Friday, February 15, 2013

John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the...

...Press"! 

John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! 

Did I mention that they finally, finally got

The J.D. Salinger American politics himself: John Sidney Jumpjet Hoarfrost Hardcheese Ironstag Thunderbung Gogurt Titclamp Shamwow Keating Five Pyroclast McCain III 

They did!  
They really did!

And now you can tell your children, 
your grandchildren and your
great-grandchildren you were there the day you heard...

John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! 

John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! 
John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! 

John McCain! 
 Exclusively! 
 On "Meet the Press"! 
John McCain! 
 Exclusively! 
 On "Meet the Press"! 

Did I mention 
"Exclusively"?

John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! 

Did I mention it's not just any show, its
"Meet The God Damn Press"?

John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! 

Isn't that exciting!?!

John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! 

Call your friends!  
Cancel church!  
Ring the carillon!

John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"!

Light
The
Mother
Fucking
Beeeeeacons!

Because...

John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! John McCain! Exclusively! On "Meet the Press"! 

 Oh boy!

It has been reliably reported that John By God McCain will be sharing the spotlight for some reason with serial political failure and Destroyer of Companies Carly Fiorina, and serial Conservative liar Alex Castellanos about whom more than enough has already been written.

It has also been reliably reported that, per the Beltway Media's ancient and inviolable "Gingrich Rules", by virtue of drawing the short straw at last week's Secret Media Cabal meeting, this week The Clinton Guy Shocked By Blowjobs (h/t Charlie Pierce) assumes the solemn responsibility for bringing coffee and donuts to the next Secret Media Cabal meeting, passing out the agenda ("Item One:  Defend the prerogatives of the rich to the death") and re-re-rehabilitating the public image of Baron Grifthausen:


Grifthausen

Any of which, in a normal week, would be considered almost unbearably exciting.

But, of course, this is not a normal week. 

And none of it can hold a candle to...

 John McCain! 
Exclusively! 


On "Meet the Press"!

19 comments:

Pinkamena Panic said...

So lemme see if I've got this.

John McCain.
Exclusively.
On Press the Meat.

wagonjak said...

Why do I get the idea you're mildly irritated by McCain's weekly appearance on Meet The Press?

marindenver said...

Hilarious, thank you! And I just wish someone could explain to me why anyone at any time would care what Carly Fiorina has to say on any topic whatsoever.

David said...

Or, to borrow a phrase from Tom Stoppard, that's John McCain inclusively on Meet The Press.

Ice9

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
wjbill49 said...

Are you serious?
This week?
THE John McCain? From the great state of Arizona?
THE Arizona?
Home of Merika's sheriff Joe?
and home of the bestest governor evah?
Wow how can one state produce so many wonderful people?

prof_fate said...

And your point is ... ?

(Jes kiddin') Thank the FSM for word processors and cut-and-paste, or I'd picture you doing a Jack Nicholson in The Shining after finishing this.

"Heeeere's Drifty!"

When McCain finally makes his raging, spittle-flecked exit from this mortal coil, I predict he'll be immediately replaced by an animatronic facsimile. He's just that essential to the Mouse Circus.

Wildly off topic, but that anonymous comment is going to have me worrying about this all day:

"I'm gonna be careful for brussels."

What, the city, or the vegetable?

"I will appreciate in case you proceed this in future."

Now who can argue with that? I hope you leave its comment up as a brilliant example of authentic spammed gibberish!

Unknown said...

After McCain's shenanighans this week, I was wonder IF HE WAS GONNA SHOW UP ON MEET THE PRESS THIS WEEK! Oh fucking boy am I a psychic!

Bisham said...

I have also located that the driftglass site is informative! And thanks for informing me that JMc will be on MTP.

Be careful for brussels,

sincerely, Bisham

D. said...

Sorry; what? I missed that.

(PS: That's my favorite scene in Return of the King.)

Earl said...

God Damn.

Extra Points For Subtlety.

I Love This Post.

Yastreblyansky said...

I shall totally be benefited from your writing. You shall be #1 to people who Google "meet the press exclusive john mccain" or maybe just "press john" or "exclusive meet" and both meet the press and john mccain will become famous even though john mccain was famous before when he used to be on the daily show sometimes. They shall totally be benefited. If I see any brussels around here I shall keep you informative.

nancydrew said...

I keep trying to add your editorial comments to the twitter. Keep failing. :-\

I believe there must be meteor dust interference.

gruaud said...

I larfed.

It is just ludicrous: it started as just ridiculous, became laughable, went to extremely annoying, and then just became inextricably hilarious.

I actually say small prayers that McCain shows up on MTP forever.

It is the classic overly-long gag, with no end in sight.

jollyroger said...

Stab me and sink me, Driftglass. Show some respect! Speak no more of this "Gingrich"!. He is Newt, The Macpherson!

Sean Riley said...

Woaahhh, now, hooold on a fer chrissake one second here, let me get this straight...

tmk said...

...hey, Drifty:

comment spammer @ 1:36pm...

Brooklyn Girl said...

Why do they just give his own show and be done with it?

Sam Baker said...

http://crooksandliars.com/karoli/senator-mcgrumpy-goes-after-david-gregory-m

Has Senator McCain gone so batty as to attack the man who keeps McCain in the national conversation?