How Not To Interview For a Job...Unless You're a Never Trumper

While cooling my heels in Twitter jail (yet again), I had time to think about the many, many job interviews I've had over the past 40 years.  The ones where I got the job, the ones where I was sure I'd gotten the job but didn't, and the ones where I realized I'd made a huge mistake the minute I walked in the door.

They were all different, but for every job for which I have ever applied, there was always some bare minimum threshold of presentability and competence I had to meet.

For example, to score that sweet stock-boy gig at Sears or that file clerk job at CNA, all I had to do was show up for the interview on-time and reasonably sober.  But to get hired on as a director of software development or as an assistant commissioner for the City of Chicago or as a grant manager for a non-profit I had to turn my pockets all the way out -- answer every question about previous jobs I'd had from a whole panel of deciders, pee in a cup a couple of times (not in front of the interviewers), pass an extensive background check and generally prove beyond any reasonable doubt that I could be trusted not to use office equipment to make 10,000 photocopies of my ass or loot the place the minute they gave me my keys and swipe-card.

The general rule for job interviews is, the more specialized, influential, lucrative and sought-after the position, the tougher and more intrusive the interview will be.

Which, in turn, set me to wondering about the actual jobs for which the Never Trumpers in the media are applying, and how they are conducting their de facto job interviews.

Take for example the little fella pictured here on the right.

That is Mr. Rick Wilson.  And as you can tell from this transcript from The Daily Caller (no link because they are terrible) Mr. Rick Wilson is filled from the soles of his feet to the ippy tippy top of his head with a giddy, unconcealed contempt for Republican voters.  I have thrown in a little emphasis to guide your eye:

It Took This CNN Panel Just 80 Seconds To Show What They Really Think Of Trump Voters

CNN anchor Don Lemon, frequent CNN guest Rick Wilson and New York Times op-ed writer Wajahat Ali (who is also a CNN contributor) rolled out nearly every possible stereotype about Republican voters in a segment that aired Saturday night but didn’t really catch the public’s attention until Monday.

...
Wilson went on to sneer at “the credulous boomer rube demo that backs Donald Trump, the ones that think that” — and here he broke out into a Southern accent — “Donald Trump’s the smart one, and there all y’all, y’all elitists are duuuumb.” Lemon laughed even harder.

Ali chimed in: “You elitists, with your geography and your maps and your spelling.” At this point, Lemon was laughing so hard that he pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his tear-filled eyes.

Wilson, still in a faux Southern accent, added: “Your math and your readin!'”

“Yeah, your readin’, your geography, knowing other countries, sipping your latte,” said Ali.

“All those liiines on the map,” said Wilson, continuing to use the fake accent...

And having provoked the reaction he was looking for, Mr. Rick Wilson continued poking the stupids with a pointy Twitter-stick:

"@TheRickWilson has fired back at his critics today, attacking the ‘phony outrage’ and the ‘Trump fundraising grifters milking the MAGA herd.’" By Cockburnhttps://t.co/dWu1mBjt3Z

— Spectator USA (@SpectatorUSA) January 28, 2020

Now as someone who has made sport of the mentally underclocking Republican denizens of Sisterfuck, Arkansas for decades, I have no objection to noobs joining in the fun at this very late date.  No, what raises all kinds of alarm bells with me is the fact that, up until about five minutes ago, Mr. Rick Wilson was a firebrand defender of the patriotism and good ol' Murrican common decency of those very same "credulous boomer rubes" against the slings and arrows and elitist stereotypes of Libtards like me.

And Mr. Rick Wilson didn't side with those "credulous boomer rubes" decade after decade for free ( or for whatever happened to land in his tip jar during any given week.)  No sir, Rick Wilson was very well-paid to whip 'em up, dumb 'em down and point them at the voting booth for those very same "Trump fundraising grifters" he now openly mocks.   In fact, it would be fair to say that "milking the MAGA herd" on behalf of Republican scumbags running for office put the roof over Mr. Rick Wilson's head and put his boat in the water.

So while we Libtards were using our itsy-bitsy platforms to warn of the Republican nightmare that was bearing down on us (from me in 2014) --

Yes, there are jaw-droppers to be found throughout the thing and those are what you have read about everywhere else, but what fascinated me was the walking, talking proof of how successfully the Times has bio-engineered a Conservative who, in his pastel-necktie, timid-voiced, aw-shucks manner, is every bit as delusional as any "Kenyan Usurper"-sign waving, Limbaugh-loving, wretch from the swamps of Sisterfuck, Arkansas.

-- here is the sort of thing veteran Republican ratfucker Rick Wilson was up to on behalf of his Republican clients back during Obama's second term:

Putin: "My working and personal relationship with President Obama is marked by growing trust. Also, he looks hot in the gimp suit."

— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) September 12, 2013

Then came the election of 2016, and the issue of the Never Trumper's presidential losing streak, which is something no one seems to ever get around to mentioning every time they'e gassing on and on about their nonpareil electoral genius.

Remember, despite all of Rick Wilson's bluster and all the racist bullshit Rick Wilson's ad shop threw against him, Barack Obama thoroughly spanked John McCain's ass in 2008.

And four years later, the Kenyan Usurper beat Mittens von Romney like the proverbial rented mule.

And four years after that, Donald Trump easily knocked off every sacrificial candidate Mr. Rick Wilson and every other Never Trumper offered up during the Republican primaries, which is the real reason the Never Trumpers hate Trump.  They hate him precisely because he understood how the Republican Pretty Hate Machine worked so well that he was able take it away from Rick Wilson and Bill Kristol and Charlie Sykes and all the other Never Trumpers who have been perfectly content to cultivate and focus the rage and racism of the GOP base for decades... as long as everybody agreed not to talk about it in public.

After all, there is no evidence whatsoever that Mr. Rick Wilson or any other Never Trumper ever objected to the ruinous policies of their Republican Party -- massive, crippling tax cuts for the wealthy, the gutting of social safety net programs for everyone else, packing the courts with unqualified, prepubescent wingnuts, sweeping rollbacks of every regulation that keeps our water drinkable, our air breathable, our soil arable, and workers safe, and obstructing the hell out of everything else...

...while there is overwhelming evidence that the reason Never Trumpers were esteemed and well-rewarded by the Republican Party (until they were kicked to the curb) was that they were highly skilled in the loathsome tactics Republicans used enact those ruinous policies -- slagging Democrats as America-hating, terrorist loving scum and injecting continuous, massive doses of Stoopid and Paranoid into the skulls of the Republican base.

For Never Trumpers, this was Trump's unforgivable sin: pulling the curtain back on the Republican Pretty Hate Machine --

-- and showing the world exactly how the trick was being done by saying out loud all the horrible, hateful, deranged shit that been the GOP's electoral rocket fuel since before Reagan but which the mainstream media agreed never to mention because acknowledging the truth of it would demolish the foundation of  their entire Both Siderist theology.

Which brings us to those heady, late-2016 days when Paul Ryan was scrambling all over hell's half-acre looking for a political fence to straddle, and rodents like Jason Chaffetz (who has apparently not looked his daughter in the eye at any point in the past four years) were trying to make something called "endorse-but-not-support" (aka "Splunge") happen.

This was the moment when the Never Trumpers ran the numbers and made what seemed like a safe and rational calculation -- that the nomination of Donald Trump would lead to a Hillary Clinton victory, and the implosion of the Republican Party.  And as I have mentioned before once or twice, since Never Trumpers are  untroubled by principle and guided by ruthless expedience, by casting themselves as the  Republican "We Told You So" coalition in 2016, they believed they would be positioned to sweep to power as the saviors of the Party of Reagan after the inevitable election of Hillary Clinton.

But that didn't happen.  And it didn't happen because -- exactly as we dirty, America-hating Libtards had been warning for decades -- that "MAGA herd" of  "boomer rube" Republican chumps had been flattered and stroked and pandered to and glorified so relentlessly for so long by men like Rick Wilson that they had swollen to become the overwhelming majority of the Republican party.

And that overwhelming majority of the Republican party nominated and elected a lying, pig-ignorant racist lout precisely because he was just like them.

And thus having spent decades fouling their own nest (and calling us dirty Libtard commies for calling them out on it) did the Never Trump coalition find themselves -- bootless, reviled and faced with whatchacall an "involuntary career change opportunity" from their Republican Party -- knocking on our fucking door demanding positions on our fucking team.

And you know what?  If Rick Wilson wanted to decamp to Indiana Harbor to pass out Bernie Sanders fliers at the gates of the ArcelorMittal steel plant at 5:00 AM,  I'd be 100% cool with that!  And if Charlie Sykes wanted spend three nights a week at Democratic Party HQ in Kenosha,Wisconsin phone-banking for Amy Klobuchar, I'd say more power to him!

However before we hire any of these sketchy deviants for any position with our organization (which, up until five minutes ago, they were calling the Enemy of All That Is Good And Decent) don't you think it's only prudent and fair that we actually interview them for those positions?  I mean, shit, man, even Rally Burger checks potential candidates for open sores and outstanding felony warrants before they suit 'em up to get your order wrong, spit in your food and give you incorrect change, right?

Democratic Party HR:  So what position are interviewing for?  Election judge?  Canvasser?

Never Trumper:  Nah.  I figure I should run the place. Tell you idiots what you're doing wrong.  Decide who your candidates should be.  That sort of thing.

Democratic Party HR:  I see. 

Never Trumper:  Also I don't really want to change my standard of living or exert myself in any way.  Whatever the gig is, it should be indoors and extremely lucrative.  I should be able to keep my own hours, and definitely no heavy lifting.

Democratic Party HR:  Anything else? 

Never Trumper:  Well obviously it should come with my own paid byline in a major American publication.

Democratic Party HR:  Anything else? 

Never Trumper:  A paid cable teevee appearance contract with CNN.

Democratic Party HR:  Anything else? 

Never Trumper:  Another paid cable teevee appearance contract with MSNBC.

Democratic Party HR:  Anything else? 

Never Trumper:  Couple of book contracts would be nice, along with wall-to-wall promotion of my books on all the major Liberal podcasts, radio shows and on cable teevee.

Democratic Party HR:  Anything else? 

Never Trumper: Yeah, I don't want to ever find myself in any venue where any nosy asshole can ambush me with impertinent questions about my past.

Democratic Party HR:  Well...that brings us to a rather substantial gap in your resume.  It says here that you were a founding member of the "Never Trump movement" in 2016. 

Never Trumper: That's right.

Democratic Party HR:  So exactly how big is this "movement"? 

Never Trumper (pausing to count): I'm thinking...maybe...roughly...a dozen.  Or so.

Democratic Party HR:  A...dozen? 

Never Trumper:  Give or take.  Hard to know exactly.  For example, Glenn Beck was a Never Trumper until he wasn't.  And sometimes Ann Coulter calls Trump a shithead, which automatically makes her a Never Trumper Hero in good standing, but later she say'll he's a genius and we have to kick her out again.  So call it a dozen.  More or less.

Democratic Party HR:  And this "movement" started in 2016? 

Never Trumper: Correct.

Democratic Party HR:  So what about your previous work history?  What were you doing before 2016? 

Never Trumper: That is none of your god damn fucking business!!!

Democratic Party HR:  If that's your answer I'll write it down, but I can assure you that anything you say here will be held in the strictest confidence.
Never Trumper (laughs, drops voice): Well, as long as it's just between you and me and the War on Christmas tree...

Democratic Party HR:  Strictest. Confidence.
Never Trumper: Well, in that case I guess it'd be fair to say that I've spent the past 25 years or so...shitting all over everything you hold dear.  For money.

Democratic Party HR:  In what capacity?
Never Trumper: Republican monsters gave me a LOT of money to scare bigots and imbecile into voting for them by slandering Libtards like you.  I also helped the last Republican president lie us into the wrong war, defended him like a pit bull no matter how badly he fucked that war up, and called people like you traitors when you spoke out against it.

Democratic Party HR:  And do you have any other marketable skills?  Like welding or lawn care?
Never Trumper: None whatsoever.

Democratic Party HR:  So, to summarize, you've spent your entire professional life slandering Liberals for money in order to get Republican monsters elected.  You lost the last three presidential elections.  Badly.  And then your party kicked you out.  You are openly contemptuous of the rank-and-file of your former party for the very traits which you helped to cultivated and relied on to win elections. You have no other marketable skills.  You will clearly turn on you own team at the drop of a hat if the price is right.  And your entire "movement" consists of around a dozen people just like you.
Never Trumper: Yep.

Democratic Party HR:  And you are here today demanding that we of the Liberal Elite hire you not to ring doorbells or hand out leaflets, but in some sort of executive/media position which you will use to lecture us about how everything we are doing is stupid and wrong.
Never Trumper: Correct.

Democratic Party HR:  And in exchange for this, uh, service, actual articulate Liberals who have been right about you and your former party all along will be pushed aside so that you can be gifted (checks notes) "a byline in at least one major American news publication, multiple paid cable news appearance contracts with multiple networks, a 'couple' of book contracts along with a guarantee of wall-to-wall media promotion of your books on all major Liberal podcasts, radio shows and cable teevee." Does that about cover it?
Never Trumper: Pretty much.

Democratic Party HR:  Cool!   How soon can you start?

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