Monday, March 07, 2016

Dinesh D’Souza: The Triumphant Return Of America's Third Most Famous Hairless Conservative Rodent


Having watching the trailer for Dinesh D’Souza's 90-minute version of every ALL CAPS email you have ever gotten from Crazy Uncle Liberty, I have learned four things.

First, through the magic of film-making, the eight-months D’Souza spent in a half-way house for being a cheating weasel can be transformed into a heroic journey of noble endurance, personal discovery and transformation somewhere on the spectrum between Bruce Wayne escaping the hell pit



and Alan Alda in The Glass House



Second, through the magic of film-making, D’Souza can transform the massively well-documented history of slavery and civil rights in America -- which can be found in any of a million high school text books, John Lewis comic books and Ken Burns documentaries -- into a dark and terrible cover-up which can only be unraveled by prison-hardened Dinesh D’Souza working it out clue by agonizing clue in his Beautiful Mind conspiracy bunker.


Third, through the magic of film-making, the last 60 years of American civil rights history has mysteriously disappeared from D’Souza's tale of the coming Hillary Clinton Apocalypse.  Turns out, Jon Stewart was wrong; you really can "just 'yada, yada, yada' the last 60 Republican years".  In fact, you can make a tidy profit doing so if your target audience is not, say, Howard University students (video is preceded by advertisement):


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but instead the kind of easily-fleeced Conservative meatheads who think that Dinesh D’Souza is a serious thinker.

Fourth -- and most important of all --  instead of taking up an honest trade during his time at Shawshank, the only skill Dinesh D’Souza apparently learned was to use the magic of film-making to beef up

Every



Single





Batshit



Talking



Point



With



A



Big



Inception



Bwaaaah!

Think I'm kidding?  Well here you go...




6 comments:

Robt said...

As God sits by on his throne watching.
America needs a superHero to rise up.

maybe a league of superHeroes.

A League of extraordinary conservative nuts bags.

I have no idea why they just don't go to their place of worship and pray it all away. They say they believe. But they do not follow their own beliefs.

Only a small unintrusive Government could build a wall and make Mexico pay for it.

kilo50 said...

Dinesh gives a bad name to weasels and all rodents. That someone could be resurrected from the immoral and obvious situation of being bought heart and soul by the reactionary PTB is somewhat forgivable to any critical, if there is such a thing, conservative but to to swallow his serial monogamy and gross lechery just shows exactly how much Jebus means to them. Hatred and spite are their gods. Fear is the Holy Ghost.

Kevin Holsinger said...

Good afternoon, Mr. Glass.

(movie trailer voice) He was framed for a crime he totally committed. (bwah!) Now he's out for revenge he totally doesn't deserve. (bwah!) One man. (bwah!) One scapegoat. (bwah!) Dinesh D'Souza thinks he is...The Fugitive.

"I didn't kill my wife!"
"Nobody said you did! What the f*ck are you talking about?"

*Dinesh dives off a waterfall*

Be seeing you.

Neo Tuxedo said...

In the immortal words of Malcolm Tucker, it's like The Shawshank Redemption, only with more tunneling through shit and no fucking redemption.

keith gargus said...

I noticed ol' Doughy Pantload has a leading role in this POS. That should be good for a chuckle. I wonder if his mommy made him change his underwear before filming.

lordprivyseal said...

Wow, seriously?! OK, I'm sure there'll be some laughs to be had watching D'Souza follow Ben Stein ("Expelled") into cinematic history. However, that trailer (and presumably the film itself) is pure, high-octane hate propaganda. The Democratic Party is not a political party made up of a Republican's fellow citizens, no: it's an Evil Conspiracy of cackling Confedrates out to wipe the United States from the face of the Earth. Dinesh isn't gonna say that Democrats ought to all be lined up and shot, but...Democrats ought to all be lined up and shot, amirite? BWAAAAA!

Aside from some cognitive dissonance (Right wingers: "Wait a minute, the Democrats are on our side? Are we s'posed to cheer when the n----- woman's gettin' beat or not?") from the people who have made sabotaging the United States Government their officially stated and implemented policy and who actually get the votes of the Confederate sympathizers (project much, Mr. D'Souza?), the message of this film seems to be that it's just not possible to go too far in hating the people on the other side of the aisle. Dangerous stuff, IMO (at least if anyone actually watches it). Time to order a Union blue Civil War kepi...