Run!

Run for your lives!

When in the hell did we become “Chimp butcher to the world”?

Prosecutor looks into Lincoln Park Zoo deaths
By Jamie Francisco, Tribune staff reporter. Tribune staff reporter Jeff Coen contributed to this report
Published May 17, 2005

The Cook County state's attorney's office announced Monday it is looking into a recent spate of animal deaths at Lincoln Park Zoo after an animal rights group expressed concerns about zoo conditions.
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Since October, three elephants, three monkeys, two gorillas and a camel have died at the zoo. Also, the arm of a small ape was amputated last month after he broke it when he reached out for food.

Officials said there was enough of a public outcry to warrant at least a general review. Milan said the first part of his work after meeting with Devine Monday was to look at potential legal issues surrounding the animal losses.

Milan said he would monitor information as the zoo deaths are considered and would speak with workers there or anyone else necessary to understand what happened.

"I certainly do plan to interview people, and we will see this through wherever it goes," Milan said.

PETA submitted a letter to the state's attorney's office Monday expressing concerns about the number of recent animal deaths at the zoo, especially those of three langur monkeys who died after they were moved into an exhibit that previously housed gibbons.
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One elephant died from old age. The other two appear to have died from a rare lung disease they might have contracted before being shipped two years ago to Lincoln Park from the San Diego Zoo's Wild Animal Park, local zoo officials said.

Nine days after the most recent elephant death--that of 36-year-old Wankie on May 1--a Francois langur was found dead in its exhibit. Two other langurs, endangered monkeys native to southern China and Vietnam, died in the next two days.
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Zoo officials said they have asked the American Zoo and Aquarium Association to review the zoo's practices.
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Jesus Christ. What the fuck is going on at Lincoln Park? And FYI, if you’re not from Chicago, you probably never heard or don’t remember that not very long ago the Shedd Aquarium used to be the place that Beluga whales were greeted by a full kiss on the mouth by the Aquarium Staff and told, “I know it was you Fredo!” and were then found floating belly-up a few weeks later.

I love the Shedd, and the Adler Planetarium (which, to my knowledge, has never actually killed a planet), and the Field Museum (which features only already-dead animals): They’re all part of the museum campus created when Lake Shore Drive was lifted up and moved several hundred yards west.

I love the Museum of Science and Industry. The Art Institute. Even the obscure Museum of Holography (about three blocks away from Oprah’s studios), but when in the fuck did Chicago become the anti-Noah’s Ark? Where zoo animals have a higher mortality rate than rival mob families that have gone to the mats?

So, with apologies to Shel Silverstein (who wrote “Unicorns (Green Alligators)”) and the Irish Rovers (who recorded it), the Lincoln Park Zoo Theme Song:

“We’ll kill green alligators and long-necked geese
Waste some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Frag cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
We’re never gonna off no unicorns.”