As you might remember, former "Meet the Press" ruiner, Mr. David Gregory, was unceremonious exiled to the Land of Misfit Pundits back in 2014, Today, Mr. David Gregory survived by a much smaller version of the original model -- mr. david gregory -- who appears to spend a lot of time seated precariously on a bar stool between idiots on CNN's "We Are The World"-sized political panels, speaking in various backwoods locales which have not yet gotten the word that he is no longer Mr. David Gregory and flogging his book on his personal spiritual journey which may or may not be entitled."Zen and the Art of Selling Out Journalism For Money".
However it would be cruel and wrong to think that mr. david gregory left no lasting influence on his profession.
For example, one of his innovations back when he was Mr. David Gregory of "Meet the Press" was to make sure that at no point were the fleeting and ridiculous opinions of Mr. David Brooks of the New York Times underrepresented. When Mr. David Brooks was available, Mr. Gregory would read reverently from his latest New York Times blatherings and then ask Mr. Brooks what he thought of his own writings, after which the panel of Beltway inbreds and shut-ins would ooh and coo over Mr. Brooks' inerrant wisdom.
It was such an obvious bit of Beltway parasitic symbiosis that even I noticed it and touched upon the subject of it once or twice.
When Mr. Brooks was not available. Mr. Gregory would read aloud from his latest New York Times blatherings anyway, skip the part where he asks what Mr. Brooks thinks of his own writings, and go straight to the oohing and ahhing by the panel of Beltway inbreds and shut-ins.
And while mr. david gregory is no longer is favor at court, fragments of his legacy live on. Like, for example, this morning on Morning Joe, in a segment during which Mika the Meat Puppet reads reverently from Mr. David Brooks latest New York Times blatherings and then asks Mr. Brooks what he thinks of his own writing (from Crooks & Liars):
The point Mr. Brooks' makes about Republican tribalism is both perfectly correct --
Brooks: ... Being part of the partisan tribe is like people's ethnicity now. They'll support anybody who's in favor of the ethnic tribe. One of the most amazing polling statistics this year was asked of evangelical voters. They asked, would you tolerate somebody with bad morality if they were a good public leader and about ten years ago, like 31% said yes so they would not tolerate somebody with bad personal morality. Now it's like 70% say yes. They totally will tolerate somebody with bad personality and bad personal morality. That's not because they've had some change in philosophy. They've got Donald Trump at the top of the ticket...
-- and completely ludicrous.
Brooks: ... When I was 25 we made this huge distinction, Jeff, you knew Bill Buckley, he was my mentor. We made a huge distinction between conservatives who had some beliefs and Republicans who were chamber of commerce types who would sell you out ... It's not conservatism, it's Republican tribal identity.
In 1986, when David Brook was 25, Nixon's Southern Strategy had already been up and running as the Republican Party's operating system for 20 years. Conservative hero Ronald Reagan had already declared war on government and factual reality, had made it abundantly clear that he was on the side of America's angry, Southern white bigots, and had open the front door of the White House to Conservative evangelical scum like Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and Paul Weyrich.
So where the hell was Young David Brooks back when all this was happening?
Where the hell was he when, one year later, in 1987, Conservative hero Ronald Reagan garroted the Fairness Doctrine and turned Mr. Conservative, Rush Limbaugh, and his hundred wingnut copycats loose on America.
Where was Mr. Brooks in 1994 -- which was 22 god damn years ago -- when the Republican Party finally and officially delivered its soul into the hands of Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich?
Was Mr. Brooks marching in the streets? Was he on the barricades, screaming bloody murder that the Party of Reagan was being eaten alive from within by fascists? Was he at least writing fierce op-eds on the perilous perils that were bearing down on us all?
Oh hell no.
While all of this was going on, Mr. Brooks, Mr. Fred Barnes and Bloody Bill Kristol were very busy using a big 'ol wad of that sweet, sweet Rupert Murdoch money to found The Weekly Standard -- America's premier journal of Neocon Fuckery. And it was while he was slandering Liberals and buttering up Republicans for Bloody Bill Kristol that Mr. David Brooks began his own little cottage industry of biannually predicting (as I wrote earlier this week on my little, non-Rupert Murdoch-funded blog):
... the imminent arrival of an American Conservative Renaissance: that great, Comin' Home to Reagan day of glory when every Conservative tear will be wiped away. When there will be no more Rush or Coulter or crying or pain, for the old order of things will have passed away.
A cottage industry of patent medicine, whitewashed history and false prophecy that has been in continuous operation right up to this very day.
Or course, every one of the human husks and finger-puppets on the Morning Joe panel knows this, just as they surely must know Dr, Paul Krugman of The New York Times has already thoroughly gutted the core Brooksian fairy tale of a pure and noble Golden Age of Conservationism that never was:
Conservative Intellectuals: Follow the MoneyBoth Ross Douthat and David Brooks have now weighed in on the state of conservative intellectuals; both deserve credit for taking a critical look at their team.But — of course there’s a but — I’d argue that they and others on the right still have huge blind spots. In fact, these blind spots are so huge as to make the critiques all but useless as a basis for reform. For if you ignore the true, deep roots of the conservative intellectual implosion, you’re never going to make a real start on reconstruction.What are these blind spots? First, belief in a golden age that never existed. Second, a simply weird refusal to acknowledge the huge role played by money and monetary incentives promoting bad ideas...
And of course, it wouldn't be a proper Morning Joe/David Brooks crossover episode without a designated stooge to go way out into left field and fetch back a big bucket of Both Siderist horseshit to slather all over the proceedings. This morning the mortal remains of Mike Barnicle got the duty:
Barnicle: Let me ask the both of you, start with you, David, you made the conscious decision several months ago, you wrote about it, to leave the offices, go out in the country, see what people are thinking, write about what people are thinking about in this country.
You know the word "hero" is often overused. But to actually go out among the people? After 20 years of sitting behind a desk in the Beltway bubble, being paid a king's ransom to speak with sweeping authority on the state of a country about which you clearly did not know the first fucking thing about? And spend, what, 15 or 20 minutes on drive-by's in the hinterlands talking to people who will confirm your biases?
The word "hero" hardly seems big enough
Barnicle: Yeah. So do you think that this campaign on both sides, on both the Democratic side and the Republican side, the candidacies, the verbiage of the campaign has injected a virus into the body politics that is going to be with us for several years after this election is concluded?
And there it is. That shot of Beltway Both Siderist dopamine that makes all the clowns up in the network's executive suites happy.
Everything running smoothly now. Everything going to plan.
Meanwhile, somewhere far from the lights and cameras, mr. david gregory sits on his sofa, yelling at the teevee.
"That's my bit! They stole my bit!"
Yes they did, david. Yes they did.
Behold, a Tip Jar!