Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Begin The Gingrich Rules Countdown Clock

Sure,  watching a publicly disgraced con man and serial adulterer like Newton Leroy "Advocate of civilization, defender of civilization, teacher of the rules of civilization, arouser of those who form civilization, organizer of the pro-civilization activists, and leader (possibly) of the civilizing forces." Gingrich...

...appear on a television network which until recently had been run as the personal brothel of disgraced liar and serial sexual predator Roger Ailes... order get pissy with Megyn Kelly about her "fascination" with sex and her lack of ethics...

...was epic.

From the New York Times:
Newt Gingrich and Megyn Kelly Get Into Bizarre Exchange on Live TV

And the follow-on weirdnesses from inside the various precincts of the Wingnut Death Star as it blows up real good were equally hilarious.

Paula Jones Calls Megyn Kelly A ‘Nasty Heifer’ After Contentious Interview With Gingrich
From The Hill:
Trump praises Gingrich for Megyn Kelly interview: 'We don't play games'
But for us old internet hands, now the real game begins:  counting down to see which Important Teevee Media Person draws the short straw and is stuck with the task of helping to rehabilitate Newt's public image this time.

Because as we have documented in painstaking detail on this blog over the course of many years, those are The Gingrich Rules:
In the game of professional punditry there also clearly exists a special set of rules designed with one person on mind.  Or, rather, one sort of person: Conservatism's parade of bomb-throwing, hate-mongering, race-baiting bottom feeders.  That breed which makes their daily bread from grifting the Pig People by generating an endless flood of books, magazine articles, broadcasts, speeches and videos all telling the GOP base over and over again that their bigotries are noble and their paranoia is patriotic.

Of course, part of the downside of wallowing in the wingnut sewer and trafficking in slander and lies is that, sooner or later, you become a toxic mess.  Your stink becomes unacceptable to the general public, which s where the Sunday morning talk shows -- the Mouse Circus -- comes in.   Because despite having long ago devolved into a sinkhole of Beltway centrist twaddle, it is still viewed by altogether too many people as a bastion of Very Serious people -- it's the strip-mall of political opinion where casual shoppers go to feel smart and validated.

And so a bargain is struck; the bottom feeders deliver a temporary hike in the only thing these show's owners really care about -- audience share -- and, in exchange for being teevee friendly and keeping the worst of their batshit crazy on a leash for a few minutes, their Mouse Circus deburrs the bottom feeders' public image, replates and burnishes their credibility and temporarily transfuses them with Seriousness, which can then be redeemed at ten times its face value back among the Pig People.

And in the key to that bargain we find "The Gingrich Rules":  an agreement that the moderator will never, ever ask the bomb-throwing, hate-mongering, race-baiting goon sitting directly across from them a single question about their bomb-throwing, hate-mongering or race-baiting activities.  Instead they will be represented to the public merely as a Conservative commentator or talk radio host or pundit who, at worst, might be known for some "controversial" opinions, which the moderator will never bother to explicate.
And as we all know perfectly well, The Gingrich Rules can only be destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom where they were forged.

Behold, a Tip Jar!


RUKidding said...

No love lost on my part for nasty, lying liar, racist, white supremacist War on Xmas Megyn Kelly. Clearly she's a bright woman who sold out a long time ago, and if she had to put up with Roger Aisles' disgusting sexual perversions? Well no one deserves that, but then speak up, lawyer up and get the fuck out. Oh? The money's good. Yeah, right.

Anyhoo this dust up of Kelly v Gingrich was something to behold. Clearly Kelly did get the better of nasty disgusting deplorable awful Newt who then commenced to the rightwing default position of slut-shaming Kelly. Quelle surprise.

Yeah, well rolling in the muck and mire is just par for the course at Fake Noise, and so there you have it. I would say kudos to Kelly for getting that fat fuck all pissed off, but, on second thought: Nah. They deserve each other. Fuck 'em both.

Who will rehabilitate each? Oh who knows? Who cares. They'll be both be rehabilitated, showered off and ready to rumble against the horrible libruls in 5... 4... 3...

After all: standards, people!

bluicebank said...

"And as we all know perfectly well, The Gingrich Rules can only be destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom where they were forged."

Good one, Drift. Allow me to point out, though, that it took a creature with short fingers to do the deed at Orodruin (albeit by stealing it from another short-fingered Hobbit and then clumsily slipping off the cliff, but still).

So if there is any poetry in the Small Hands of Fate, the Gingrich Rules are already halfway up to the Sammath Naur, where a vulgarian enamored with gold will ... well, you know the story.

MRjonz54 said...

This was Mr. Newtron's Sister Souljah moment. It was way funnier than Bill's.

Robt said...

is there a side to be on here?

Meb "all you children out there just know Santa is white and always has been Kelly vs

Pig S-newt Gingrich.

Like who goes out and actually makes a cognizant effort to book Newt? This Trump Surrogate gig is going to end soon.

maybe S-newt is auditioning for an hour long show of his own on Drumpf Alt TV.
This dude was Speaker of the House?

Day it meban, say it. I double dog dare you to say it.
Besides in it for the money. Newt has to know his commodity value has dropped considerably. Like Rudi who is probably on his last Hurrah. They need to go beg to the liberal Hollywood for Fred Thompson's old job on law and Order.

Robt said...

And which one had bile coming out of their eyes, out of their snout,coming outfrom everywhere?