Saturday, August 28, 2010

Teevee Crackpot Calls For Joining Him

to "end this destructive conflict"

and "bring order to the Galaxy".

(h/t ShitMyDarthSays)

A random sampling of my tweets from today's Mormonburg Rally, with some after-market improvements added to better serve You The Customer:

  • Glenn Beck: The Pod Piper.
  • Beck now going for the Castro Record for godawful, incoherent, rambling crap punctuated with random quotes.
  • What does America do with its mistakes? It gives them jobs on Fox teevee.
  • Glenn Beck wants to put giants into your children?
  • Thinking about using my last $$ enroll in Grifter School. The money is great and you literally don't need to know shit.
  • Glenn Beck filibusters so you don't have to.
  • Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Ba'al demands a sacrifice!
  • Glenn Beck: Not a fearmonger. He's an icemonger. Just like Jesus!
  • Glenn Beck says God caused 9/11. No, seriously. That's what he just said.
  • I think Beck just urged his Beckolytes to turn off Fox News.
  • Quit looking to other people to get you to the moon! Pick up your stick!
  • Today we celebrate the day when Giant Pilgrims...landed on the moon?
  • And God said "I shall send you a man with a schtick".
  • This is rivaling Nixon's resignation speech for random, rambly incoherence. My dad was a lemon farmer who picked up his stick and went to Mars, bitches!
  • This is like watching HAL getting its memory cards pulled. Puking out random syllables. Daisy...Jesus..Give me your
  • Vietnam...trees...freedom...giants...why?...dirty water...for us to reflect...and a bunch of guys.
  • Glenn Beck: When I was 18 yo, I used to buy weed on this very spot!
  • So the Washington Monument is made of...mood ring stuff? Look at it! Look! It is angry!
  • Shorter Beck: Quit reading history, kids. It'll only make you mad.
  • "In a world..." (Video) Glad to see Miguel Ferrer is still getting Voice Over work.
  • (After camera finds lone black man in crowd) CSPAN finally tracks Juan Williams down.
  • We lost our manufacturing base because...we were sinful? Want those Maytag jobs back? Pray harder!
  • Next up, Pussy Galore and her team are supposed to gas the crowd, after which Beck will steal all their gold.
  • "We're all born knowing the truth"? So all you need to know is how to shit yourself and cry? Teabagging finally explained!
  • "...which is why Mr. Hunstman unstintingly supports stem cell research."? Say it! Say it!
  • "Hello Sodom! City by the bay!"
  • "Glenn Beck is one of the Confederacy's most trusted and honored citizens."
  • "Winners Never Cheat", now with forward by George W. Bush.
  • Shorter Whitestock: Random verb+random verb+random adjective +Jesus! Rinse and repeat.
  • This reads like Glenn Beck's copy-and-paste book report on a whole lotta shit he never read. Goodness is...Good!
  • So Far, GoldLine "medals" for Baseball, Jesus and War. Next up, the GoldLine "medal" for Excellence in Apple Pieing.
  • Tony (LaRussa) didn't know about this fine organization until he read the check.
  • Where have all the truthies gone? Long time passing. Where have all the truthies gone? Gone to buy some gold...
  • Three women stood out in the ministry, just like the Women of Glenn Beck. Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos?
  • ...And I'd like to thank GoldLine for the "medals".
  • What the fucking is a "Navy Sill"?
  • It terribly sad that GWB's lies screwed up that nice lady's family.
  • Shorter Whitestock: First, everybody came to America and got along great. Then, the 16th Cent happened. Then Jesus wrote the Constitution.
  • Thus ends the today's national gathering of the Stick Picker Uppers.
  • Onward Xian Stick Picker Uppers...Marching as to where?
  • Shorter Whitestock :"Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it." Homer J. Simpson
  • I feel like I've eaten three pounds of Silly Putty.
  • Kept waiting for Trashcan Man to show up dragging a nuke.


KWillow said...

"Thus ends the today's national gathering of the Stick Picker Uppers"

But did they pick up their trash?

I noticed people playing (or peeing?) in the reflecting pool.

Drifty, how many people would you say attended? Wingers sites are claiming at least half-a-million.

driftglass said...

No idea how many people went. Also don't care :-) 100K? 300K? 500K? The Right has a long history of lying about the size of their mobs. All I know for sure is, they got chumped, traveling from far and wide to participate in one of the greatest rambling flops of the modern age.

Donald Merwin Elbert said...

"My life for you!"

zuzu said...

A million went to Obama's Inauguration and the city was effectively shut down for hours.

So, doubtful it was half a million.

In the early 90s, I went to the March for Women's Lives, and there were more people there than it looked like there were for Beckapalooza. A lot more. IIRC, it was pretty well jammed from the Lincoln to the Washington, and the WWII memorial hadn't been built yet.

Denny Smith said...

CBS count pegged it a 87,000.
Less or more, they're still rabidly stupid rubes who deserve to get shaken down by the grifters.
The gate was around 680K, so that amounts to about 7,80 a head, not including transport costs, food, lodging, ...
Remember, theyre payin' this to hear a guy who claims Jesus speaks to and through him.
Fucking morons.

Anonymous said...

The half million moron march

Anonymous said...

SteveUpNorth said...

Trashcan man dragging a nuke.
Lol'd for a good long while at that image.
If only the 'finger of god' would reach out and 'touch' Beck like at the end of The Stand...