Monday, May 18, 2009

Sunday Morning Comin’ Down



Even though the official Drag Queen Name Generator of the 2012 Olympics gives his proper nom de hey-now as "Sofonda Cox", today when Dick Cheney strapped a funny blond wig to his head and went abroad among the living on “This Week” , he used the lady-with-man-junk name of "Liz".

Either way, he fooled no one.

Republican Chris Wallace and Republican Mitch McConnell threw a Fair and Balanced hen-party on Republican “Fox News Sunday” about whether or not Nancy Pelosi is a big, stinky poo-headed poopy pooington!

Turns out they think she is.

The acid-blow "Our Lady of the Dolphins" -- Peggy Noonan -- used part of her time on “Meet the Press” to opine that "Dazed and confused is a bad way for a speaker of the House to look. ." Later she said something like "...I, I think as regular Americans who don't obsess on politics sort of walk by the teevee screen and pick things up here...you’ve got Cool Hand Luke...there’s so much stuff...spaghetti against the wall...it’s head-spinning...a sense of flurry...not do the flurry, and worry about the cost, the cost, the cost."

Then she stared at the lines on her hands for four hours, remarked how much skin looked like interlocking crystals when you really, really just, y'know, LOOK at it, suddenly screamed "Diamonds! We're all made of diamonds!", ran out of the studio and into traffic where she was hit by a dolphin driving a gelato wagon playing "Kashmir"

at 120 decibels.

Or so I am told.

In his signature, aging-hustler-desperately-peddling-gold-painted-turds-in-a-downpour kind of way, Mikey Steele somehow managed to used his time on “Meet the Press” to bash his way ever deeper into that thicket of double-talking Republican failure and hypocrisy out of which he was supposed to be clawing his Party. Because, yes kiddies, he really did cite Christie Todd Whitman -- who bailed out of the Bush GOP six years ago over Dick Cheney's pig-headed anti-environmentalism and then wrote a book about it two years later -- as evidence of how tolerant and broad-minded Republicans are.

Of course this big, fat, slow pitch of an opportunity for Real Journalism sailed right past David Gregory, presumably because no one had written in Big Letters on his index cards before the show.

Predicting 100 percent Steele component failure in 3...2...1...

300 million Americans and these waxwork dummies are the best we can do.

A trillion dollar media industry and this is the best we can buy.

6 comments:

justme said...

A trillion dollar media industry and this is the best we can buy.For those with the trillions, it seems to work just fine.

Alas, we live in a time where David "Frog Faced Fuck" Frum can waltz onto NPfuckingR on any given day and bloviate at length on whatever fantasy wriggled free of his dingleberries that morning without being identified as anything other than a Fellow at AEI, much less actually being called out on obvious lies and misdirection.

Apparently, somebody is getting what is paid for.

justme said...

meh.

The carriage return showed up in preview.

Cirze said...

Nice.

Juxtaposition.

The acid-blow "Our Lady of the Dolphins" -- Peggy Noonan --

"it’s head-spinning...a sense of flurry...not do the flurry, and worry about the cost, the cost, the cost."

Then she stared at the lines on her hands for four hours, remarked how much skin looked like interlocking crystals when you really, really just, y'know, LOOK at it, suddenly screamed

"Diamonds! We're all made of diamonds!"
Thanks, Dg. Your finesse with images exceeds all bounds.

I cannot stop myself from smiling for some odd reason on a Monday morning.

Kudos.

S

Anonymous said...

If Georgie insists on having "The Liz" and "Mcstooge Number One" on one side of the panel...why not have like...I dont know Jim Webb and say..Jesse Ventura on the other? That way, Jim could rip the dicklettes head off, and Jesse could..ya know..drop one down her neck. Beats listening to Ms. Van den Hovel being devoured by the wolves....

Sandy Underpants said...

you're funny

Anonymous said...

Being as how it's hot out tonight and the last time I heard Kashmir was when we were doing blotter and snorting the insides outta Dexatrim diet capsules someone had bought at the Lawson's milk store, thoughts (naturally) turn to just how fucking mind-blowing it is that in all this time all that's really happened (besides me being still alive, which was doubtful at some points) is that Richard Nixon has moved so far to the left he's now a fucking socialist and the people talking on the teevee are stark raving lunatics, similar to when we finally stumbled home after all night of ingesting pretty much everything there was to ingest and mom is sitting there at the table, cigarette hanging half out of her mouth and you try to have something of a normal conversation and you can tell by the look on her face you probably should never have come home at all, and these people now on the teevee are talking like that in public and getting paid for it.

Have I said I love you?

luko