Saturday, October 13, 2012

The Gingrich Rules Are Forever

And remain in effect every week.

Regular readers will already be familiar with the Gingrich Rules to the point of self-harm:
In the game of professional punditry there also clearly exists a special set of rules designed with one person on mind.  Or, rather, one sort of person: Conservatism's parade of bomb-throwing, hate-mongering, race-baiting bottom feeders.  That breed which makes their daily bread from grifting the Pig People by generating an endless flood of books, magazine articles, broadcasts, speeches and videos all telling the GOP base over and over again that their bigotries are noble and their paranoia is patriotic. 
Of course, part of the downside of wallowing in the wingnut sewer and trafficking in slander and lies is that, sooner or later, you become a toxic mess.  Your stink becomes unacceptable to the general public, which s where the Sunday morning talk shows -- the Mouse Circus -- comes in.   Because despite having long ago devolved into a sinkhole of Beltway centrist twaddle, it is still viewed by altogether too many people as a bastion of Very Serious people -- it's the strip-mall of political opinion where casual shoppers go to feel smart and validated.

And so a bargain is struck; the bottom feeders deliver a temporary hike in the only thing these show's owners really care about -- audience share -- and, in exchange for being teevee friendly and keeping the worst of their batshit crazy on a leash for a few minutes, their Mouse Circus deburrs the bottom feeders' public image, replates and burnishes their credibility and temporarily transfuses them with Seriousness, which can then be redeemed at ten times its face value back among the Pig People.

And in the key to that bargain we find "The Gingrich Rules":


an agreement that the moderator will never, ever ask the bomb-throwing, hate-mongering, race-baiting goon sitting directly across from them a single question about their bomb-throwing, hate-mongering or race-baiting activities.  Instead they will be represented to the public merely as a Conservative commentator or talk radio host or pundit who, at worst, might be known for some "controversial" opinions, which the moderator will never bother to explicate.  *

This week -- once again fulfilling the direst prophecies of priests of Temple of Syrinx 


-- the Definer Of Civilization's Rules And Leader (Perhaps) Of The Civilizing Forces will manifest himself on the physical plane long enough to once again have his professional reputation One Hour Martinized and re- re- re- re- re- re- re-re- re- re- re- re- re- re- rehabilitated,  this time by Grandpa Bob Schieffer on his #1 Very Best Public Affairs Program For Television Viewing. teevee's second most ethically gelatinous Clinton-era muppet, George Robert Stephanopoulos.




DAY said...

Now that Fall has arrived, we have the NFL, and no need for TeeVee Talking Heads.

Both provide mindless content, but you can wager on the violence option.

What is the over/under on "Fundamentally"?

drbopperthp said...

Drifty - The Doctor is preparing himself for The Era of Romney/Ryan or The Dismantling of The Second Reconstruction.. Don't know what i'm more distressed about - the cancer that's trying to kill me or the one that's killing this country I love.

wjbill49 said...

Crooks and Liars has a snail mail option for donations .... not that I don't like paypal but I really don't like paypal

Hamfast Ruddyneck said...

Off topic: What is the significance of the 7.8% graphic at the top?

drbopperthp said...

The Sun is rising (new day filled with hopeful expectation) while the unemployment rate (7.8%) is falling.