The Moderate Republican Bathroom

Hypocritical? We prefer "Romanesque".

Listening to the GOP pianola play and play and play, a couple of things come to mind.

First, if you’re a Republican “Moderate” and have a shred of conscience left and still play the belly-crawling apologist for the Shining Path Majority in your party, you really should install one of those sturdy, double-handled marble sinks they used to have in Roman Vomitoria or in certain Germany beer-intensive bars. There is a certain sickly stench that comes from combining being corporate whores, preeningly self-righteous parodies of Real Christians and monumental hypocrites that can override the gag reflex of even the most veteran porn star.

And second – and speaking of porn stars – sometimes one can only stand in awe in a watching-the-Side-Show-Freaks kind of way at how much raw, ventriloquist skill it takes to have absolutely Calugilan quantities of corporate meatpole rammed up Republican asses and down Republican throats...while they still managing to positively shout out phrases like “godly” “people of faith” in clear, bell-like tones.

Which brings us to the soon to be approved United Airlines Corporate Gangbang and Employee Picnic.

Welcome Retirees!

For all the verbal sleight-of-hand, this issue is really, really simple. United Airlines promised to pay its employees a pension at a certain rate. The employees have, in fact, been willing to suffer cut after cut, set-back after set-back, on the explicit promise that their pension would be protected.

United now wants to renege on the deal.

Cutting through the “powerful stench of mendacity”that now reeks from of the corpse that is all that’s left of the Original Party of Lincoln, where do you think the GOP stands on this issue?

If only we had some public statements from Republican leaders on the subject of debt and the repayment thereof, or the role government should play in protecting those who the GOP believes can’t protect themselves, so that we could judge to see what it would sound like if the GOP had actual principles and actually adhered to them?

Oh wait a minute; turns out we do.

Just swap out the doublethinkful phrase “bankruptcy reform bill” or the Wingnut Chanting Manta phrase “Terri Schiavo”, and let’s slot the "Ownership Society" roll into the Republican player-piano and see how it sounds...

This from April 20th From Herr Senator Doktor U.S. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist,

“Today’s signing of the Don’t Let United Airlines Weasel Out Of Its Responsibility Bill marks a major step towards eliminating abuses in our court system, and ensures that those who have the means repay their debts. These reforms will lower the burden on all Americans who are currently paying the price for these abuses in the form of higher interest rates, higher down payments and higher costs of goods and services. I’m proud of this victory for personal responsibility and fairness. And I look forward to continue passing legislation that makes a difference in the lives of the American people, and moves our country forward."

And this from February 2nd from Senator Charles Grassley

For Immediate Release

GRASSLEY RENEWS EFFORT TO REFORM THE “Don’t Let United Airlines Weasel Out Of Its Responsibility Bill” CODE

WASHINGTON -- Sen. Chuck Grassley late yesterday introduced legislation to overhaul the nation's Don’t Let United Airlines Weasel Out Of Its Responsibility Bill.

"It's time to promote responsible borrowing while also ensuring the safety net offered by bankruptcy. It was not intended to be a convenient financial planning tool where deadbeats can get out of paying their debt scott-free while honest Americans who play by the rules have to foot the bill," Grassley said. "Someone has to pick up the tab when United Airlines gets out of repaying their own debts. When losses are frequent and the economy is weak, businesses are more likely to raise prices for other consumers to offset those losses."

And this from the Lizard King himself

To: National Desk

SUGAR LAND, Texas, March 31 /U.S. Newswire/ -- House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas)

"Allowing United Airlines to fuck over its employees is a moral poverty and a legal tragedy. This loss happened because our legal system did not protect the people who need protection most, and that will change. The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior, but not today. Today we grieve, we pray, and we hope to God this fate never befalls another."

So let’s hear that Paean to the Ownership Society now, Republicans!

Forgotten the words?

We here, let me sing a few bars and see it this sounds familiar:


The fact that United Airlines chose to have children when its financial situation was shaky is sad, but it’s not my problem...

If United Airlines taken the trouble to plan for it’s future and taken advantage of a Health Savings Accounts, then a catastrophic illness wouldn’t have hit them this hard...

When did United Airlines’ abusive husband become my fucking issue? Maybe if United Airlines would quit being a crybaby and playing the victim card and start taking some Personal Responsibility...

Perhaps if United Airlines had put the energy into getting off its ass and getting a JOB that it put into whining about how hard life is, it wouldn’t be in this position...

If only United Airlines hadn’t frittered away its money on hookers and booze.

On crack and Lotto...

Wasn’t such a hussy...

Worked two jobs. Worked three jobs...

Worked smarter...

Economized...

Saved its money instead of pissing it away...

Gone to church...

And so forth.