Monday, March 14, 2016

Who Taught You How To Do This Stuff?

Today's episode of "The Lies of Our Days" in which Fox News killbot Gretchen Carlson helps recently-resigned Breitbart spokesraptor, Kurt Bardella, cry in his beer over the teddible, teddible treatment that Breitbart management is meting out to its underlings is probably the single funniest god damn thing I have seen in a month (big h/t Crooks & Liars).


Well, at the center of their bill of particulars is this (alleged) assault on a Brietbart "reporter" by Donald J. Trump's campaign "manager":
Six employees of Breitbart, the conservative news and opinion site founded by the late Andrew Breitbart, have quit over its response to the alleged assault of one of its reporters by Donald Trump's campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski.

On Friday, Breitbart reporter Michelle Fields filed a criminal complaint against Lewandowski for allegedly grabbing her and dragging her to the ground at a Trump rally Wednesday in Jupiter, Florida. Police in Jupiter are investigating the incident. Ben Terris, a reporter for The Washington Post, claims the incident happened as Fields described it.
The upshot is that six Breitbart employees (so far) have jumped ship over this incident (and rightly so) because Breitbart management's allegiance is clearly to Trump (who is lying) and not their own employee (who is not lying). But what is the Existential Context of the grievance that these former Brietbartians are bringing to Gretchen Carlson's door?  What is the Broader Sociological Issue which distresses and vexes and completely baffles Ms. Fields and Ms. Carlson and Mr. Bardella?

It is the fact that Ms. Fields has evidence, damnit!  Hard, objective data.  Eye-witnesses. Audio tape.

And yet...

And yet...

And yet...

You show these facts to the Trumpshirts and they (sob) ...  they just don't (sob) ... they just don't care!

It's almost as if (sob) the Trumpshirts are somehow (sob)  completely impervious to facts and reason!

And then Fox cut away to (no kidding) live coverage of unhinged Wasilla escapee and former Fox News employee, Sarah Palin, doing her rambling English-in-a-Cuisinart, Liberals-are-the-Terrorists-You-Betcha Dance of the Seven Rills schtick in front of a crowd of rapt Trumpshirts.

(pause to compose myself)

Well golly, Michelle.  And gosh, Kurt.  And Jiminy Christmas, Gretchen.  Where oh where in the Wide World of Sport do you suppose that Donald J. Trump's vast and ignorant wingnut army picked up this teddible, teddible habit of belligerently ignoring objective reality in favor of the feel-good fairy tales that some yapping right-wing liar was spinning for them?


RUKidding said...

It's not "like" Facts don't matter, Gretchen (and crew from Breitbart). It IS that Facts, indeed, do NOT matter, never have, and never will in the "world" according to Rupert Murdoch's Fox, as well as Still Dead Breitbart's whatamacallit.

I wish Michelle Fields well in her search for justice vis her literal manhandling by a Chief of Trump's goon squad (whom, I understand, lied and said he was across the room at the time, and Fields was manhandled by his doppleganger or something, so blame Hitler, I think).

But what is WITH Michelle Fields accepting employment from a scum sucking bottom dwelling lying "outfit" like Breitbart? And then, to top it off, expecting the "management" to support her Facts of the Matter v a Master of the Universe who is saying it ain't so.

Guess Michelle didn't get the Memo that, at Breitbart, the Narrative is created to fit the desired Message and pesky facts must be shunned and avoided at all costs. And sucking up to the Masters of the Universe takes uber alles.

Did someone hit Gretchen Carlson on the head or something? I would've thought she knew the party line better than that.

Jimbo said...

I was initially tempted to say that this amazing Faux News story indicates that it is very seriously unself-aware but then I remembered this is Fox, the most cynical and grotesque "news network" in the history of American news organizations and they knew exactly what they were doing.

jim said...

Shorter: "No! This is unpossible! The brown end of the stick is pointed the wrong way! BAAAAAAW!!!"

Anonymous said...

Bwwwhhhhaaahhhaa, Michelle you were a supporter of Trump's and now, now, you are shocked the organization that "is like super-PAC for Donald Trump, Has ditched you in your extremis. Just who did you think you were working for lady? He said he was gonna change the libel laws. Did you think that would only include the dirty hippy liberal media. Its like Julius just got thrown under the volkisch bus. Its like Carlin said, its a club and you ain't in it.

Chan Kobun said...

Once again, the right gets a taste of what it's been like to have been a liberal for the past forty goddamned fucking years.

And no sir, they don't like it.

simon said...

It's nice that they managed to make time to get around to BOTH SIDES by the end of the segment.

Davis Statton said...

As Bob Dylan asked, "How does it feeeeel?