Iraq had tried to buy raw uranium from Niger for a nuclear arms program.”

Like a string of poison-pearls, each of the myriad, loathsome crimes this Administration has committed against the Constitution, the citizens of the United States and the people of the world seem to be threaded together with the lies that put us in Iraq, and Niger and the Plame Affair is the key that opens the whole, reeking can of sardines.

The Superheroes of the New McCarthyism: Traitor Rove, and his youthful turd Scooter, are both implicated.

And Abu Gonzalez – our post Y2K John Mitchell – for giving a 12-hour head’s up the Undersecretary of Shredding that the indictments were en route.

And Cheney.

And Bush.

And Republican disinformation sewer-pipe, Judy Miller.

And Future Satrap of All Petrolvania and Judy Miller’s pudgy French Tickler, Chalabi.

And our Nation’s own Bile-duct Coptic jar, Robert Novak.

And Scotty the Pooh, with his fat head stuck 8.5-inches-cut-deep in the Plame Hunny Pot, wandering around behind the podium, muffled voice barely audible as he bleats “ongoing investigation” to every question, including, “What’s your name?”, “Who is buried in McClellan’s Tomb?” and “Would you like some help getting that pot off your head, Pooh-bear?”

And Ari Fleischer, who one hears is now hiding out in a disused 1950’s, Zeus/Nike missile defense silo with 100 pounds of buffalo jerky, 100 gallons of distilled water, strapped up with enough C4 to alter the rotation of the Earth, and keeps the dead-man’s switch clamped between his ass cheeks.

Ain't nobody gonna depose Ari.

It would be funny, Jebus, if the antics of these human bilge-pumps hadn’t bankrupted my country, gotten a whole lot of people killed and made the world much more dangerous place.

And now Bolton who, despite overwhelming evidence that he isn’t just massively unqualified for the job of U.N. Ambassador, but actually might be the single, worst possible person for the job, once again bobs to the surface like a bloated corpse in a stagnate mire.

So if You could grant me one wish today (Tomorrow, all new wishes. Hurray for Jebus!), with Your Magic Jebus Powers, pleeeeease make Bush appoint this human spit-valve via a recess appointment. Pretty please!

One can only surmise why Bush is still pushing this watery discharge uphill. A pig-headed gangster who will happily kill thousands of human beings and piss away the reputation of his Nation rather than admit he made a mistake is certainly not prone to back off any fuckup, no matter how much ruin is left in his wake. Straight-up Feudal-MBA attitude; Fuck any little people who get hurt, and lobbing scapegoats onto catastrophes until they go away is why God made underlings.

Then again, I kinda wonder if Bolton has something on Bush? What’dya think, Jebus? I figure everyone in this administration must to have photos of everyone else boinking otters or strangling puppies. How else do they enforce collective loyalty? Seriously, given the petty, vicious, shallow arc the life of the Idiot Wastrel of the Bush Family has described, who but the retarded, the perverted, the extorted or the sociopathic could be so slavishly devoted to such an hollow and unworthy creature?

Anyway...

First, this would put Bolton back in the headlines with a hard link to the Plame story over a hot summer when ordinary people are beginning to use the words “Rove” and “treason” in the same sentence a lot. The forthright, straight-shootin’ Bush looks more and more like a gutless, dickless, little wimp hiding out from the latest consequences of his Highest Crime, and Bolton is another bolt of wild lightening in a tinder-dry political landscape that is already alive with wildfires.

Second, a recess appointment tells the Whole Fucking World that George Bush is now officially Peking Lame Duck L'Orange. That he can’t get his pet stooges rammed into any gummit job he wants any more. Had Bolton sailed through, he could have spent the next few year of his already-iniquitous career swaggering around the halls of the United Nations, punching smaller countries in the throat, or pinning them to the ground and socking them in the head their own fists, repeating “Why are you invading yourself? Why are you invading yourself?” until they pass out.

As it is, the other kids at the International High School will be laying for him.

(Here’s my one, free hint to Bolton: to avoid a “Doctrine of Pre-emption” atomic wedgie that would make Neville Chamberlain’s 1938 Munich Wedgie [Ah, the point of the pic slowly emerges.] look like a little friendly, bi-lateral cunnilingus, go underpantsless for the first few weeks.

Oh, and don’t pay cash for your “Elevator Pass.” )

All in all, it gets Bush nothing, makes him look yet again every bit as weak and stubborn and stupid as his critics have always charged, unnecessarily pisses the hell out of the Moderate Republicans in Congress, paints the whole Administration ever more so as a feckless Monarchy and enemy of the Constitution, and calls even more unwanted attention the rapidly spreading Rove-melanoma at the very moment the White House is bending every oar to get attention the hell off of that particular issue.

So Jebus, if you could swing that, that’s be sweet.

Oh, and hot women.

If you could open the Progressive Heavens and shower this sinner with Libidinous Liberal Lasses, that’d be cool too.

Yours in You,

dg.