Wednesday, June 01, 2016

A Wingnut Family Affair


Starring Bloody Bill Kristol as "Uncle Bill"

and introducing

David French as loyal manservant "Mr. French"


In this week's exciting episode, "Doing The French Mistake"...

Having scoured the comment sections of literally dozens of right wing blogs looking for just the right combination of anonymity, unctuousness and crackpottery to fill out the top of his Patriotic Neo Hunker Constitutional Conservative Liberty Freedom Party ticket, Uncle Bill Kristol finally discovers the manservant of his dreams: a humble National Review pot-scrubber and part-time lunatic named David French.

He returns to the ruins of his nearly-abandoned family plantation deep in the wingnut jungle to bring his family the happy news!

Unfortunately the other members of the household have other ideas, leading to hilarious consequences!  From The Hill:

Conservatives rebuff Kristol’s third-party pick

A group of prominent conservative activists, including writer and radio host Erick Erickson, aren’t satisfied with Bill Kristol’s suggestion of David French as a third-party candidate and are still looking for another alternative to presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump.

The activists are working separately from Kristol, the editor of The Weekly Standard, who favors French, according to two sources familiar with the discussions.

“We’re not going to be jumping on board with what Kristol is doing,” said a person involved in the discussions. “We learned about this from the media along with everyone else.”

Organizers of the self-described Conservatives Against Trump group said Kristol’s decision to champion French, a conservative writer, constitutional lawyer and decorated Iraq war veteran, took them by surprise, especially because French has a relatively low public profile.

“This is like flipping open the phone book and picking someone on page 325,” the source said.

The group includes Erickson; South Dakota businessman Bob Fischer; Bill Wichterman, a former adviser to President George W. Bush and former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.); conservative columnist Quin Hillyer; and strategist Liz Mair...

Next week... "The Coming of the Conservative Kilkenny Cats"
There once were two cats of Kilkenny
Each thought there was one cat too many
So they fought and they fit
And they scratched and they bit
Till (excepting their nails
And the tips of their tails)
Instead of two cats there weren't any!

9 comments:

Lit3Bolt said...

Pfft. Republicans voters want a REAL silverback alpha snowy white yet slightly orange male to fling poo at the darkies, not a Swabbie 3rd Class who moderates the puke funnel all day for chunks of explicit racism and Nazism.

Funny that all of the Doctor Victor Frankensteins in the house are suddenly discovering that their monster is bigger, stronger, and dumber than them, and has the hots for their wives and cabana boys.

RUKidding said...

Gee whodathunk that Erick Son of Erick Son of Erick would be bright enough to figure out that anyone chosen by Bloody Bill Kristol would be a dead loser??

I can't remember Erick Son of Erick's initial reaction to Snowbilly Grifter. Did he genuflect to her fabulouousness like most of the rest did?? If so, guess even a dimwit like Erick Son of Erick finally figured out what a meth-addled alcoholic dumbfeck she was and totally unfit for duty.

But Bloody Bill got the tingles all up and down his legs when he espied Bible Barbie and had no compunctions about foisting her idiocy and word salad on the rest of us hapless proles.

Maybe some old dogs, like Erick Son of Erick Son of Erick, can learn some new tricks. Of course, the big Question is: who the eff will Erick Son of Erick pick as the anointed one? One awaits in breathless contempt for that zinger.

Robt said...

I think Mr French is an exquisite choice from Bloody Bill.
French has that "out from under a rock" aura about him that could twitch the trigger finger of a NRA extreme enthusiast, love the fetus hate the child, South gonna rise again, only republican can rule (even if that republican is the essence of a Hitler light) conservative.
Although I had high hopes Mr Bloody might have conjured a Louie Gohmert/ Wayne LaPierre ticket.
You must be aware the competition is about to get little elbow room. With the libertarian Party, the Green Party. Oh, and the Bloody never Trump Party.

Bloddy's Palin gave us "word salad". Will Mr French bring us "phrase soup"?
A three course word meal is the limit...........

** You have been selected to choose and Vet VP candidates. So choose.

Hillary/ ?

Trump/ ?

Dog Faced Herman said...

I'd like to see you come over here to 'New Earth' and blog this shit.

RUKidding said...

Let's go old skool: ROTFLOL!! I just discovered who the eff David French is anyway. Pardon my prior ignorance, but of course! Bloody Bill wants David effen French to run as the Never-Trumpeter. David French is the husband of Bible Spice's ghostblogger, Nancy French.

Yeah, Bloody Bill, that's JUST the ticket! Any link to Tundra Trash will do.

What a tool. How does Kristol manage to get paid?

Snort!

Davis Statton said...

"Decorated" Iraq war veteran. Thinking Audie Murphy? He got a Bronze Star while lawyering with JAG over there. One of 111,000 given out. Notice I didn't say "awarded".

Donald Walsh said...

We are witnessing Bill Kristol install flashing neon lights around his dawning irrelevance. Do some more Bloody Bill! You missed a spot!

Green Eagle said...

I know, how about Katie Pavlich? She can spin a conservative lie with the best of them, and she's a GIRL! And BETTER LOOKING that Hillary!!!

keith gargus said...

Dig up Admiral Stockton. He has experience as a towed target.