Sunday, June 19, 2005

Sunday Morning Comin'…Downing Street?



In which I try to jot down between apoplectic outbusts an impressionistic, completely subjective, biased and unfairly transcribed rendition of what I saw at the Mouse Circus this time.


Well, as most of the news-consuming public on the face of the Earth now know, there is a great, stinking corpse called Downing Street sprawled across the Potomac, rotting in the summer sun of Washington D.C.

Its decomposing trunk runs right through the West Wing of the Republican White House. Two of its many legs bestride the Republican Congress, the Republican Justice Department and the Republican Supreme Court.

Its bullwhip tail is coiled and laced tightly around the entire Lincoln Memorial, threatening to bring the words and legacy of the Great Emancipator crashing down under it’s dead weight.

So lets see how the brave Generals of the MSM flank and attack this Vital Story.

FOX SUNDAY:

I really can’t watch Condi Rice “disassemble” for too long. Chris Wallace actually asked her about the objectively obvious fact that the insurgency in Iraq is getting bigger and deadlier.

Condi said no, it’s not.

Chris wanted to know (we’ll, not really “know”) what about Cheney’s “last throes” comments.

She said something along the “larger picturish” lines. That you have to look past the violence, and over to the political, the social. See from THAT perspective...

Well, true enough, if you change you perspective, you do change what you’re looking as. Like if Condi just puts her head far enough up Bush’s ass, she can see what’s left of the peeled grapes she was feeding last night.

And if you look at Iraq from orbit. Around Uranus. With sunglasses on. AND with your head up POTUS’s poo-hole, well every little thing looks just peachy.

Iranian election. Short Version: Everyone knows that an election ain’t over until Fat Tony Scalia sings.

Condi: “How can any election that excludes thousands of people by fiat...be considered ‘legitimate’?”

And then her head totally didn’t implode, which sort of undermines my whole belief in a just and interventionist God.

I guess if they packed them on to “felony lists” in their Red States and then denied them the franchise that way, it’d be cool. Stoopid Ay-rabs.

Dick Durbin – Chris Wallace reformats (read: fixes the words around the Talking Points) what Dick Durbin ACTUALLY SAID so that he could pitch a positively Manwhore Gannonesque question. “Given Dick Durbin’s horrible, horribleness, does it make your vital job overseas more difficult knowing that he’s back here stabbing loyal Americans in the back?”

And then it’s “Newt!”

Can’t look anymore. Time to shotgun a beer or a fifth of Oban to make this palatable.

OK, I peeked back and found “Newt!” demanding Durbin be censured for what he didn’t say. For invoking Nazis. For the inflammatoryness of it all.

Cool. Gonna censure Little Ricky Santorum too for his cute Nazitalk? And all the craven little America-hating droolbucket politicians who snuggled into the ass-cracks of the “Michael Schaivo is a Nazi” Wahabi Christians and shouted “Me too!”

And really, of all the ambulatory bile-ducts who fester in the flesh of the GOP these days, to hear “Newt!” bitching about people using extreme and inflammatory language -- and again without the Divine Old-Testament Head Imploding Moment -- well it just makes me laugh.

I hope one day I'll be able to stop.

Sigh.

ON FACE THE NATION:

Biden. Is this a re-run?


THIS WEEK

Condi, same shit, different channel.

Same “throes” question. Same “Condi’s Greatest Hits” that runs on for five or six hours.

George asks, “Yeah, but, are they in the ‘last throes’?”

Condi does the big, Sharon Stone leg-cross. Razor-shaved into her pubes is a message that reads, “I will never, ever come within a mile of answer any questions about what a lying douchebag Dick Cheney is, so stop asking.”

Back on FOX...

...Juan Williams actually says that maybe it’s unfair to take Durbin’s comments out of context. I almost spit my Count Chocula all over my computer.


ABC
Chris Dodd. Bolton. Cool. Buy the DVD.


FOX
Juan Williams: The story here is that NO ONE on what has now demonstrably shown to have been the wrong side of this issue is willing to apologize .

(Oh, sure, Frist was weaseling and worming and scampering like a espresso-maddened slug in the path of a Sodium Chloride tidal wave trying to pretend what he said as a doctor on fucking tape...he never really said, and he wasn’t really acting as a physician.

But having looked carefully through my dictionary and lexicon, scrambling like a coward for lying cover from ones’s own words doesn’t really qualify as an “apology.”)


Brit Hume sez Apologize for WHAT? Fuck apologizing for anything. She was technically alive, so why was as it OK to kill her you murdering Liberal Bastards.

Yes, she was “alive” in the same sense that an amputated arm can be said to be “alive” for a brief time after it is cut away from the body...and MY haven’t we backed waaay the fuck off of the “She begged for pudding!” testimonials while hoping we all don’t notice what a pack of mendacious curs you are.

Hume is kind of refreshing in his pure, unalloyed thuggery. He has no demonstrable human emotions beyond rage and scorn and an unapologetically sneering contempt for any opinion other than his bigotry...no matter how overwhelmingly and objectively wrong that opinion may be. He in fact gets more and more pissy and intransigent the clearer the indefensibility of his opinion becomes.

He is – in one slab of maggoty pork – every single thing a “journalist” should shun and flee like the hanta virus.


ABC:
Katrina Vanden Heuvel kicking some ass around the block and down the stairs! Damn! I wuv this woman and she’s, uh, rather hot, if you don’t mind me saying.

She would not take today’s Durbin bait (viz, “Didn’t this horrible horrible Durbin dust-up change the subject?”) Instead she punches right back with “Sure, the Right Wing tried to change the subject, but the REAL issue is still the memo – the memo written by the FBI – and what the memo says about our torture policy. And if Durbin was provocative, so be it. "

People need to be angry about this.

As Dole said, “Where’s you outrage.”

George Will’s corset is again apparently boned up too tight and he all but swoons at the thought of actually conducing an Independent Investigation of Administration Policy

“Do you really want to bring the Special Prosecutor back,” Will gasps, snapping out his linen fan and plunging back into his tiny fainting couch. “That would be an admission that the Government doesn’t work!”

Huss you sassy mouth, missus, blasphemin’ ‘bout Special Prosecutors on the Lord’s Day right here in front of the chillun!

And yes, George, that is EXACTLY what it would be.

Torture? Murder? A War Without End in Iraq djinned up on lies? With – we find out now -- no way out ever even contemplate or planned for? That has already cost us all-too-dearly in blood and treasure and reputation...and is rapidly losing support among Americans broadly?

Of course I know it’s not as bad as a lie about a blowjob, but at what point exactly do even Bush media lapdogs have to start looking up and noting that – Holy Shit! -- there’s Big, Scary Meteor hurtling in our general direction.


MEET THE PRESS:

McCain. Afghanistan and Poppies! Poppies! Poppies!

Recruitment is down – way down – 40%. What happens if this continues?

McCain: We’re in trouble.

And then comes all of the hedging answers. Higher pay, shorter hitch. Back in the 70’s, airlines were hiring the Air Force’s best pilots away, so we made military more attractive.

Of course, back in the 70’s the Vietnam War was winding down, so the odds of getting shot at was decreasing by the day.

And of course the problem in Iraq isn’t pilots or swabbies, it’s getting enough 11B’s to patrol the lethal real estate of Iraq one foot at a time.

Then McCain sez regarding our “Muslim in the Iron Mask Policy” of eternal internment without charges or trials, “Even Eichmann got a trial.”

Whoa! And my immediate thought is, “Will we now censure John McCain for saying that we are, in this respect, actually behaving worse than we were with Nazis?”

And the 11 seconds later, Timmuh asks him the Durbin Question. McCain says Durbin should be required to read “The Gulag Archipelago” and to apologize.

Wow, 11 seconds after Eichmann falls so trippingly off his tongue, McCain has reversed himself so fast that I’m surprise his own dick didn’t get jammed up his own ass.

Then Timmuh throws the Fristy question at McCain. Big John comes back with, “I don’t want to criticize Bill Frist. I know he felt passionately about this issue.”

Maybe sorta, kinda like Dick Durbin is passionate about not letting our Pro Torture Policy let our Good Name flushed any further down the toilet.

So I guess maybe McCain should, uh, apologize and be required to watch, “Judgment at Nuremberg”, which was full of terrific performances, including the last known footage of Bill Shatner not wildly overacting.

ABC

Wow, when George Will puts on his Hooker Clothes and completely whores himself out, it is truly a repulsive sight to see. Reaching deep into his damp little anecdotal change-purse, the other GW comes up with a handful of quotes from 30 years ago saying that global cooling was going to be a problem, and reliably begins top dump the duplicitous “it’s all so confusing, so who can really say what’s right and what’s wrong” Republican chaff into the air.

Yes, George. Yes. This was not a consensus opinion at the time, but yes, some scientists – using 1975 weather models and punch card-computers with 16K of memory – got it wrong.

Well, d-fucking-uh, George.

And using 1610 technology, Galileo only saw he the four Galilean Satellites around Jupiter.

And the truckling George Wills of the day waved Artistotle in his face and said, “How can this ‘Science’ nonsense be trusted.”

See, that’s the charming part about Science; its strength and virtue and not its weakness you ass. That’s what I like about it. Good science is always combing over it’s own canon looking for errors, and gleefully pouncing on them to correct them. Science gets better and more accurate – especially as its tools get better, more powerful and more precise.

Duplicitous corporate and ignorant religious dogma, OTOH, never gets any better. In fact, the better Science gets, the more and more ridiculous those who hysterically cling to ludicrous, antediluvian doctrine or outright, corporate-sponsored lies look by contrast.

After all, like any crack whore, I’m sure on could get together enough loose cash to hire a Tobacco Scientist or Creationist with a degree in biology to say whatever the fuck I wanted them to. Which proves exactly nothing.

Stick to baseball, George: you make one butt-ugly transvestite.


FINIS...

So Downing Street? Nowhere to be found. Nowhere. Not a peep. Not a jot. Not a tittle.

Now maybe I just missed it.

Like you, I am easily distracted by shiny objects.

Like you, I have certain involuntary bodily functions – like shrieking at the teevee whenever Condi Rice (who works for Me and You!) just strolls right on past legitimate questions about the behavior of the Administration and hocks a loogey into its hair – and so might have been otherwise occupied when someone, somewhere in the Major Media on the morning that they devote exclusively to the pressing political issues of the day mentioned the most important story since The Pentagon Papers for a tenth of a second.

Like you, I’m just a humble mortal, not some kinda Justice League combo-platter Doctor, Senator and Man of God capable of making Magic Remote Diagnoses of people from a slip of video tape seen 800 miles away.

And, like you, I am also incapable of turning right around and putting on a Superhero-Strength display of Convenient Selective Amnesia Like Unto When a Cocoanut Hits Gilligan on the Head when it comes to remembering that I did what I said in front of cameras.

So I may have missed it...but I kinda doubt it

44 comments:

Anonymous said...

Judgment at Nuremberg was a pretty damn good movie, with great performances by Judy Garland (kinda fat), Werner Klemperer, Burt Lancaster, Spencer Tracy, Marlene Dietrich...

Anonymous said...

Why do watch this s#it?
I pulled the plug on cable a year ago. These people really don't matter-do they really have an influence on public opinion?
Will, Woodruff, Russert .. you take away Sunday morning and they have no jobs. Daily Kos carries the schedule for this drek and people get in a tizzy on what these morons debate.
I guess I'm not into watching car wrecks or beheading videos. Some things you have to make a decsion to ignore-Sunday Pundit Land is one of them.

Like I said I pulled the plug a year ago. The other night I was at a friend house to fix a computer-while we were waiting for some software to do something he suggested we watch the news. He turned on CNN and Nancy Grace appeared. Man I couldn't believe that s#it. It was visual and audio offal.
You give up watching pundits of any kind for at least 6 months and then turn them on.. don't be surprised if it's like you are see ing some obscenity for the first time. Repellant.


These TV pundits don't matter. Pull the plug.

I can't rememember the quote exactly-but there was an old Left-wing newletter writer based in Washington DC- 'Ziggy' Stone. He said something to the effect you couldn't trust any journalist who ate lunch with a politician or was on a first name basis.
These fvckers have been bought and paid for long ago.

Things are happening in the blogs-not Sunday Pundit Land.

Anonymous said...

Thank Christ you are on MY side in this unending hellish circus we call governmedia (at my house anyway). I'd hate to be on the receiving end! I do enjoy being on the "reading end" of things though!
Also, thanks for watching. I actually can't anymore. Nauseating.

Anonymous said...

I'm right there with you every Sunday morning and apparently we feel EXACTLY the same way about what we see. I just love your way of telling it!!!

This is my first visit to your site, and I surely will return. You are now on my must see list.

Anonymous said...

You watched all that shit? How was the Oban? ;-)

PS- Steve's right. And if the "LLL" hasn't made her appearance yet, at least go to that dive that inspired the great post a month or so ago.

Walt said...

“Even Eichmann got a trial.”

Um, it was the Jews who tried Eichmann.

Little historical note, too: Some neocon asswipe said something about the DSM being a little memo written by a "low-level bureaucrat," and therefore of no consequence.

I submit that the Wannsee Protocol, which essentially started the Holocaust, was written by a low-level bureaucrat.

Anonymous said...

Hey pissed off patricia, welcome to the site. And this post was only a forerunner, the merest foreshadowing, of the insanely clever rants of THE MAN, Drifty. Please read a few more, if you're not hooked, YOU GET YOUR MONEY BACK! That's right, I have it on good authority that DriftMan will give you your money back if you don't like his site. This is one of the very few money back guarantees in Blogistan.

Tell your friends.

Anonymous said...

Now, now, shame on you all, for past-tripping on all this meaningless, trivial, (Okay. As described by Drift, so beautifully) shit.

We should focus on the GOOD news!

And, (ahem!) here is some of it.

Ibrahim Jaafari is coming to do a "brag and tell" with junior.

This little visit is fraught, I tell you FRAUGHT!!!, with implications...

As the parade of Iraqi "leaders" coming over to schmooze with bush gets more and more, uh....realistic, it occurs to me, that if the fecal matter continues to impact the whirling blades of the Iraqi fan, what with bushCo's desperation to "accomplish the mission" we could conceivably see Al Zarqawi addressing the United States Senate, as Bill Frist beams approvingly, at the wonders of realpolitik.

I mean Jaafari, only a few short weeks ago, was indulging in the kind of exercising of his democratic rights that makes Scott McClellan's shoes smile. He was deeply involved in the kind of debate that could only take place in the "new" Iraq.

To wit:

Is it okay for a woman to publicly shake hands with a man?

Also, I have read that bushCo had tried to use our "allies" the French and Germans, to pressure Jaafari and Sistani into dropping their policy of purging the "power ministries" of Defense, Intelligence, Interior, and Oil, of Baathists and Saddamists. So far, no luck.
(This particular pogrom, of course, contributes to deletorious effects such as murderous carbombings and tit-for-tat assassinations...not to mention awkward questions for Dick Cheyney and Condi, about "throes" and last-gasp twitchings, on the part of the insurgents...)

I think, in Jaafari's agreeing to come here and star in bushCo's latest porn-flick, "Ibrahim does D.C.", are some implicit, if not explicit, truths.

Junior is so god-awful desperate, that he will cut ANY deal, suck ANY camel-dick, for a little extra serious help in trying to get a handle on the insurgents.
He knows that our own military people IN IRAQ are speaking out publicly, and saying that we can't "win" militarily, that there has to be a political solution.

To get Jaafari "over", he must have given him a "marker" that would make Tony Soprano cream his trousers. ("Which testacle would you like? Both? That'll work!", comes to mind...)

Hell, I'd LOVE to see Jaafari speaking to the combined Senate and House. He could talk touchingly, about the decade-and-a-half he lived in Iran, and what good friends he made there, among the Mullahs.
I mean, can you imagine the Iranian parliament, as the images of Jaafari being welcomed by junior are put up on large-screen TV?
Forget the cat that ate the canary; this is the asiatic tiger that ate Kennebunkport and the Crawford ranch, garnished with the Halliburton headquarters building.
How the mighty have fallen...junior reduced to begging the Shiites to donate some of their hard-won seats, as freebies, to the Sunnis, in the hope that they'll start ratting out the insurgents.

Of course, if he can't get THAT from Jaafari, junior will have to do it the hard way, and go to his "fallback" to pan-handle for more SCIRI Militia, to help us with the Sunni-hunt.

God knows what this little visit will cost him, and us, but at this stage, to steal a rhyme, you-can-bet-your-ass-and-a-gallon-of-gas ($4 a gallon gas?) that Jaafari has taken some "speed" lessons in english, and has learned how to ask:

"Mr. President, can you say "mid-terms"???"



Lily Tomlin:

"No matter how cynical you get, you can't keep up..."

(I bet Lily Tomlin is one two-fisted little piece of ass...)

Anonymous said...

go tanbark! yaHOOOOOO!
and uh, that's "testIcle" dear one :-)

driftglass said...

antid_oto
And lest we forget Maximillian Schell…

anonymous,
Sometime I do; sometimes not. Sunday Morning is the Big Game for MSM political media. It’s where memes are launched and trial balloons are turned loose...after they’ve been tricked out and dressed in earth tones so as not to scare the children. Its where millions of my fellow citizens who bother to check out politics at all, but don’t want to invest a lot of time, go to feed.

Yes, it’s Cliff’s Notes For Dummies and Liar’s Poker all rolled up into one, but it’s where the bovine political middle goes to graze, and in behooves me to understand what they’re being led to believe are Burning Issues, and what stories are being embargoed.

Sometimes there is a very clear residue of design in what they say and do – and what they omit.

That and I just wanted an excuse to say “bovine” and “behoove” in the same sentence :-)

steve,
See the above…and I also watch for the sport of it. And I did meet a pal of mine for a beer and a slice this p.m., but it was a guy and we mostly talked Chicago Teacher’s Union biz.
Still, good beer and a fine day outside.

Us blues,
Nah, no LLL visible on the horizon. I do not expect her to arrive anytime in the foreseeable future.

walt,
Exactly so; “rendered” him off to Jerusalem for trial, and thence to the noose. I was only (and obviously inartfully) trying to make the point that if McCain wanted to keep Nazi-related metaphors out of the discussion because the reality of the Nazism is so off-the-charts that it can’t be compared to anything, he sure as hell shouldn’t be invoking Eichmann a heartbeat before making that argument. “McVeigh” would have made the point better, cleaner and more appropriately IMHO.

And “Judgment at Nuremberg” is famous – most people know it – but not perfectly on point. I think frankly that I let my desire to take a swipe a Shatner get the better of me. :-)

fast eddie and pissed off patricia,
thank you kindly. And All Sales Are Final.

Prof Bible Belt,
Thank you. Some of them I enjoy writing…and some really do take something out of me. The piece on Schwartzmiller the serial child molester was much harder to write that I thought it would be, and has affected me all weekend.

Tan,
Hey pal. I dunno if you listened to the audio archive over at Gilly's of Henry Cabot Lodge talking about Vietnam in '65, but its just god damned eerie. And bless Steve for digging it up and putting it out there.

Anonymous said...

BTW, I think Drift is right to keep up with some of this shit.

I know how tough it can be to do it, sometimes, but other times, it's a comfort to know just how stupid and dishonest the azzhats are.

Still pisses me off to watch the MSM licking their asses and avoiding the tough questions...

Anonymous said...

Drift, yeah, I listened to some of it, but I admit, this was one that, if you'd have handed me a yellow legal pad and said "Write Henry's speech for him and I'll give you $500...", I'd have earned at least $250 of it.

I was young, and angry, even back then, at this generic bullshit that they continually try to feed us; this mule-fucking cornholing of the truth that is their stock in trade.

I couldn't bear to hear it again. Tonight, it didn't make me laugh, or fire me up. Just wore me out.

I mean, it was a great idea from Steve's fertile brain, to put it up, but it just bore down on me.
How can our learning curve be so flat?

And, J.Ed, I can usually spell testicle, but I was gettin' pissed as I wrote, and that plays hob with the motor skills, for me, sometimes.

But hey, after writing that, it dawned on me, that bushCo will do literally ANY-FUCKING-THING to avoid having to eat this. They will cut any deal.

And here's the shit of it; this has all been about them distorting and fucking with time. They will cut deals with Sistani, with Sadr, with anyone, to string out the denoument of this blood, shit, oil, and soap, opera.
Just like they're trying to defer the economic chickens from coming home to roost, they'll do the same thing with the political "bill" for the occupation and the war.
But, we're onto 'em...and with the help of people like Steve and Drift, they won't be able to skate this.

As Richard LoCicero said on Steve's, we have to discredit these assholes for at least a generation, and I believe that's what will happen.

Civic Center said...

We had a Maxmillian Schell DVD festival at my place about four years ago (don't ask) that included "Topkapi," "Krakatoa, East of Java" and of course "Judgment at Nuremberg," which I'd never seen before. Max was a good actor, but that particular performance as the Nazi lawyer was the most overwrought, Oscar-baiting (I believe he won it), William Shatner-like terrible overacting I've ever seen. It's a truly classic "bad" performance.

And so are the commentators and hosts on the Sunday news shows. Good for you for persevering through their bad acting and lies, and bringing us frontline reports, because frankly I can't watch them without my skin starting to crawl.

Anonymous said...

One movie you should see with Maxmillan Schell is the 'Condemned of Altona' (1962)-problem is it isn't on VHS or DVD. Watch for it TV or Art House Movie sites
Plot outline: Based on a story from Jean-Paul Sartre about WWII and the NEW Germany from German eyes. The central character, Franz Gerlach (Schell), has kept himself locked in the attic of his father's mansion for many years because his Nazi war crime past.
His father (played by Fredic March) plays a Krupp type industrialist. When Schell is finally "released" and goes out into the city Hamburg to see what Germany has become, he is repulsed. (Remember this is the Hamburg of 1962) Saw it decades ago-in glorius black and white. Sophie Loren is in it to.
___________________________________

Well like I said I don't look at beheading videos, car wrecks or Sunday Pundit Land.
But when I was at the NYT website....
I read David Brooks today - "What makes Bill Frist run?"
All I want to know is.... is NYT serious in thinking people will pay to read this jackass?
I mean honest I was just surfing through the that website and I saw this car wreck.

Anonymous said...

Christ, drift, you are a better man than I am, Gunga Din. You actually get out of a nice warm bed for _this_?!?! :)

Anonymous said...

To (perhaps) end this thread, let me cite a truly horrific Futurama episode. It's the one where Bender becomes human, then indulges all his vices. He becomes very, very, very, very, fat. He dies. They roll him off the stage towards an exit, and the episode ends with: "Now that you've watched it, you can't unwatch it."

That's the way it works here. "All Sales Are Final." "Now that you've read it, you can't unread it."

This site is both the Horror and the Glory of blogging. Enter at Your Own Risk. No One Permitted On Ride Shorter Than This Line. No One May Sue No Matter How Damaged Their Psyche May Be After Reading.

Anonymous said...

To which I would add:

"Confusion has it's cost."


We are not confused.

We KNOW who and where Willy Wonka and the Shit-Factory are.

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