Sunday Morning Comin'…Downing Street?

In which I try to jot down between apoplectic outbusts an impressionistic, completely subjective, biased and unfairly transcribed rendition of what I saw at the Mouse Circus this time.


Well, as most of the news-consuming public on the face of the Earth now know, there is a great, stinking corpse called Downing Street sprawled across the Potomac, rotting in the summer sun of Washington D.C.

Its decomposing trunk runs right through the West Wing of the Republican White House. Two of its many legs bestride the Republican Congress, the Republican Justice Department and the Republican Supreme Court.

Its bullwhip tail is coiled and laced tightly around the entire Lincoln Memorial, threatening to bring the words and legacy of the Great Emancipator crashing down under it’s dead weight.

So lets see how the brave Generals of the MSM flank and attack this Vital Story.

FOX SUNDAY:

I really can’t watch Condi Rice “disassemble” for too long. Chris Wallace actually asked her about the objectively obvious fact that the insurgency in Iraq is getting bigger and deadlier.

Condi said no, it’s not.

Chris wanted to know (we’ll, not really “know”) what about Cheney’s “last throes” comments.

She said something along the “larger picturish” lines. That you have to look past the violence, and over to the political, the social. See from THAT perspective...

Well, true enough, if you change you perspective, you do change what you’re looking as. Like if Condi just puts her head far enough up Bush’s ass, she can see what’s left of the peeled grapes she was feeding last night.

And if you look at Iraq from orbit. Around Uranus. With sunglasses on. AND with your head up POTUS’s poo-hole, well every little thing looks just peachy.

Iranian election. Short Version: Everyone knows that an election ain’t over until Fat Tony Scalia sings.

Condi: “How can any election that excludes thousands of people by fiat...be considered ‘legitimate’?”

And then her head totally didn’t implode, which sort of undermines my whole belief in a just and interventionist God.

I guess if they packed them on to “felony lists” in their Red States and then denied them the franchise that way, it’d be cool. Stoopid Ay-rabs.

Dick Durbin – Chris Wallace reformats (read: fixes the words around the Talking Points) what Dick Durbin ACTUALLY SAID so that he could pitch a positively Manwhore Gannonesque question. “Given Dick Durbin’s horrible, horribleness, does it make your vital job overseas more difficult knowing that he’s back here stabbing loyal Americans in the back?”

And then it’s “Newt!”

Can’t look anymore. Time to shotgun a beer or a fifth of Oban to make this palatable.

OK, I peeked back and found “Newt!” demanding Durbin be censured for what he didn’t say. For invoking Nazis. For the inflammatoryness of it all.

Cool. Gonna censure Little Ricky Santorum too for his cute Nazitalk? And all the craven little America-hating droolbucket politicians who snuggled into the ass-cracks of the “Michael Schaivo is a Nazi” Wahabi Christians and shouted “Me too!”

And really, of all the ambulatory bile-ducts who fester in the flesh of the GOP these days, to hear “Newt!” bitching about people using extreme and inflammatory language -- and again without the Divine Old-Testament Head Imploding Moment -- well it just makes me laugh.

I hope one day I'll be able to stop.

Sigh.

ON FACE THE NATION:

Biden. Is this a re-run?


THIS WEEK

Condi, same shit, different channel.

Same “throes” question. Same “Condi’s Greatest Hits” that runs on for five or six hours.

George asks, “Yeah, but, are they in the ‘last throes’?”

Condi does the big, Sharon Stone leg-cross. Razor-shaved into her pubes is a message that reads, “I will never, ever come within a mile of answer any questions about what a lying douchebag Dick Cheney is, so stop asking.”

Back on FOX...

...Juan Williams actually says that maybe it’s unfair to take Durbin’s comments out of context. I almost spit my Count Chocula all over my computer.


ABC
Chris Dodd. Bolton. Cool. Buy the DVD.


FOX
Juan Williams: The story here is that NO ONE on what has now demonstrably shown to have been the wrong side of this issue is willing to apologize .

(Oh, sure, Frist was weaseling and worming and scampering like a espresso-maddened slug in the path of a Sodium Chloride tidal wave trying to pretend what he said as a doctor on fucking tape...he never really said, and he wasn’t really acting as a physician.

But having looked carefully through my dictionary and lexicon, scrambling like a coward for lying cover from ones’s own words doesn’t really qualify as an “apology.”)


Brit Hume sez Apologize for WHAT? Fuck apologizing for anything. She was technically alive, so why was as it OK to kill her you murdering Liberal Bastards.

Yes, she was “alive” in the same sense that an amputated arm can be said to be “alive” for a brief time after it is cut away from the body...and MY haven’t we backed waaay the fuck off of the “She begged for pudding!” testimonials while hoping we all don’t notice what a pack of mendacious curs you are.

Hume is kind of refreshing in his pure, unalloyed thuggery. He has no demonstrable human emotions beyond rage and scorn and an unapologetically sneering contempt for any opinion other than his bigotry...no matter how overwhelmingly and objectively wrong that opinion may be. He in fact gets more and more pissy and intransigent the clearer the indefensibility of his opinion becomes.

He is – in one slab of maggoty pork – every single thing a “journalist” should shun and flee like the hanta virus.


ABC:
Katrina Vanden Heuvel kicking some ass around the block and down the stairs! Damn! I wuv this woman and she’s, uh, rather hot, if you don’t mind me saying.

She would not take today’s Durbin bait (viz, “Didn’t this horrible horrible Durbin dust-up change the subject?”) Instead she punches right back with “Sure, the Right Wing tried to change the subject, but the REAL issue is still the memo – the memo written by the FBI – and what the memo says about our torture policy. And if Durbin was provocative, so be it. "

People need to be angry about this.

As Dole said, “Where’s you outrage.”

George Will’s corset is again apparently boned up too tight and he all but swoons at the thought of actually conducing an Independent Investigation of Administration Policy

“Do you really want to bring the Special Prosecutor back,” Will gasps, snapping out his linen fan and plunging back into his tiny fainting couch. “That would be an admission that the Government doesn’t work!”

Huss you sassy mouth, missus, blasphemin’ ‘bout Special Prosecutors on the Lord’s Day right here in front of the chillun!

And yes, George, that is EXACTLY what it would be.

Torture? Murder? A War Without End in Iraq djinned up on lies? With – we find out now -- no way out ever even contemplate or planned for? That has already cost us all-too-dearly in blood and treasure and reputation...and is rapidly losing support among Americans broadly?

Of course I know it’s not as bad as a lie about a blowjob, but at what point exactly do even Bush media lapdogs have to start looking up and noting that – Holy Shit! -- there’s Big, Scary Meteor hurtling in our general direction.


MEET THE PRESS:

McCain. Afghanistan and Poppies! Poppies! Poppies!

Recruitment is down – way down – 40%. What happens if this continues?

McCain: We’re in trouble.

And then comes all of the hedging answers. Higher pay, shorter hitch. Back in the 70’s, airlines were hiring the Air Force’s best pilots away, so we made military more attractive.

Of course, back in the 70’s the Vietnam War was winding down, so the odds of getting shot at was decreasing by the day.

And of course the problem in Iraq isn’t pilots or swabbies, it’s getting enough 11B’s to patrol the lethal real estate of Iraq one foot at a time.

Then McCain sez regarding our “Muslim in the Iron Mask Policy” of eternal internment without charges or trials, “Even Eichmann got a trial.”

Whoa! And my immediate thought is, “Will we now censure John McCain for saying that we are, in this respect, actually behaving worse than we were with Nazis?”

And the 11 seconds later, Timmuh asks him the Durbin Question. McCain says Durbin should be required to read “The Gulag Archipelago” and to apologize.

Wow, 11 seconds after Eichmann falls so trippingly off his tongue, McCain has reversed himself so fast that I’m surprise his own dick didn’t get jammed up his own ass.

Then Timmuh throws the Fristy question at McCain. Big John comes back with, “I don’t want to criticize Bill Frist. I know he felt passionately about this issue.”

Maybe sorta, kinda like Dick Durbin is passionate about not letting our Pro Torture Policy let our Good Name flushed any further down the toilet.

So I guess maybe McCain should, uh, apologize and be required to watch, “Judgment at Nuremberg”, which was full of terrific performances, including the last known footage of Bill Shatner not wildly overacting.

ABC

Wow, when George Will puts on his Hooker Clothes and completely whores himself out, it is truly a repulsive sight to see. Reaching deep into his damp little anecdotal change-purse, the other GW comes up with a handful of quotes from 30 years ago saying that global cooling was going to be a problem, and reliably begins top dump the duplicitous “it’s all so confusing, so who can really say what’s right and what’s wrong” Republican chaff into the air.

Yes, George. Yes. This was not a consensus opinion at the time, but yes, some scientists – using 1975 weather models and punch card-computers with 16K of memory – got it wrong.

Well, d-fucking-uh, George.

And using 1610 technology, Galileo only saw he the four Galilean Satellites around Jupiter.

And the truckling George Wills of the day waved Artistotle in his face and said, “How can this ‘Science’ nonsense be trusted.”

See, that’s the charming part about Science; its strength and virtue and not its weakness you ass. That’s what I like about it. Good science is always combing over it’s own canon looking for errors, and gleefully pouncing on them to correct them. Science gets better and more accurate – especially as its tools get better, more powerful and more precise.

Duplicitous corporate and ignorant religious dogma, OTOH, never gets any better. In fact, the better Science gets, the more and more ridiculous those who hysterically cling to ludicrous, antediluvian doctrine or outright, corporate-sponsored lies look by contrast.

After all, like any crack whore, I’m sure on could get together enough loose cash to hire a Tobacco Scientist or Creationist with a degree in biology to say whatever the fuck I wanted them to. Which proves exactly nothing.

Stick to baseball, George: you make one butt-ugly transvestite.


FINIS...

So Downing Street? Nowhere to be found. Nowhere. Not a peep. Not a jot. Not a tittle.

Now maybe I just missed it.

Like you, I am easily distracted by shiny objects.

Like you, I have certain involuntary bodily functions – like shrieking at the teevee whenever Condi Rice (who works for Me and You!) just strolls right on past legitimate questions about the behavior of the Administration and hocks a loogey into its hair – and so might have been otherwise occupied when someone, somewhere in the Major Media on the morning that they devote exclusively to the pressing political issues of the day mentioned the most important story since The Pentagon Papers for a tenth of a second.

Like you, I’m just a humble mortal, not some kinda Justice League combo-platter Doctor, Senator and Man of God capable of making Magic Remote Diagnoses of people from a slip of video tape seen 800 miles away.

And, like you, I am also incapable of turning right around and putting on a Superhero-Strength display of Convenient Selective Amnesia Like Unto When a Cocoanut Hits Gilligan on the Head when it comes to remembering that I did what I said in front of cameras.

So I may have missed it...but I kinda doubt it