Saturday, January 09, 2010

Saturday Morning Comin’ Down

Tomorrow, if you get up early enough (and pound down enough Dramamine/Pepto-Bismol cocktails) you'll be able to watch this guy

(who most recently allowed this guy

to lie through his teeth about terrorism for political advantage)

invite this guy’s

daughter back on teevee, presumably to talk about what a hero dad was and what a terrorist-loving douche Barack Obama is.

For the umpteenth time.

The fact that, other than being this guy’s

daughter, she has no standing or credentials to open her bratwurst hole about anything will go very conspicuously unmentioned.

Instead, this guy

will at some point nod sagely and then talk about “Mawkets is wha bwings us togeveh today” or bimetallism or something.

This guy’ll be on the teevee too.

On a couple of stations, you’ll be able to see this catastrophically Failed Neocon Mentat’s


Flip a channel, you’ll see this Republican Hero First Class

begging for Gummint Handouts (I notice that the Base has for some reason stopped trying to gin up a Constitutional amendment that would let them elect him President.)

On a couple of other channels, you’ll see this guy

Trying desperately to pretend he’s this guy.

On another station, someone will stick a camera in front of these guys --
the guy who got beat like a rented mule

in the last Presidential campaign

and the guy whose popularity in his own state

is now slightly below flesh-eating toe fungus
-- for Installment #1,287 of their execrable and never-ending road-buddy-teevee series. This week -- Jerusalem! -- presumably to talk what a terrorist-loving douche Barack Obama is.

For the umpteenth time.

Because that just never gets old.

This guy’ll be around somewhere

And, of course, no week would be complete without letting this guy

pee on America's forehead.

Which specific stations these people are on have long since ceased to matter: there are apparently only eleven pundits and nine plug-and-play “guests” left on Earth, and each week the same people reshuffle the same blood-smudged deck and re-deal the same dog-eared old cards in an endless repetition of the same, shopworn drivel, by the same jaded, dead-eyed creeps.

Enlightening no one. Informing no one. Improving the lives of no one.

And they will not stop or change no matter what we say or do.

Which is a little bit of what Hell is like.


knowdoubt said...

Yes Sir, I would agree 100% with possibly a little more emphasis on the Hell, as in PURE, UNADULTERATED HELL. God if it wasn't for blogs like yours I would give up media on weekends completely. You are the best about confronting the pure ugly truth, which would not be complete without the graphics. I think that depiction of "Lapdog Gregory" is possibly my favorite, but hey they're all just incredibly spot on. How did you manage to leave out David Fucking Brooks, do they save him for the other days?

Anonymous said...

Well, DG, until the networks realize how much more entertaining YOU would be hosting any of those shows, this is what we're left with. I can't believe you can still watch them. I can't. - mac

Serving Patriot said...

And this, Drifty, is why I let others suffer through the dreck!! I know it's selfish of me. But simply turning off the agri-medical-pharma-health-military-corporate sponsored bullsh*t that flies across the public's airwaves each Sunday morn is a preventive mental health program for this patriot!


tw33z said...

Careful with your Michael Steele racial stereotypes there. I understand no bigotry was intended, but you'd be wiser to photoshop his face on some non-black pop culture icons. Word to the wise is all

Comrade PhysioProf said...

SMCD on Saturday fucking night!! Good one, holmes!

darkblack said...

Why would somebody be 'wiser' to 'photoshop his face on some non-black pop culture icons'...Exactly?
Explain the logic underlying your veiled warning, if you would.

knowdoubt said...

Yes, pray tell, tw33z; where is the bigotry you see?

Rehctaw said...

"Don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows"

Un-fuckin'-canny Sir. It's as though you've watched tomorrow already.

BONUS: Methinks you may have made Bobo and MoDo pout.

Hap Haploid said...

All my favorites in one post! Thank you, DG. And, by the way, you know you've made it when you have your very own concern troll.

Woody (Tokin Librul/Rogue Scholar/ Helluvafella!) said...

Drifty, mon frere, it is presentations like this one which redeem my fast-waning hope that individuals on the webz can actually DO something, semiotically, to shape perceptions. You are, as ever, a fuukin GENIUS! Nailed 'em everyone. My eternal gratitude for your fortitude to endure them long enough to create these terrific images...

Batocchio said...

Even better than usual.

Myrtle June said...

tw33z - Michael Steele as his own self is more offensive as sterotypes go. You make no sense.

So true this. It IS hell to watch. This same thing happened in my last job... NO matter what... same questions from the same people regardless of the extra training/programming/babysitting... Same. Fucking. Conversations. Over. Again. It actually starts killing off brain cells, teh stupid does, and perhaps that's their plan. Death by stupid.

Distributorcap said...

the only thing worth watching on sunday is paint dry

and you of course.....


Gazetteer said...

Perhaps Mr and/or Mrs. Tw33zer would care to receive a good old fashioned dose of the Gilliard Doctrine?