The Triumphant Return of Libertine Men! Scarlet Women!

Flags, bitches!

 In February, I promised you:

A summer full of Flag Burning amendments, English-only education "debates", medicinal wine from a teaspoon, beer from a bottle, Libertine men! Scarlet women! Ragtime! and whatever else the GOP can dredge up from the very bottom of the Conservative Culture War sewer.

So far (and as predicted) the Right has been paint-by-numbers-perfect in the execution of their English-only fearmongering, but I must admit to making small, language-construction error about the Flag-burning bit.  Although I still fully expect that specific hysteria to be taken out of mothballs just in time for the Fox News' Fall rating period, like any carnival mentalist I should have phrased my prophecies a few degrees more broadly.

What I meant to say was "A summer full of whining about flag desecration and disrespect".

Because baby, here it comes!

From "The Atlantic":

Gabby Douglas Isn't Jingoistic Enough for Fox News

AUG 6 2012

The Olympic gold medalist was one target of criticism in a segment that included the dumbest remarks on American exceptionalism yet broadcast.

One curse of American life, dramatized in the following clip, is the fact that American exceptionalism and patriotism are invoked most often by people who've reflected on them least... 

 

Let's review.

Says satellite radio host David Webb, remarking on the fact that Olympic gold medal winner Gabby Douglas wasn't outfitted in American flag-themed attire when competing or standing on the podium:

What's wrong with showing pride? What we're seeing is this kind of soft anti-American feeling, that Americans can't show our exceptionalism. And frankly, if they are offended about us showing our exceptionalism, then they have that right and I don't care. And neither do most Americans.  
That's a fact.

Host Alisyn Camerota suggests that perhaps Americans are less vociferous than we once were about draping ourselves in the flag because our exuberance made other countries uncomfortable. "Do you buy that theory?" she asked:

No, I don't. And frankly, why should we? Every country has the right to cheer for their team. I've been to English soccer matches. And I'm sure that the English men and women are out there cheering loudly in the pubs, and having a great time. And they should. Spain to their team, Greeks for their team, any country. But America is America, and we are a very nationalistic nation.

We've also lost over time that jingoistic feeling. You know, the National Anthem, we sing it at baseball games. I think the National Anthem should be followed with, "Play ball." It's kind of an American thing. We've lost a little of that, you know, saying The Pledge of Allegiance. And I think that plays over into some of this soft acceptance. You know what? Red, white and blue -- wear it. Wave it. Be proud to be an American. It's not a political issue. But they make it a social issue.

So to sum up, this guy thinks that "American exceptionalism" can somehow be shown by displaying our flag more at the Olympics; and at the same time, he thinks it's absurd to object, because all the other countries do this thing that we should do in order to demonstrate we're exceptional.

...What's especially crazy about all this is that after Gabby Douglas won the gold medal in the women's gymnastics all-around, she stood waving up at the crowd clad in a red, white, and blue jacket with USA written on the back. Later during the medal ceremony she wore a gray jacket with an American flag patch on the shoulder, stood atop the podium, and listened to "The Star-Spangled Banner" as an American flag was hoisted up above her. Even if that weren't all true David Webb's commentary would be nonsense, but the fact that it is all true adds to the comic ambivalence about factual accuracy that characterizes so much of what people say on Fox News

...

I can see why the author -- Mr. Conor Friedersdorf -- finds all of this crazy. 

After all, none of it makes a lick of sense if you're not wearing --

-- the special glasses